How can I prove to my workplace that I have a learning disability if my high school records don't indicate a diagnosis?
Hi and thank you for taking my question. I'm an adult male in my late 30's. I was diagnosed with a learning disability in the early 1970s. I was in special education classes from elementary school through high school. Just recently, I put in a request for my high school to send me copies of my transcript to see if they had me listed as an LD student. They responded by saying that at that time, they didn't use the terminology of a learning disability. My high school transcripts show that indeed I was in special education classes, but do not list a learning disability.
I want information about my diagnosis because I want my workplace to know that I have a learning disability. I have no other record about my disability and I know my workplace will want something in writing or on file. Any suggestions about what I can do to prove my case?
Thanks for your advice,
Gerald
Gerald: You are correct in needing documentation if you are to use the Americans With Disabilities Act to request accommodations at work. The federal law that established a formal need for special education services was not passed until the mid-1970s. Thus, your school may have provided special education services without the formal documentation needed today. Also, many schools kept a formal record on each student that could be read and released to the proper people and a confidential record that contained any testing or evidence of a disability.
Most important to you is that when you request accommodations based on the ADA, you need evaluations that are not more than three years old. Thus, you will have to find out who does formal studies, known as psycho-educational evaluations, for adults with learning disabilities in your area. The professional who does these studies will help you document your disabilities as they relate to work.
(April 2009)
Can an exercise program aimed at re-patterning neuronal pathways help children learn to read better?
Dear Dr Silver:
I wanted to ask your opinion regarding a controversial treatment of learning disorders. My daughter's school has begun a program of using what I believe is an old technique (40 or so years) that was found not to have conceptual or scientific foundation in the treatment of learning disabilities. They're using an exercise program aimed at re-patterning the neuronal pathways. The claim is that by doing exercises and crossing the midline of the brain the child is able to learn to read better.
The school is not only having kids with LD do the exercises but the entire school. As an adult with a learning disability who believes exercise is extremely important for many reasons, I disagree with the use of an unfounded method of treatment. I believe it gives parents false hope, wastes precious time in the classroom, and takes away from time that could be used with proven methods. I know that the American Academy of Pediatrics has denounced such methods. I respect your knowledge and expertise and I wanted your opinion on whether you believe patterning is an effective treatment for LD.
Thanks for your input.
David Kalis, LCSW, Ph.D.
You are correct. This method - originally proposed by Doman and Delacado - has been long shown to be incorrect in the concepts proposed and not successful as a treatment. You will need help in approaching the school board. First, you might contact the American Academy of Pediatrics and request their position paper on this approach. Second, you might look through the chapter on "Controversial Therapies" in my book, The Misunderstood Child, Fourth Edition, published by Random House/Three Rivers Press.
(April 2009)
Our daughter is in preschool and doesn’t talk to anyone except us. How can we get her to open up?
Dear Dr. Silver,
My daughter is 4 years old and she does not speak to anyone except to us, her parents. She started going to preschool a little before age 3 and for nine months did not speak to the preschool teacher. We tried seeking help from the school district and they wanted to place her in a special program.
If she is with children who have disabilities, will she progress there? I am not sure that is the proper environment for her. I honestly think she needs more individual attention. Unfortunately, the preschool setting does not provide that. They usually have 24 kids with two teachers. What can I do in order to help my daughter open up, participate, and communicate with kids her age and other adults?
Please help.
Thank you,
Shirley
Your daughter has what is called selective mutism. There are several possible causes. Have her evaluated by a child and adolescent psychiatrist. The interventions needed will be based on the reasons for her behavior. Don't worry about the impact of one program or another on your daughter. Focus on the cause first.
(April 2009)
How can I get my daughter to stop procrastinating and do her homework without a fight?
I have a 12-year-old daughter who procrastinates terribly when she is supposed to be doing homework or studying and we are constantly threatening, bribing, reasoning with her to get her to do her work. She is often up late at night still doing it and we're always fighting. She frequently refuses when told to do things she doesn't want to do and I just can't make her.
