How can I work with the professionals who help my son to improve his behavior difficulties?
My 4-year-old son has some language processing difficulties. I need advice on how to deal with his tantrums of hitting, throwing stuff, peeing on his pants, etc. when he is in his very frequent temperamental behavior. He does not behave like this in school though. This is affecting my other normal six-year-old son's life terribly. Not to mention mine, as well. Please help. Time out or ignoring his tantrums does not help. His tantrums most of the time is due to him not being able to interpret as to what we are asking him to do or him not having it his way.
Laticia
Who identified that he has a language processing problem? I hope it was by a speech-language therapist or a special education team. Do these language processing problems interfere with his ability to process what he hears and what he tries to speak? Do they interfere with early preschool learning like letter and number recognition?
I would suspect that his behavior at home is the result of his frustrations with handling life. If he does not always know what he hears or has difficulty finding the words to express himself, he will be angry and upset. If he cannot do play activities or peer interactions at his age level, he will be frustrated.
Start by sitting down with the professionals who diagnosed him as having a language processing difficulty. Ask this person(s) to help you answer your question about his behavior. Have them explain the frustration and teach you how to help you son be less frustrated.
Note from LD OnLine: For more information on Language Processing Difficulties, visit LD OnLine's Speech and Language section.
(January 2007)
When is homeschooling appropriate for a child with many special learning needs?
My six-year-old daughter is very bright. I am home schooling her. Last year she went to a private school for Kindergarten. She coasted through with all A's. I felt she could have done more, but I didn't push because after all, it's only kindergarten. When she asked for more work after school, I gave her work from a first grade workbook. By letting her move at her own pace, she is finishing 2-4 days of school work in one day.
The only thing she will not do for me is read. She says it is boring. I gave her an easier book. She struggled and couldn't read it. I gave her a simple chapter book with a picture on each page and she read two pages with barely any help. It was marked as a level 4 book. After two pages, she was done. I tried to get her to read more of it the next day and she said she couldn't.
In other areas, she is a well behaved little girl. She does not like to be corrected, and will frequently roll her eyes when she is. She has difficulties being distracted, and can rarely fulfill a two-part command. (In fact, my mildly autistic son can perform a two-part command better than she can!) If you tell her that something is behind her, she is likely to turn around in a full circle, look up at the ceiling and say she can't find it. I was wondering if she could have ADD. And I was also wondering if it is important to get a diagnosis for her, even though I do not intend to medicate.
I am hoping to find solutions that can help her individual problems--including finding a curriculum that best suits her needs. But am I doing the right thing by her?
Liza
Your desire to help your daughter progress at her own rate of growth rather than the curriculum offered by a general education program is fine. However, I hear several other themes that concern me.
First, she appears to be struggling with reading. Reading is not a skill a student learns on their own. It needs to be taught by someone who knows how to teach reading. Is she behind because of your teaching or because she might have a potential problem with reading or because of some other factor. You need to clarify this question before you can decide how best to help her with her reading.
Second, you question if she might have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. As possible evidence you note that she can be distracted and she "rarely fulfills a two-part command." May I urge you to stop trying to be everything to her. If you do not have a degree in elementary school education; if you do not have a degree in speech-language therapy; if you do not have a professional degree in psychology or medicine, I urge you to see the advise of these individuals. Does she have a reading disability? Find out. Does she have a language disability? Find out. Does she have ADHD? Find out.
For your daughter's sake, love her, help her. But agree that you may not be able to answer all of the questions you ask.
(January 2007)
How can a sibling help their younger brother with Aspergers Syndrome?
My name is Matthew White and I am 15 years old and I have a younger brother who has Asperger's syndrome. When I babysit, it is always a hassle to get him to brush his teeth or do something when it is his turn to do it. He will fight with me and be so persistent that it annoys me to the point I just give up. I was wondering if you could give me some suggestions to help my house run a little more smoothly and so my parents aren't so overwhelmed.
I was also wondering if you could explain why he does these things. What I can do to help everything run smoother and help make our family more "close-knit"? I think that once we get this under control we can be a happier family in the long run.
All I know about the subject is that I just can't get mad at him, because once I get mad at him he just doesn't listen at all and then there is no way to get him to do what you want.
