Anyone please-struggling with treatment, HELP

I would like to know if anyone else ever feels this way. I am struggling so much with treatment. I feel that the therapist I was assigned seems like my enemy. He is not considerate. He talks down to me. I have no say, feel unheard. After spilling my guts out to him, mistake #1, he was fixated on me signing releases on the next visit. I did not want to sign all of them. I had spoken of times in my past where I had sought help. He wanted all these places, talking years!. I said ok to six out of eight and he was ready to cancel me out as a willing candidate. That is wrong I think. I said, hey I know myself pretty well, been dealing without tx for all my life because no one would listen and now when I finally pushed doors down to get the right help, it is not feeling OK. I am so upset. I feel that limited finances is making me a victum of a system that is not up to things. He is not therapeuitc. I would not be upset if I felt supported but this feels like everything else in my life-'>you do as I say or you lose' Why is it that I am never complimented for defending my self. Why is the system always advocating-verbally for you to take charge, be responsible but when you are they rip it away and act like you are not cooperating, or worse yet, act like you are a total nut case. I am not. I am going through a horrible time in my life. I need support but not this sort of abusive stuff. Am I just going through this because I am learning disabled? Why does everyone reject me? I cannot take it. I want a normal chance at life somehow. Please tell me anyone is this abnormal of me to feel so angry?

Hello to all! I have been reading posts for a couple of weeks now trying to learn all I can but what I have learned from you all most is that we are all so much alike! I am hoping someone can offer me some advice in regards to my situation(maybe you have even been in my shoes?); Anyway; I would be most grateful if anyone could throw their ideas my way. Here's the problem:

I am a Medicaid Carolina Access patient & I have been in treatment for the past 17 years(since age 16) for anxiety/panic disorder. I was molested by my uncle for several years as a very young child and one of my doctors from the past diagnosed me with PTSD. I was on Zanax for 10 years and then Valium for the past 7 years. I have tried every anti- depressant known to man or woman with no success! I thought I would drown in my own depression. I started college but could not finish for paralyzing fear of failure. I have NEVER been able to hold down a job for longer than 6 months because when I get fed up I blow my "short fuse!"
Here's were it gets interesting: After being divorced from my husband for 3 years due to his prescription opiate addiction he came to me begging for help with his addiction. He is my sons' father so I naturally agreed to try to help him. After alot of research, prayer and an email written to a detox clinic in Florida my prayers were answered. The doctor called & asked us to come down. After evaluating my Ex they informed him that he had ADHD & had been using the opiates to self-medicate himself for his severe ADHD!! WOW!!!!!!!!! This doctor really knew his stuff because I tried to get him clean for 6 years and so far he has gone for 2 months clean! Yaeeeh!!
So; they put him on Adderral & told me that it is critical that he not run out because it could cause him to relapse. When we got back here to the mountains of NC from Florida Detox I started researching this adult ADHD & OH MY GOD!!!!!!!! Guess what I found guys? MY LIFE, ...my mannerisms, my ways & habits in black & white in every article, test and research article! I always thought I was crazy or inadequate & very different than everyone else. I believe with all my heart that this is what's wrong with me so when I went to my OB/Gyn for some problems I was having I told him about my concerns.
The doctor put me on Adderral that day and I have responded better to it than anything the doctors have tried for the past 17 yrs! My BIG problem is this: I live in the mountains/foothills of NC. The doctors around here act like I really am crazy when I tell them what I think(know) the problem is! All doctors here are very uneducated about Adult ADHD and espescially ADHD in women! My shrink acts like she has never even heard of adult add/adhd!! (lol) I have a ton of print outs, tests I have taken and posts that all point in the same direction. I am almost out of Adderral and would like to know if anyone knows a doctor in NC that has the ability to properly diagnose and help me?? I would just go back to my OB/gyn who gave me Adderal the first time but his assistant called me last week & said he couldn't write me Adderal again becasue he is a specialist in another field.

So; I have finally found a medicine that I respond positively to. For the first time in my life I don't feel crazy, stupid, lazy, slobbish, packrat, etc. AND what happens? I can't find a doctor who even believes there is such a thing as adult ADHD & especially not in a woman ! No doctor = no diagnosis = no meds = the same path of self-destruction & depression! Please help if you can!
Thank you to you all for helping me learn & learn to live for the first time!
Tina