Her behavior is so stressful to the rest of the family and we are all constantly on edge. How can I get her to complete her assignments without all the defiance and yelling? She is on Focalin and is a good student (with a lot of our badgering to do her work).
Please stop the arguing, bribing, threatening, etc. It is not working and does not work. Shift your focus to why she is acting this way rather than trying to make her change. I have yet to meet a 12-year-old who really wanted to fail or to disappoint his/her parents. There must be a reason and it is your job to find out what it is.
For example, I assume she is on Focalin because she has ADHD. If she takes the medication in the morning, it has probably worn off by about 4 or 5pm. Could this be a reason she struggles at night? Second, if she has ADHD, there is a high likelihood that she also has learning disabilities. Has she been tested to see if she might? If not, do so.
The answer to your question is not to increase the consequences and hope she will change. The challenge is for you to find out why she is struggling and to address the reason. Have you ever sat down with her and said, "I know you don't like to do poorly in school and I know you don't want to disappoint us. Let's work together. Help me understand what is hard about doing the work. Let's figure out together what we can do to help you be more successful."
(April 2009)
I have a learning disability and suspect my 7-year-old daughter does, too. I want to get her tested but my husband thinks we should wait. What do you suggest?
My daughter is 7 years old and young for her second grade class. As a past special education teacher, I am pretty sure I have a learning disability (never formally diagnosed) and I'm pretty sure my daughter has one, too. She struggles in school. And after reading the information on visual processing, this seems to fit my daughter and me perfectly.
We've seen her problems increase since preschool - difficulty with writing, flipping of letters (I still do this!), finding relevant information in reading, writing quickly, and judging distances. Teachers have noticed her problems but have always brushed them off because she is young. My husband wishes to wait to see how she does in three years.
My problem is that I know how hard school was for me and I don't want my daughter going through the same thing. To make things more complicated, she also has strabismus (a vision condition in which the eyes are misaligned) and juvenile diabetes. Should I push to have her tested at the very least? Or wait as my husband suggests? Thanks!
Your daughter has real problems and needs help now. Your history only reinforces this fact. Try to explain to your husband that the "wait until she fails" tactic not only delays getting her the help she needs now but does a real number on her self-esteem. (If this does not work, get a copy of my book, The Misunderstood Child: A Guide for Parents of Children With Learning Disabilities, and ask that he read it.)
She needs a formal assessment that might include psychological, educational, and occupational therapy testing. These data will clarify the areas of difficulty and the types of interventions needed.
Don't give up. Push for a formal assessment to clarify her areas of difficulty and the types of services needed. If you are not successful with the school and you cannot afford private testing, seek a private educational consultant to advise you on your rights.
(April 2009)
What can you do if you suspect the child you're advocating for has a learning disability but the school refuses to test?
Hello and thank you for such a wonderful resource! I am a former teacher and school psychologist. I'm currently providing supplemental reading instruction and trying to advocate for my second grade niece.
She has a long history typical of a child with a specific learning disability or dyslexia. Her language development was slow, particularly with regard to articulation. Letter and number recognition was difficult and her general phonemic awareness still has not been mastered in spite of consistent and systematic reading instruction for the past six months. She has trouble expressing herself with the appropriate vocabulary and word sequence.
When she reads, besides the usual misread words, she still confuses b and d and she often substitutes synonyms for words (i.e. house for home, mom for mother, dumb for stupid, etc.). Independent homework completion is impossible because she cannot read the directions accurately.
She was retained in kindergarten and now is receiving extra small-group reading instruction at school three times a week. Even so, the school has yet to initiate communication or collaboration with her mother or me. The only reason we knew about the extra reading group was because it was mentioned during parent/teacher conferences.
When her mother asked if it might be time to refer her for a special education evaluation, they said she could request it but probably wouldn't get it because her daughter's problems aren't that bad. I'm concerned that all the help my neice has received will ultimately prevent her from qualifying for special education because the school only uses the discrepancy model (and she may be too young to show a significant discrepancy).