Matthew
Your brother is very lucky to have a brother like you. Your awareness and sensitivity go beyond your 15 years of life. It sounds like both you and your parents need help. I would hope that this help was available through your brother's school program or though a parent support group.
Ask your parents to go to a website - Online Asperger Syndrome Information and Support. This site will provide lots of information on the questions you ask and will provide resources for you and for your parents.
(January 2007)
What happens if medication does not seem to be working well?
My son was diagnosed with ADHD and learning disabilities at the end of third grade. He is now in ninth grade and gets very frustrated to the fact that he can't concentrate and do well in school. I feel frustrated myself because I don't know how to help him get out of his frustration.
He used to take Concerta until last year. He now refuses to take the medicine because it makes him feel a different person and he gets angry and aggressive when he takes it. I stopped giving it to him.
Please provide me with some feedback as to how I can help him succeed.
Lvonne
Let me focus first on the ADHD. Maybe he can't concentrate in school because his ADHD is no longer being treated. You should know that there are two consequences of being on too high a dose of Ritalin (Concerta). First, the individual may be more emotionally fragile - more angry or upset. Second, the individual may feel spacey - like someone flattened his personality. Perhaps if he saw someone who knew how to adjust the dose and monitor the medication, he would not resist. Discuss this with your physician.
Second, he has learning disabilities. And, now he is in high school. Does he have the compensatory strategies to handle high school work? Does he have the necessary accommodations in class? Could his frustration also be because he is no longer receiving adequate services?
(January 2007)
Will having a student repeat a grade in school help them?
When is it appropriate to retain a student in the eighth grade? My daughter goes to a private Catholic school. She was previously diagnosed with ADHD Combined Type, Visual-Motor Processing Deficit and also appears to have difficulty with expressive writing.
Many interventions have taken place since Kindergarten. She has had years of private academic therapy, vision therapy, occupational therapy, and goes to a psychiatrist for medication management. In addition, she has accommodations as well as some modifications. She sees an Occupational therapist one day per week for two hours and an academic therapist twice a week.
I am also in the field with a (LMHC) & ESE background. In the past two years she has had many external stressors. She was taken off medication for ADHD due to "crashing" in sixth grade. She has also missed school due to a family crisis.
She is in the process of getting an IEP in public school. I know it will be a disaster if she moves on to a public high school and I am at a real loss as to what to do. If I retain her she will graduate with her class and then go to a public middle school for one year and move on to high school.
Should I retain her given the amount of previous and current interventions? I don't want to break her heart but I also want to do what's right for her. With the amount of school she has lost and the achievement level she is at, she might benefit with an additional year in eighth grade. (fourth grade math and beginning sixth grade reading skills according to the WJIIIR.) This is a terrible decision and she may loose what confidence she does have. Please give me your opinion if you can. I would sincerely appreciate it as a feel that I am all alone in the process.
Sincerely,
Janine
The question is not whether you want to retain your child in her grade or not. The question is what are the many problems your daughter faces and how best to address each. First, may I urge you to clarify exactly where your daughter's current learning disabilities are as well as her learning strengths. She may have had excellent services over the years; however, where is she now. Does she have the skills to handle her current academic needs? Is she provided the necessary services and accommodations to be successful?
Once these issues are clarified, you option would be to keep her in the private school, being sure that she receive all of the accommodations she will need. And, it will be critical that you provide all of the special education services she now needs privately. (You could try to get services from her public school. But, be sure that they are adequate and remember that she must travel to her nearest public school to receive these services.
Or, your option would be to transfer her to the public school. Even here, it will be essential that her IEP reflect all of her needs and services needed.
You also add other factors: She was taken off medication for ADHD due to crashing. No, you do not take students off medication for this side effect. You address this side effect. Second, you note serious family crises that cannot be minimized.
Maybe you need the advise of a good special education consultant regarding her school needs. And, you need to see a mental health professional who is knowledgeable about treating ADHD as well as LD as well as the emotional issues. Probably best to address each of these needs would be a Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist.
(January 2007)
How do you distinguish between learning disabilities and brain damage?
My daughter, who is now eight, was born at 24 weeks gestation. As a result, she suffered from lack of oxygen and developed a grade 2 bleed. She does not need a shunt and functions fairly well, ambulatory, good verbal skills and such. She does have mild to moderate CP. The best diagnosis we have been given is global brain damage, which means the damage affects every part of her life.
