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Behavior: Social Skills, Self Esteem

Son's social issues


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Joined: Nov 03, 2005
Posts: 69140
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Posted Feb 02, 2005 at 11:27:34 AM
Subject: Son's social issues

My son is almost 6 & is in kindergarten. He is in speech & OT, although he has not been diagnosed with a particular learning disorder. He is a very sweet child & likes to play with other kids. Lately though, I have been concerned that he does not seem to interact with the other children in his class. He doesn't seem able to hold a conversation with them or initiate a social interaction. The teachers have said that he does talk with the kids, but with half of the school year over, I noticed that kids don't even say hi to him anymore (they used to).

On top of all this, my son is also rather passive & unable to retaliate verbally (given his speech issues, not a surprise). I sense that he is becoming a target for bullying. Among other incidents, one morning, kids blamed him for "always knocking down the blocks", quite unfairly (I saw the incident & although he did knock down a few accidentally, there were other kids knocking down more & then they blamed him!). I couldn't help but intervene, pointing out to one boy that he knocked some down himself & should not blame others, that these things happen accidentally, etc. But this is just one incident I observed in the morning, & I am obviously not in the position, nor should I be, to intervene on every incident that happens at school.

I am desperate to help my son, but how? We have told him to stand up for himself, to let his needs be known, etc. I feel that if I can help him while he's young (as in right now), it will help him in his later school years. But if this continues, he will most likely be isolated at school or a bullying victim. How can I help my son with his social/conversational skills as he gets older & social interactions become more complex? How can I prevent him from being a bullying target? Thanks for listening & thanks in advance for any advice!

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Anonymous
Joined Aug 29, 2014
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Posted:Feb 04, 2005 11:27:35 AM

I understand your situation completely with your son. I have a daughter with ADD she will be going into the high school next year. She is quite shy and we have coached her on standing up for herself and I'm proud to say that she has done a great job at it. I also encourage you NOT to get invovled in disaplining other children who are not nice to your son. I have many times fallen into this trap and it only makes it worse for your child. The kids tend to get meaner when there is parent involvement. Keep strong and give your son step by step instructions on how to deal with daily problems. It does get better. :P

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bgb
Joined Jun 13, 2003
Posts: 330

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Posted:Feb 04, 2005 2:27:43 PM

I wonder if social stories would work here?

I don't know much about them but you could do a search on it.

This forum gets very little traffic. You might want to repost in the parenting an child with LD forum even though you don't have a dx yet. Its a welcoming group and your post were probably get more responses.

Take care
Barb

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KarenN
Joined Jun 13, 2003
Posts: 548

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Posted:Feb 09, 2005 7:50:15 PM

My LD son had similar social problems in first grade, despite excellent expressive language abilities. He benefited from speech therapy and then a social skills group to work on his social use of language. He practiced initiating game playing , turn taking , small talk etc. Some of the other things you mention (reading the group, asserting himself appropriately) have taken longer to develop. We role play at home, and I have had to stay much more on top of his social life than you might think given that he's almost 11. But it does get better. With a 6 year old I'd definitely investigate if speech/langugae therapy can help him feel more comfortable in those situations.

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Anonymous
Joined Aug 29, 2014
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Posted:Feb 11, 2005 2:14:09 PM

Thanks for all your responses. We have been working with a speech therapist who is trying to work on conversational skills w/ him. I also bought a book "The Unwritten Rules of Friendship" which offered some advice to work on at home. I am still interested in looking at getting professional help as in a social skills group, but the challenge seems to be finding the right one.

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KarenN
Joined Jun 13, 2003
Posts: 548

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Posted:Feb 28, 2005 4:16:36 PM

Oh I just bought that book too! It looks great. I think I am going to tell my son fairly openly about what the book is about, b/c he 's old enough to know that he sometimes feels uncomfortable in social situations and he wants to have better skills.

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