Is it enough that a student's mother and advocate suspect the presence of a disability to get the special education evaluation? I've worked in three different states and never heard of a school denying a parent request for an initial evaluation.
Also, can I, as her advocate, make the case from the vantage point of Response to Intervention that she has a learning disability? Or should we stop helping her and let her fall further behind in order to access the services she needs at school? We cannot afford a private evaluation and because I'm not currently employed, I don't think they are going to take my opinion too seriously. I hope you can help!
First, please do not stop helping her. She should not have to experience any more pain than she is experiencing already. I suspect that she is in a school system that waits until the child fails third grade before they do any testing. Why? As you mentioned, they use a discrepancy formula to determine if a student has a learning disability. And, the student has to have failed third grade before he/she is far enough behind to meet this discrepancy. I hate this "wait until you fail before we will evaluate or formally help" you strategy.
Have her parents send a formal letter to the principal requesting a meeting to discuss their daughter's academic difficulties. This request must be in writing. The principal must schedule the meeting within 30 calendar days. The principal, appropriate school professionals, the teacher, and parents should attend this meeting. (You can come as well.) At this meeting, her parents should formally request testing to find out why their daughter is struggling. If the school agrees - great. These studies will be done and then shared with the parents.
If they do not agree to do testing at this time, have the parents say, "This decision is not acceptable to us. We wish to have the minutes of the meeting reflect that we do not agree. And, we would like to be informed of our right to appeal this decision." The school must comply with these requests. Prior to seeing someone within the appeal process, seek help from a private educational consultant on what to say.
Good luck. Your niece is very lucky to have you for her aunt.
(April 2009)
I have LD and ADHD and struggle to regulate my emotions. Could I have Asperger’s Syndrome, too?
My name is Rachel and I am 23 years old. I was diagnosed with combined-type ADHD and a learning disability when I was 8.
As a child, I had a delay in fine and gross motor skills, I had trouble expressing my emotions, trouble communicating with others, and threw constant, severe tantrums when I didn't get my way or for no reason. During these severe tantrums, I would slam myself on the ground kicking and screaming, and I would rock and bang my head. I also did not know how to make friends or keep them.
As an adult, I have been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and depression. Do you think I have Asperger's Syndrome, too?
Rachel: I am so pleased to hear you describe your problems. All too often, I see young adults who spend all of their time blaming others for their difficulties. You are correct. Something is not right in the way you regulate your emotions. Plus, there are other learning problems.
What you describe does not sound like Asperger's. If you have not done so as an adult, ask to see a psychiatrist for a comprehensive assessment. (Even though you are an adult, you might find that a child and adolescent psychiatrist would be best. These professionals are trained to work with adults as well. And, they are more likely to know about the types of difficulties you describe.) Don't give up until you have answers and a treatment plan to help you.
(April 2009)
How do we help a kindergartner who cannot complete assignments independently and gets distracted easily?
Dear Dr. Silver,
I have a 5-year-old son that is in kindergarten. Prior to this year, he attended some daycare but never attended pre-k.
We have been experiencing problems with his learning. His teacher complains to us everyday that he does not complete his assignments in class. She has shown my husband the packets they need to do in class and his are blank. I have noticed that if I sit down with him, he will finish the work. However, if he does not have supervision he gets distracted.
This happens consistently. Please tell me your suggestions on what to do. I am very concerned about his learning ability. He is a normal child - he communicates normally and understands my instructions when it comes to home duties. But when it comes to school he does not seem to get it.
Thanks
Malena
Ask to meet with the principal of the school. Explain your concerns and the comments from his teacher. Request that the principal assign the school psychologist or other school professional to observe your son and to talk with the teacher.
