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Behavior: Social Skills, Self Esteem

Social cues


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Joined: Nov 03, 2005
Posts: 69140
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Posted Mar 26, 2004 at 9:38:25 PM
Subject: Social cues

My childs teacher made a comment to me, that my child is not recognizing social cues. Is this something that I should be concerned about??

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bgb
Joined Jun 13, 2003
Posts: 330

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Posted:Mar 27, 2004 3:53:10 PM

I would at least look into it. It might not matter as much in the early years but by middle school so much info is transferred non-verbally that this could make life rough for your child.

What did this teacher suggest? If your child is very young, setting up play groups may be enough. Also, many schools offer classes to children over recess or as a pull out where social cues are actually taught, rather then just letting the child more or less learn them on his or her own. As the child gets older, or if the problem is more pronounced, more dramatic messures can be taken. My 11 year old is...if you'll excuse the pun...clueless. He starts weekly one to one pull out where he will learn and practice reading social clues next week.

I wouldn't worry but I would ask when they can suggest.

Good luck

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bgb
Joined Jun 13, 2003
Posts: 330

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Posted:Mar 27, 2004 3:57:56 PM

Darn it! Thought of something else!

Depending on the age of your child, there are books out there that parents can read to/or with thier child to reinforce social clues. Some of these books are just plan fun reads, not at all like a work book or anything! If you were to post this thread in the Parenting forums of this site or the bulletin board at scwabblearning.org I'm sure others would have suggestions. If you do repost, you may wish to add more details.

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mmm214
Joined Mar 25, 2004
Posts: 44

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Posted:Apr 07, 2004 12:31:49 AM

It never hurts to explore an issue in depth. My son was "immature" (at 3!!) and his extremely insensitive and grumpy teachers called him "odd" and "a pest." (I'm a teacher who works with LD kids; there are so many other words you can use to raise a red flag.) After WHIPPING him out of that awful school we took their advice and did have him evaluated. He has mild-moderate sensory processing difficulties which sometimes came out as boundary issues. We also learned how to help him cope now, about some very real strengths and about areas he may have some trouble with in the future. We were also very reassured by the professionals who looked at him when we started to get crazy about the socialization stuff, which is very easy to do.

Knowledge really is power, for reassurance if nothing else. Of course, you may catch something that's subtle and get it treated to head off any future problems.

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Jocat
Joined Mar 07, 2006
Posts: 13

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Posted:Mar 14, 2006 10:59:41 AM

I was told the other day from our son K teacher that the other children are constently telling/asking him Are you listening? Do you understand? and your to hard to talk to. it is really affecting him at school more . our family and friends don't seem to notice it though. I told this to the neuorpsy and was told that he notices that J doesn't seem to be picking up on the non verbal cues of a conversation.......it's more like he is trying to understand and watch your lips and mouth so intently that he forgets that he is in a conversation.....now you through him in a room with his sisters or cousins and they can play trains and roll play and never miss a beat whether it is wall to wall barbie, house, school.puzzles, monopoly.......the Neuoropsy is wanting to start him on Straterra, finding mixed veiws on that subject so far ,but I am still waiting to receive his report from a few weeks back on why he beleive this will help. I have J in an after school Power hour with the church on Mon and we go to the park on Fri mostly cause there are more children there then and He wanted to enroll in the music program that strats next week through the school it is an after school thing for hour 1/2 so maybe all this can help us. His K teacher was also telling me that J was tending to lean towards the more verbal children in his class which she was curltailing alot of it because she did not feel he needed that type of influence....not that they are "bad" just that they need alot of guidence to be sure to do the right things ....... the neuorpsy told me that this would tend to increase if his problems were not being addressed as they are for the main reason because they more verbal the little boys are and loud the better J picks up on the non verbal body language and "hears" him better.J is the only child his teacher says that B does not bully and they tend to have no problems..her main concern is that B has a more difficult life at this time and is getting worse and as well as they treat each other J tends to follow and she wants to curltail their time together until B gets undercontrol of his emtions better.....at the same time trying not to let them feel this , becuase they also help each other....J tends to be in the middle of the adults rather than off playing with children at cook outs and birthday parties ..big table at family functions kind of thing .I think it is because we take the time to listen to him .he is very describtive if he cannot think of a word or remember what something is called. anyone have ideas?

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RJSMOM
Joined May 08, 2006
Posts: 1

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Posted:May 08, 2006 10:21:05 PM
Subject:Social cues

HELP! MY SON IS ADHD AND A LONER-ALWAYS HAS BEEN. HE CAN PLAY WITH ONE PERSON AT A TIME ONLY FOR A LITTLE WHILE,BUT THEN WANTS TO BE ALONE. HIS TEACHERS SAY HE HAS TO COME AROUND AND BE SOCIAL-THAT MAY BE TRUE- BUT HOW CAN YOU FORCE A ADHA-GIFTED(130)-INVENTIVE LONER TO COMPLY WITH THE "NORM" AND BE A SOCIAL BUTTERFLY? OUR TOWN IS SMALL AND THEY BELIEVE IN BEING VERY SOCIAL.

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victoria
Joined Jun 13, 2003
Posts: 1784

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Posted:May 09, 2006 1:21:56 AM
Subject:Social cues

Many kids are loners and do well. Smile and tell the teachers you are working with him, and talk to your child about how to get along with people. Being intelligent, he can learn the rules in the abstract and apply them analytically.

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Joan
Joined Apr 28, 2006
Posts: 44

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Posted:May 11, 2006 9:29:05 PM
Subject:Social cues

Here is my opinion and I am not alone. I see it everywhere and I am using it in my home. It is working, working, let me repeat WORKING!

Socialization is a neurological process. Let me repeat socialization is a neurological process. We cannot socialize if we do not have the neurological ability to do so. I know ... it's a shocker. But just think about it. If you put an autistic child into a room full of age-typical children for years, does that child begin to socialize. NO! Because autistic children lack the neurological ability to socialize. If it was true that social skills purerly stems from socialization then every autistic child would be cured from just exposing them to "normal" children. Yes you do need socializatio but you first need the ability so that socialization can grow and develop. A horse can't run if it doesn't have legs!

Even "normal" children lack ability to some degree. Severe children are labelled autistic (also because of speech issues) and mild cases are labelled "outsiders".

YOU CAN CHANGE THE SOCIALIZATION PROCESS BY FIGURING OUT THE CORE ABILITY THAT IS MISSING AND THEN FIX IT.
There are several books, centers and even courses that can guide you. I have heard the best reports from RDI.
http://www.rdiconnect.com/
One father, who is using their techniques only 30 minutes a day at home, I talked to is getting terrific results. He just read the books.
There is also ABA and other but RDI really seems to be the most popular. (My copies of the RDI books are on their way in the mail.)

Buy the books off ebay or second-hand. It is worth the small price if you can help your child feel happier about him/herself when in social situations. If you don't feel RDI is for you, explore other options.


Joan

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