She is in third grade at her neighborhood school. I believe she has been socially promoted). She was in a self-contained school for three years. Her label on her IEP is LD. Since Emily does have brain damage, should she or any child with this type of damage be considered LD?
I have a son who is LD in reading and writing. And they seem different. He learns differently. She, on the other hand, seems slower. There just seems to be missing pieces. She is roughly two years behind in reading and three years behind in math.
Would a change in labeling help with the way she is being served on her IEP? I don't think they take in mind that she does have this damage. The traditional special education instruction for LD may not be what she needs to progress. I am just finding it hard to believe that brain damage and LD are the same.
Thank you in advance,
Crystal
There is a category within IDEA for Traumatic Brain Injury; however, students with your daughter's history are usually identified based on how the prenatal trauma impacts on their ability to learn. In general, children with her history have a more global pattern of disabilities than the child usually seen as having a learning disability.
The key to your question is that your daughter is not making progress in her current placement and with her current services. What is critical is that the most current psychological and educational evaluations be used to assess her placement, types of interventions, and intensity of interventions. She was in a self-contained program for preschool. You feel that the program she has been in since Kindergarten has not been adequate.
I would advise you to see a private special education consultant who could review your daughter's current educational disabilities and status, review her current placement, and help you decide if you should appeal her IEP placement, asking for a more intensive program.
(December 2006)
Why is my daughter's school hesitant to label her learning disability with the term "dyslexia"?
My daughter is a sixth grade student and has always had problems with reading and writing. She has an IEP, but the school doesn't seem to be helping with the obvious.
Since being diagnosed with ADD, I have been doing research on dyslexia and she seems to fit all the symptoms surrounding this learning problem. But whenever I bring this up to the school they don't want to hear it or act like I know nothing. They deny that there is a test for this specific disability. They say that all the people with learning disabilities are taught the same way and that is just the way it is.
My biggest concern here is she is not getting the help that she needs and still has the hardest time with the simplest of words. What should I do or better yet how do I go about getting her tested for something the school doesn't acknowledge?
Thanks,
Allison
Some professionals prefer to use terms that have been used for the past 50 years and that describe the primary problem.
Thus, if the difficulty is with using phonological skills to read, the child has dyslexia. If the problem is with writing, the term Dysgraphia is used. If math is the problem, Dyscalculia is used.
In the mid-1970s a law was passed requiring that all public schools address the needs of children with disabilities. This landmark law created the whole special education system. The term Learning Disability was used. Whether these disabilities impacted on reading, writing, math, or other areas, the umbrella term used is Learning Disability.
So, try not to focus so much on terms as on what your daughter needs. If she is not getting the help you believe she needs, you might seek a private educational consultant to advise you on how to approach your school system. If the school is limited in what it can offer, you might have to supplement what she gets in school with private help.
(December 2006)
Where can an adult be formally diagnosed with ADHD?
I have been diagnosed with adult attention deficit. I am currently taking Concerta. Where can I take a diagnostic test? Is it a formal test in which I can take so I can seek professional help? I just retired from the military and I would like to be able to go to college and able to really learn and not only pass a test.
I am getting ready to go to college this fall and I am assuming they would like some type of formal evaluation, test type documentation. The more a read about ADHD the more I see myself back in my early age.
Thank you,
William
The formal criteria for diagnosing someone of any age with ADHD is in a diagnostic manual called the DSM-IV.
The first step is to confirm the presence of hyperactivity and/or inattention and/or impulsivity. Then, it is necessary to show that these behaviors have been present since childhood (chronic) and that they exist in many aspects of your life (pervasive).
Finally, it must be clear that there are no other disorders that might explain the problems. A physician makes the diagnosis. Check around to find out which physicians, often psychiatrist, are knowledgeable about ADHD.
(November 2006)
Do you have any tips for teenage drivers with ADHD and/or LD?
I am a 17-year-old girl who has been diagnosed with ADHD and a type of LD. I have had my license since August of 2005. Since then (not including the minor bumps against the garage), I've had two severe car accidents resulting in totaling both cars. The first one was inexperience, but the second one was failure to pay attention and my reaction time.