Then, ask that the principal, this professional, and the teacher meet with you to discuss their ideas on why he is having difficulty. (If you make this request to the principal in writing, the principal must respond and schedule this meeting within 30 calendar days.) Don't accept a no or a "let's wait until the end of the school year." If you hear this, seek help from a private educational consultant.
(April 2009)
What can we do for a bright ninth grade student who does not qualify for services but is failing most of his classes?
We have a 15-year-old that has been tested through the school system two times and all they seem to come up with is immaturity. We have consulted with a child psychologist who thought, after reviewing his prior evaluations, our son may have a problem with his executive thought process. Because of insurance issues we could not continue with the psychologist.
We have turned back to the school district. They are in the process of evaluating him again for the third time.
Our son is thoughtful, caring, and loving, and he is a self-taught percussionist. He loves to play the drums and the African djembi. He plays amazingly well! He loves to write poetry and song lyrics. I think he is quite gifted. But he can't make it in school.
He's in 9th grade and only passed English and Gym. He tries very hard and when he fails he tends to give up. He says "Mom why do I have to try so hard?" Please help us with a suggestion on what we can do for him. Where should we turn next?
Thank you,
Anne
Dear Anne: I feel for you. Your son sounds like he has difficulties. The important question is why. If he only passed English in his current grade, this means that he failed at least four other major subjects. You are correct. You do need to find out why.
Here is what I suggest: First, clarify with your school professionals what testing they plan to do. At a minimum, these studies should include an IQ test (usually the Wechsler) and a battery of educational testing. If they do not plan to do this, ask why. Second, request that you receive a copy of the results of these studies before you meet with the school to discuss them. You need to review the results with an educational consultant. It is important to learn what is going on and to rely on other inputs.
If you cannot find a consultant on your own, contact the Learning Disabilities Association of America and get the name and phone number of your closest chapter. (go to www.ldaamerica.org - click on your state for the state chapter then look for information on your closest chapter).
Don't give up on your son. Best of success.
(April 2009)
Our second-grade daughter is struggling with depression and ADHD. What do we do?
I have a 7-year-old girl who is in second grade and struggling. She was diagnosed with Adjustment Depression and ADHD last March. She was treated for depression with an SSRI and counseling. She is currently on an ADHD medication and has stopped the depression meds. The counseling was stopped this fall because her counselor could see no reason to continue.
We have struggled since she started school. She is a very strong-willed little girl who knows a lot more than what she is willing to show us or the teachers. Her work at school fluctuates from day to day. She can do the work with ease one day and then struggle the next with the same work. Her teachers are as perplexed as I am. I have tried many different things for her such as Hooked on Phonics, Sylvan, special tutoring at school, and working with her in different ways at home. The things we try seem to make an impact the first couple of weeks but then she no longer is interested in them and does not want to participate. There seems to be a battle of wills.
How do we go about finding the thing that will allow my daughter to be as bright as we know she is without traumatizing her or bringing back the depression and making things worse? Her teachers feel she should continue counseling. They are disagreeing with the diagnosis of ADHD even though we went through several hours of testing. I fear that if she is held back (which I am thinking may be next) that she will be traumatized from this and will not recover.
Her social skills are lacking. She avoids crowds and does not warm up to people like a typical 7-year-old. She would much rather play with younger kids and avoid group activities. She has no problems making new friends as long as it is just her and the other child. Could her social behavior be contributing to her academic behavior and, if so, how do we go about making changes?
Your questions and concerns are on target. You need to find out more about why your daughter is struggling. It is possible that her depression was the result of her frustrations and difficulties at school. Once some of these were addressed, her depression went away.
If you feel that you are not getting the answers you need from her school professionals, you might have to seek help from others. First, meet with the person who did the hours of testing to conclude that your daughter has ADHD. Discuss your concerns with this professional. Why is she struggling in school? Why is she inconsistent? Were there any test results that might suggest that she has a learning disability or is at risk for such a disability? Discuss the fact that her school staff do not agree with the diagnosis of ADHD and ask for help in responding to the teachers.