My parents are restricting my driving right now but they don't want to take it away because they don't want me to lose my freedom. Do you know of any tips or books for teenagers living with ADHD and driving?
Thanks
Ashley
You are wise to ask for help.
Start by learning what type of LD you have. Hopefully your parents or a school professional will know. You need to find out if this disability might be contributing to your problem. For example, if you have visual-spatial or visual-motor difficulties, you might have trouble judging distance, closeness.
Then, clarify in what ways you have ADHD. Are you hyperactive? Are you inattentive and easily distracted? Are you impulsive? If you are any or all of these, it would be important that you be on the proper medication when you drive. This medication would reduce or stop such behaviors.
Now, to be more practical. Ask your parents to check with the driving schools in your area. Ask if any program has a teacher that works well with students who have ADHD or Learning Disabilities. Even though you already have a license, it would be helpful to take more practice lessons with someone who understands and who can give you practical advice.
Good Luck.
(November 2006)
My son's IEP team says he doesn't qualify for an IEP or 504 plan. What are my rights?
My son struggled with reading but was a whiz in math and other subjects. We discovered he has auditory processing disorder just before third grade last year. An amplification system was placed in his classroom but he receives no other accommodations.
When the IEP team met, I was told he scored average to above average overall on all other educational testing except some subtests and does not qualify for an IEP or 504 plan. I asked for a meeting with the new teachers each school year and a specific accommodation page to be implemented for the teacher such as preferential seating and specifics about his disability because an amplification system does not resolve his disorder and was told that the former teacher would talk with them.
What are my rights? I was adamant to request the above but need further help.
Thanks,
JG
It is not common to only find an auditory processing disorder. Has your son had formal testing to clarify what other factors might contribute to his reading disability? I would suspect that there is more.
You need to have a good educational consultant to help you with your school system. You need to clarify what accommodations are needed and how to approach your school to get these accommodations.
(November 2006)
How do I get my son changed from a 504 to an IEP?
How do I get my son changed from a 504 to an IEP?
Thanks,
Maureen
An IEP is based on your son meeting the requirements of your school system to be identified as having a specific disability.
Under the school law, IDEA, services and accommodations must be provided once a disability is identified. This IEP spells out what services and accommodations will be provided.
Section 504 is based on another law, now called the Americans with Disabilities Act. Under this law, if someone has a disability, he or she must be provided accommodations (services are not mentioned).
So, go back to your school professionals and clarify for yourself why they do not believe that he meets the criteria to be identified as having a disability. Without meeting these criteria, an IEP will not be considered.
(November 2006)
What does the term "non-verbal learning disability" mean?
I have a 14-year-old son who was diagnosed with dyslexia at an early age. Just recently he was diagnosed with having a nonverbal learning disability as well.
I would like to know if there are any good books or other material available that specifically can explain the relationship between these two seemingly opposing disabilities.
I was told that although he is getting straight A's now, it is certain he will "crash" in high school. I am deeply concerned for my child's self esteem and would like any recommendations you can make to direct me to publications that specifically address the self esteem issues of a teenager with my sons specific learning disabilities.
Thank you for your kind attention,
Janet
The term, Nonverbal Learning Disability is used in two different ways in some literature.
Most learning disabilities are "language-based." This means that problems with phonological skills result in the reading, writing, or other disabilities. Some students have problems with fine motor skills (grapho-motor skills) and with organization and executive function skills. They often do not show language-based problems. This group is referred to as having a nonverbal learning disability.
What is confusing is that children with Pervasive Developmental Disorders may also have problems with motor, organization, and executive function skills. However, they also have many other problems.
As you read material, be sure to check if NLD is used as a type of Learning Disability or is used as if it refers to children with Pervasive Developmental Disorder. What is important is that you find help for your son. If it relates to writing, organization, and executive function and your school will not help, you may need to find someone privately who is skilled in these areas.
(November 2006)
Do you have any helpful hints or tips for adults with LD that struggle with test anxiety?
I have a question concerning the NYS Teacher's Certification Exam. I am an adult with a learning disability and I am struggling to pass these exams. Do you have any helpful hints or ideas that I might be able to try?
I am not a test-taker and often "flip out." Part of me doesn't know if it's my learning disability or test anxiety.
Thanks
Megan
Under the American's with Disabilities Act, if someone has a documented disability, any testing program must provide the appropriate accommodations.
If you have Learning Disabilities, you will need current test data to document this. You will also need to have a professional define how your specific disabilities will interfere with the specific material and style of questions in the exam. Only with this data can you request the accommodation of extended time.
If you have an anxiety disorder that flairs up in test situations, you need to discuss this with a physician who can prescribe medication to use prior to taking the test.
So, go to the website for the exam, click under accommodations, click under your disability, and download the requirements to request accommodations. Then, try to address this list.
If everything fails, you will need to do practice exams until you are dizzy. You must learn to be efficient with the types of questions and types of problems you will be asked to know.
(November 2006)
How can I get a good diagnosis for my child who might have a learning disability?
My 5-year-old son was recently referred for testing by teachers. We filled out forms and brought him to the pediatrician who promptly diagnosed my son as ADHD and prescribed Focalin.
I asked about other possibilities related to LD maybe being part of the problem as his skills are severely delayed (about 1.5 years behind other children). I was told it was possible he had an LD that caused him to lose interest and focus OR it could be ADHD that caused him to have problems learning. I asked how do we know which it is and was told the solution was to medicate and see if it works or not.
I described in detail his ability to learn and retain information verbally just not visually so much. I asked about testing for learning disabilities before we started medicating my child.
The pediatrician referred me to a developmental clinic who does not take private insurance, only Medicaid, and costs around $10,000 for a full screen for LDs. I need to have an alternative as I cannot afford this screen and am hesitant to make my child a guinea pig with medication that he may or may not need.
Please help - what do I do? What resources exist for us?
Thank you,
Jenni
You ask good questions. Your son's problems might be due to evolving Learning Disabilities or due to ADHD or due to both. It is important to clarify.
Did your pediatrician do a full assessment? Did he/she use the required criteria to diagnose ADHD? (Presence of hyperactivity and/or inattention and/or impulsivity that has been present for several years and that are noted at school, home, with friends.) If not, don't accept the diagnosis.
I would suggest you find a good educational diagnostician, experienced with early childhood. You will not have to guess. If there are developmental delays or LD, testing will clarify. This assessment should not cost more that $1,500 to $2,000, depending on what is done. (I have no idea what a developmental clinic would do that would cost $10,000).
(November 2006)
How do we help a child with ADHD and auditory processing deficit?
We are trying to decide which therapy would be better for our daughter who has been diagnosed with a mild case of ADHD and a possible auditory processing deficit. We are currently considering the NILD Discovery program or neurofeedback. We cannot find information comparing the two.
Thank you so much for replying.
Sincerely,
Lori
First, and most important is that the diagnoses are correct and that other possible causes for the problems have not been missed. Has she had formal psycho-educational testing? Has she been diagnosed with ADHD by a professional who uses the criteria required to make this diagnosis? Please do not jump into any type of treatment until you know what it is that you are treating.
For ADHD, medication is the treatment that works best. For auditory processing problems or learning disabilities, speech-language or special education therapy works best.
Don't spend your money and your daughter's time on NILD Discovery or neurofeedback as an initial step. Neither has been documented as being effective treatments for ADHD or for auditory processing problems.
If you want more information on evaluation, diagnosis, treatments, you might want to read the book, The Misunderstood Child.
(August 2006)
Is dyslexia genetic?
I have three boys aged 12, 8, and 6 and all three have been identified with dyslexia.
The oldest has been diagnosed with dyslexia, dyspraxia and visual stress syndrome. I am still trying to get him the best support possible. My middle son has been identified as having dyslexic tendencies and is being tested soon, my youngest son has shown quite profound dyslexic and dyspraxic tendencies, his school will be arranging something soon.
Does this mean it has been a genetic marker, as I also have visual dyslexia? What can i expect with my children, especially my youngest who has quite profound problems? Am I entitled to any help with them or are there any schools that are specifically for children like mine, a place where they can get the best education possible?
Many thanks
Michaela
Yes, learning disabilities can be heavily familial. They do run in families.
Have they been formally tested and diagnosed? If not, approach their school principal to do the testing or arrange for it to be done privately. Only with formal clarification on the disabilities, can you request that the school provide services or seek private services.