If these efforts do not help, seek a private special education consultant who can review all of the records and testing (by school and privately) and advise you on what is best to do.
One added thought: Many professionals within the school and private sector use a guideline for diagnosing someone as having a learning disability. They must be significantly behind expected grade level. If a student is in second grade and a year behind, he or she might be shown to have difficulties, but the degree of deficit is not great enough to use the formal term learning disabilities. Discuss this theme with both school and private professionals. Challenge them by asking, “Are you saying that I have to wait until she fails third grade before you can identify her as having a disability?”
(April 2009)
How can I parent a 5-year-old with multiple diagnoses?
What should I do with my 5-year-old child? He has been tested and the people who did the testing told us that he has early warning signs of dyslexia, an undeveloped central nervous system, and the fine motor skills of a 2-year-old. They haven't told us what to do or how to parent such a child. He goes to an occupational therapist two times a week for the fine motor problems.
Unfortunately, he is also having severe temper tantrums at school and at home. He won't sleep by himself. He has issues going to the bathroom. If I am not home, he goes in his pants. I just want somebody to either let me know these issues are normal in kids his age or what I can do to parent a child with severe emotional outbursts all day. I am exhausted and afraid I have him in the wrong learning environment. Please give me some insight if you could.
I can appreciate your concerns and frustration. What you describe is not normal. You need to act. First, it will be important to fully understand what learning, language, and/or motor problems he has. With this information, it might be possible to find professionals to improve the areas of weakness and to advise you on ways to help him. These studies might be done by your school professionals. Since he is five, you should discuss the need for such assessments with the principal of your local public school. Or, you might have the studies done privately. Without this information, it is difficult to know how best to help your child.
(April 2009)
How can I get an accommodation at work for my difficulty with handwriting?
I'm a 28-year-old male and am currently a head of department at a school of media and design. I suffer from a form of dysgraphia (at least I think that's what it is) in that I have terrible handwriting. I actually draw the shape of the word rather than spell it out (my spelling is terrible) and I cannot control the placement of capital and lowercase letters if I write by hand (though with a keyboard I don't have a problem).
I've recently enrolled in an advanced assessors course where all the work submitted has to be hand-written. It takes me hours to write out a single page, which is then only mostly illegible. And although each sentence starts with a capital letter, extra capitals crop up throughout the sentence.
I just wanted to know if there is a specific name or diagnosis for this so that I can plead my case.
Thanks in advance,
Guy
Guy:
You need appropriate accommodations — possibly permission to use a computer to write responses. First, you must document your motor-based writing disability. This can be done by a psychologist who does psycho-educational testing. Once documented, you are entitled under the Americans with Disabilities Act to such accommodations.
Meet with the Office of Disability Services at the institution you are attending. Explain your problem. Possibly, they can arrange for such studies. If not, they can direct you to the right person to do this assessment.
(March 2009)
What is a good reaction for a parent to have when the school wants the child tested and they are not sure it is a good idea?
Today at a parent teacher conference, my second grader's private school is suggesting psycho-educational testing due to his behavior issues in class and want us to meet with their resource teacher and principal. They report that he sometimes refuses to do work, talks out of place, and doesn't listen. In essence, he has a bit of an attitude — which, of course, we address at home through consequences for poor behavior and rewards for positive behavior. The negative behaviors were evident in kindergarten and first grade, but seem to be improving each year. I thought these improvements meant he was simply growing up.
I am concerned about their request for testing at this point. He is a straight A student with a history of excellent grades, can sit still, can focus in spite of distractions, and has a rich social life. I am worried that the school is “jumping” to test him out of frustration as he makes them work a little harder. They have not suggested that he is “gifted” and in need of more challenging work.
I suspect many school personnel push for diagnosis and medication to make their job easier, and believe many children are unnecessarily diagnosed and medicated in this country. I fear a label and a diagnosis for my son that will hurt him rather than help him. I want to tread carefully, while respecting the schools opinion. I simply want what's best for my son. I intend on having an independent evaluation — not with the professional the school recommends. What advice can you offer me?