You should be concerned. Move fast. If you need more information relating to your question, you might read The Misunderstood Child
(August 2006)
What accommodations can be made for Executive Frontal Dysfunction?
My son has recently been diagnosed with Executive Frontal Dysfunction. In the past everyone has said ADHD, but I knew that was not accurate.
Recently met with the IEP team and the school is not familiar with Executive Frontal. Can you please tell me how I can assure that my sons needs are being met on the IEP and that it is reflected in the classroom and not just on a piece of paper.
Organization and Executive Function difficulties can be caused by a Learning Disability, by ADHD, or by both. It is important to clarify which is the problem.
Should the behaviors be secondary to ADHD, medication will help. If due to LD, special education interventions will help. If due to both, medication and special education will be needed. So, work with an educational professional to clarify which is the problem. Based on the results, see your family doctor and/or request that the school professionals assess for services.
(August 2006)
How should I handle my trouble with math?
I am a LD student about to enter ninth grade. I am dysgraphic and have fine motor skills difficulties. My school is wonderful about accommodations and such but I have encountered some difficulties with math.
Math was always my strong subject in elementary school. I was found to be gifted with an IQ of 138 and attended honors classes for math, science, and social studies in middle school. I did well in sixth grade but had difficulties in seventh. In eighth grade, I had tremendous difficulties and am going to repeat Algebra I, which I took a year early.
I wonder if my poor understanding has more to do with my inability to listen and take good notes during class or just because I'm not a good student or just bad at Algebra. If it is the first reason do you feel it is fair for me to repeat the class and if not what would think would be the best route for me to take?
Cassie
I complement you on your understanding of your learning disabilities. Great for you. Your ideas are good ones.
First, sit down with a learning disabilities specialist at your school or talk with the private professional that might have tested you. This person should be able to offer specific suggestions. If this is not possible, see if your family will get you a math tutor. The tutor can teach you in the way you learn best and can help you develop strategies to succeed.
Good luck. If these ideas don't work, e-mail me again.
(July 2006)
Should ADHD medication be given only when a child is at school?
My step-son is taking Concerta. Shouldn't he take it every day? His mom only gives it to him through the week, not on the weekends, or only when he's in school. When we have him, he says he feels weird on Monday at school. I want to know if it is harmful to him because he's on and off it so much.
Thanks,
Shaun
Medication for ADHD, such as Concerta, should be taken whenever the hyperactivity, inattention, and/or impulsivity could interfere with the child's ability to function and perform.
If weekends are casual and there are no sports activities or homework to do, he might be ok without medication. If you notice that his ADHD behaviors create behavioral, social, or academic difficulties when he is with you, it might be important for him to be on the medication.
(July 2006)
How do you decide the most important therapy for a six-year old child?
My son just turned 6 years old and is about to repeat kindergarten. We just moved from Michigan to Florida where the school systems are quite different.
We had some concerns last year when my son had difficulty learning his numbers and letters. Our son was tested by an occupational therapist and she suggested that he had visual motor processing problems and recommended occupational therapy. We were also told by a behavioral optometrist we should start vision therapy because there are eye tracking issues beyond the processing problems.
He is currently reviving tutoring and is scheduled for a speech evaluation next week. Are we overwhelming our son with therapy? Which therapy should be the priority? Is it too early to get comprehensive I.Q. and L.D. testing?
We met with a psychologist who feels we should wait until he is seven for best results because the delays could be resolved through maturation. Should we wait for comprehensive testing if he is getting therapy anyway or should we get the whole picture? We are confused, concerned, and spending a whole lot of money.
Please let us know what we should do.
Thank you,
Tiffany
The best time to intervene is when you find that your child has a problem. You have done just that. If the reason for the problems is a developmental delay, the interventions can only facilitate catching up. Should the problems no longer be there by first or second grade, you can stop.
However, if what you have found is the earliest phases of a learning disability, the early interventions will help him keep up and learn. In this case, he might need help for several more years.
So, yes, you are doing the right thing. The only suggestion is to focus the intervention on the problems found. He is old enough to have psycho-educational testing. These results will help to pinpoint the problems and will direct you to the necessary interventions.
(July 2006)