May I start with your comment that you want what is best for your son. I also believe that his teacher and principal also want what is best for your son. This shared desire needs to be the starting point. Sit down with them and listen to their concerns. You mention that he has had similar problems since kindergarten; thus, if the school professionals are concerned again this year, something needs to be clarified. Ask questions about what they are observing in class. Share what you are seeing at home. Try to find common ground on what the current concerns are and think through with them why these concerns might exist.
I believe that behavior is a message. Our task is to find out what message your son is sending. Why does he show an attitude? Why does he sometimes refuse to do his work? Why might he talk out of place or not listen? Where are his academic skills now as compared to where they should be? Try not to be defensive. Listen. Think about their concerns. Raise your questions: “Is he gifted and bored? Are you not setting consequences for his behaviors?”
At the end of this meeting, try to plan next steps. Maybe they will try additional efforts and meet again in month. Maybe you will agree to studies to clarify why he is having difficulty. If testing is done, ask to meet again after the results are available to discuss the results and to plan any needed interventions.You and the school professionals share a concern about your son. Don’t react in frustration or misread their intentions. Do what we teach our kids. Sit down and talk.
(February 2009)
Does my inattentive disorganized teenage son have ADHD?
My question or questions concern my son who is now 15. He has had struggles his entire tenure as a student thus far. His teachers say that he is to often off of the task at hand. He tells me he has trouble concentrating at times. Having him sit by himself is very little help in terms of him not getting distracted. I had him tested four years ago for ADD and he doesn’t seem to be a ADHD candidate because he has no problem staying still, with the exception of his concentration problems. He gets good grades at times and then it seems at testing time he fails. Teaching methods attribute to some of it, but not all.
He is very disorganized and even if I take the time to get him set-up to be organized (i.e. notes), he often gets classes mixed up. This leaves him with a result of mixed-up paperwork that needs to be deciphered for determining which notebook it goes in. The doctor who gave him the test years ago said that the results were such that he didn’t think he was ADD or ADHD and that he would probably always be a high maintenance student. He is now a freshman struggling and I cant help but feel he is slipping through the cracks. He does not cause problems, although when he is off task and tries to socialize during class, it can cause additional distraction for his teachers. Please advise on where I should go from here.
Thanks,
Harold
Your son is fortunate to have a father who cares and is concerned. Your worries are appropriate. How would a 15-year-old reflect that he might have ADHD? First, he would have difficulties with activity level, ability to attend, or with impulsivity. For adolescents, we often also find problems with organization and with time planning. You describe him as distractible and inattentive. He is also disorganized.
The second step in establishing the diagnosis of ADHD is to show that the identified behaviors have been present since early childhood (chronic) and that they occur in most life situatiions (pervasive. I believe that you describe such a chronic and pervasive pattern. Finally, you need to show that these behaviors are having a significant impact on areas of his life — home, school, peers. The answer again is yes.
Based on your description, your son seems to have ADHD. I encourage you to see a physician who is knowledgeable about ADHD. If my impression is correct and he does have ADHD, treatment will make a significant difference.
(February 2009)
What do parents do when they don't agree about how to handle a struggling child?
I am in desperate need of help or guidance. I have a beautiful 12-year-old who has always really struggled in school. This year has been the worst academically. I don't think her Catholic school has any resources to help kids who struggle. Her SAT/reading test scores have always been low. She tends to have difficulty remembering small tasks. She runs out of time taking tests. Therefore, they are incomplete. The quality of homework is poor and sentences she writes are usually incomplete and/or misspelled. She also has difficultly meeting timeframes.
She has seen a counselor in the past and was tested for ADD/ADHD with negative results. My heart goes out to her because her self-esteem is at an all-time low and I have sat with her many nights watching her cry. She’s usually doing homework until 10:30 at night (we get home at 5:00pm) and I am usually in bed by midnight after I correct it. I write her sticky notes daily to remember to do things. I feel so helpless as a parent because she works twice as hard with poor results.
Her struggles not only occur at school, but even at home. We feel we have to follow her around to ensure she does her daily chores. It just seems that everything with her is last minute or halfway done. She is such a beautiful girl, but gets teased by other girls and does not know how to handle confrontation. On the flip side, she is extremely artistic with oil paints and art. She gets A’s in her Spanish class. She loves soccer and performs hula and she is excellent at both.
This problem has affected my marriage. My husband and I find that we don't spend enough time together because we spend so much time helping her with school homework and our marriage has taken it's toll. I feel as if we are doing her homework for her. I am just so perplexed with my daughter. There are times that she seems so confident with school, then fails every test there are other times where she goes above and beyond what is expected. We have spent hundreds of dollars on a tutor and want to get her in touch with a counselor.
My husband is at a point where he thinks she is just hitting puberty and that she is very lazy. He says when things don't go well she just quits. I disagree with her being lazy and feel as a parent, I need to be able to help her or get help for myself to help her. I always tell her, “I will not quit on you and you shouldn't, either.” She has told me that I didn't think she would ever make it to college. That broke my heart because I think the stress of this has taken it's toll and my actions are very negative. Any advice you can give to a mom who is willing to do whatever it takes to help her child is greatly appreciated.
Mrs. Mitchell
Please, Mr. And Mrs Mitchell, sit down together and read my response to your question. When our children have problems, the easiest first reply is to our frustration is to look for someone to blame — the kid, teachers, the school, your spouse. “She is just lazy…not motivated…too dependent on mom.” I understand this reaction. Your child is frustrated and having difficulty with life and school. You love your child and share this frustration.
You have a beautiful 12-year-old daughter who is probably as miserable as you two are. She does not understand why she has problems any more than you do. She needs help and this help must come from both of you. You cannot afford to waste energy struggling with each other about what to do. You must unite and focus your energy on helping your daughter.
I don’t know if she has ADHD or a learning disability or both, but your descriptions suggest both. Your first steps must focus on clarify if she has one or both of these problems. Only then can you focus your energy on making sure that she gets the necessary help. The issue is not why mother has to spend so much time helping your daughter, making father upset. The issue is why your daughter is having so much difficulty that she needs someone to read with her, think through what she has to write, or help her organize herself and her materials. No, it is not puberty. She has had these problems for a long time.
She must be evaluated for a possible learning disability. She shows possible problems with reading comprehension and definite suggestions of problems with spelling and possibly with other writing skills. She might have problems organizing her thoughts when she writes. She also shows problems with organization and with time planning. This evaluation is done through formal psychological and educational testing. Your daughter is in a private school; however, as tax payers, you are entitled to such studies through your public school. Discuss how to make this request with the Head of her private school. The test results will clarify if she has a learning disability and, if she does, what help and accommodations she will need.
I do not read any suggestion of possible ADHD. I would do the testing first. Should the results suggest ADHD, she would be evaluated for this later. Again, the most important thing both mom and dad share is your love for your daughter. This love must unite you to focus on your daughter’s pain and how to help her. There is no time to waste energy blaming each other.
God bless and good luck.
(February 2009)
What is the relationship between Auditory Processing Disorder and ADD?
My fourteen-year-old son has ADD and APD. He’s currently on medication, but does not seem to help. Could the APD keep the medication from working?
Gina
Gina,
The Auditory Processing Disorder will not interfere with the medications used for ADHD (ADD). The question is whether what is seen as inattention is truly ADHD (ADD) or a reflection of his Auditory Processing Disorder. If it is the latter, medication will not help. Speech-language therapy will.
(January 2009)
What can you do about programs that say they help LD, but lack evidence that they succeed?
I am concerned about programs like Brain Gym and Bal-A-Vis-X, which claim to be beneficial for children with learning disabilities, ADHD, behavioral disorders, and a whole host of other problems. These programs are being implemented in schools without a shred of controlled research to document such claims. Can anything be done to stop them?
I share your concern. The definition of a “controversial therapy” is either that: (1) there is no evidence to support the concept; (2) there is clear evidence to show that the concept does not work; or, (3) the concept is being used for financial gain before there is research to validate that the concept is correct. I believe that the programs you refer to fit definitions 1 and 3.
The problem is that if a parent has a child with a disability, he or she is vulnerable to anyone who says they can help or fix their child. Such parents are at risk for spending time and money and for putting their child through programs that will not accomplish what is stated. The organizations will not change. The best hope is to educate parents and to remind them, “the buyer beware.”
(January 2009)
How can I help an ADHD child with "sluggish cognitive tempo?"
After extensive testing by various places, my son has been diagnosed by a psychologist with ADHD-PI and sluggish cognitive tempo. He has just started taking band and playing the flute. Band is held at the end of the day when the other students have a study hall. As expected, he is having difficulty finishing tasks and tests in class.
The teachers want me to withdraw him from band to give him extra time to finish these things. He wants to continue band. He does not have an IEP yet. I am waiting for the written report from the psychologist to schedule an appointment with the counselor. The school tells me that with ADHD he does not qualify for additional resources.
Is sluggish cognitive tempo considered a learning disability? Will the diagnosis qualify him for additional resources, such as a resource teacher or just an IEP? Should I withdraw him from band and make him concentrate on academics or should I insist that the school make other accommodations to allow him to finish his unfinished assignments?
It appears that the school has done formal testing, called psycho-educational testing. These data should clarify why he has “sluggish cognitive tempo.” The most frequent causes are weaknesses in what is called processing speed or in what is called working memory. If these are the reasons, targeted special education tutoring should help.
You are correct — ADHD is not a disability under education law, thus, an IEP will not be done. ADHD can be considered under what is called a “504 Plan” and would include some assistance, such as the study hall.
Your options: You might let him stay in the band and provide a private special education tutor to work on his areas of difficulty. If formal psycho-educational testing has not been done, you might request that the school do these studies (or have them done privately).
(January 2009)
What should a parent do with an ADHD first grader who hates school?
I have a six-year old son who was diagnosed with ADHD. He started first grade this year and we have hit a wall. He has told me that he hates school and he is very reluctant to let me go in the mornings. He is a very active child and has a very volatile temper. What can I do to help ease him into the new routine of first grade?
If your son has ADHD, is he being treated for this disorder? Without treatment, he might be hyperactive, inattentive, and impulsive in school. Since about 50 percent of children with ADHD also have learning disabilities, it will be important that you request that he be evaluated for this possibility.
Maybe his behaviors are due to frustration. Discuss your concerns with the principal. Ask for a meeting to discuss how to help your son. At this meeting, request that further studies be done. His behaviors are a loud red flag that he is hurting. You must find out why. Is it untreated ADHD? Is it unrecognized LD? Or, is it something else?
(December 2008)
What do you do when a child just gives up?
I have a question about how to handle my son's attitude. He is a very caring boy with a big self esteem problem. He only puts out half effort in school and in sports, due to deciding ahead of time that he does not fit in or can not do it. I need a positive way of handling this with him, knowing he has consequences of his actions. He has a learning disorder in language arts and ADHD. I'm not sure of what help to give him. I just hate to see him falling in a depression.
You must clarify why your son is so discouraged that he appears to have given up. If he has ADHD and a learning disability and if he has not been fully treated for one or both of these serious disabilities, the behaviors and attitudes you see may be a result of his feelings of frustration and failure. His poor self-image and low self-esteem concern me as well.
First, meet with the professionals who are working on his ADHD and LD and explore if each is fully addressed. If not, implement the needed help. Also, have him evaluated by a mental health professional who understands ADHD and LD. Act quickly before you lose him.
(December 2008)
