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Behavior: Social Skills, Self Esteem

rude comments in the work place.


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Joined: Feb 20, 2005
Posts: 17
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Posted Feb 20, 2005 at 12:15:41 PM
Subject: rude comments in the work place.

such as "I can tell just by looking at you that you arn't that smart and didn't do to well in high school". It's statements like these that I've had to put up with from people in past jobs. What would posses someone to say something that cruel?

I'm not an aggressive person, I'm shy and keep to myself mostly. I do my job and go home that's it. But that's not enough for most people, they see that I'm an easy target, and feel that it's their duty say maliciouse things.

I hate having a low average iq!

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Anonymous
Joined Apr 25, 2014
Posts: 69140

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Posted:Feb 28, 2005 8:13:28 PM

I always find it's better to play their game not meaning to fight back or seem defensive which might make it worse. but you know who you are and what you're all about, so i wouldn't let somebodys else actions judge you. just play their game, make joke with it act like it don't effect you. and it will seem pointless to be even doing and shows you being more important then what some nobodys got to say.

peace1

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AnneV
Joined Apr 23, 2005
Posts: 86

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Posted:May 02, 2005 7:54:16 PM

Small minds talk about people

Average minds talk about things

Large minds talk about events


I have seen many different way this sayings has been written, but I think we all get its meaning

Our IQ is only a part of us. It does not determind the kind of person we will become to others. You sound like you have a big heart.

When my son gets teased, I always remind him that some people need to make other feel bad to make themselves feel better.

Teasers have low self-esteem. It is their way to boost themselves up. It is sad.

This may add fuel to the fire or not but if you are feeling brave the next time they said something mean- Tell them they sound sad and is there anything they would like to talk about with you. It may leave them speechless.

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cmdh
Joined May 02, 2005
Posts: 4

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Posted:May 03, 2005 9:23:00 AM

If you ask me your not the one with the low average IQ! :shock:

Your the one handling it like a mature adult by keeping to yourself and not stiring the pot. Grown ups should know better. comments like those I would expect in an 8th grade classroom

With that in mind I would hold my head high and know that you are better than that. You are the one that grew up and matured into a young adult. You are better rounded than the mouths are - they appear to be lacking in self confidance so they have to pick on someone to make themselves feel better.

BTW... you are somebody important!
:D

Proud MOM of highly intelligent 3.5yo girl. Neuro DX high-functioning Autism 4-21-05 suspect aspergers. Med DX - large tortuous colon, chronic const, leaky gut, intolerance to 13 foods, asthma, contact dermatitis

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William
Joined Dec 13, 2005
Posts: 5

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Posted:Dec 13, 2005 3:12:05 PM

Quote 3ccf150b48="nobodyimportant":

such as "I can tell just by looking at you that you arn't that smart and didn't do to well in high school". It's statements like these that I've had to put up with from people in past jobs. What would posses someone to say something that cruel?

Quote 3ccf150b48="nobodyimportant":

I'm not an aggressive person, I'm shy and keep to myself mostly. I do my job and go home that's it. But that's not enough for most people, they see that I'm an easy target, and feel that it's their duty say maliciouse things.

I had a similar experience recently... a (former) co-worker telling me that I can't talk because there is something wrong with my head (and, as usual, I was too tense to come up with a reply on the spot). Luckily, he was fired a few months later... mostly because of his utter rudeness when dealing with people.

Like you, I try to keep a low profile in the office. I show up everyday, on time, and mind my own business. I rarely tease people, partly because I think its pretty rude, but also because I certainly don't want to be targeted in that way.

Anyway... I still don't understand why a person would say such a thing. It's just plain rude... and besides that, even if it were true, so what? Whatever issues I may or may not have zero to do with my co-workers... if it's a problem at work, it's an issue for my boss.

Try not to let it bother you too much... there are a lot of jerks in the world who will look for any reason to give others a difficult time.

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shazi
Joined May 07, 2010
Posts: 1

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Posted:May 07, 2010 2:52:56 AM

ne should learn and practise the art of mood handling. Always try to be happy and calm.This would increase your productivity and It would make you more approachable. Try to cheer up your mood with exercise yoga and medidation.

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Mandi
Joined May 05, 2008
Posts: 424

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Posted:May 10, 2010 3:03:56 PM

Start documenting.

Make a few recordings of this crap if you can. Keep a log of days and times and what was said for a few months. See if you pretend you don't understand at all when they are vicious if you can get the statement directly from their hand in writing. For example, "Oh you are sooo dumb do you comprehend ANYTHING?!" Say to them, "I don't understand... But, if you will write it down for me, i might understand better... I understand better when things are written down for me." Collect it and keep it as evidence. Take everything you have collected and your log to your boss and inform them that if this isn't nipped in the butt you are going to file suit for harasment in the work place. Say you are not interested in causing trouble but you have put up with this for a long time in his/her office and it is enough already and say it makes you uncomfortable to come to work. Tell him if this continues you will sue him because you will not be able to attend the office due to the hostility and you will have to cover your rent somehow if you can not work for him/her in the position that you are maintaining with adequacy.

No one needs to put up with this BS. You can only be a victim in this life of 1 person. Yourself. You control exactly how much you are willing to take. When it is too much there are things you can do to protect yourself and there are systems you can take advantage of to help yourself. Or you can choose to be a victim.... Keep quiet carry on and suffer in silence. But then, don't complain that other people are causing you pain because the only one causing you pain is you.

People with disabilities are the most abused group in the world. It is so sad that so many of us live our lives believing that we are not worth fighting for.

You are worth fighting for whatever your IQ is or isn't. You are a human being. You deserve as you have committed no crime to be treated as a human being and not to have anyone dehumanize you with statements of cruelty related to your LD. But, if you don't take action... The next LD person will read this and they will get the message if they have your same issue at work, that people with LD including them are not worth fighting for.

You are worth it. If you are troubled, don't post about something like this that is so wrong on a message board for LD, gather some evidence and make a complaint about the harasment. You are not the one wrong here. They are. So, protect yourself, because no one else is going to protect you for you especially not if you allow them not to.

We teach people how to treat us. You have taught these people that they can do this. So time to start teaching them something else.

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iipmargie
Joined Oct 13, 2011
Posts: 3

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Posted:Apr 09, 2012 11:07:33 AM

This type of behavior is just an example of bullying in adults. There are adults who bully emotionally and use their power to threaten those under them instead of treating them with respect and kindness. They may be highly intelligent adults, but their people skills are lacking. And I agree, you are NOT nobody important!

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Marycv
Joined Jan 23, 2013
Posts: 13

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Posted:Feb 17, 2013 7:54:54 PM

I completely understand how you feel. Even when I encountered someone or use to go to college, people would be rude. It use to frustrate me how they put me down and don't care whose feelings they hurt. It doesn't matter if its a workplace or somewhere else, there will be people who are mean. I don't know why though. When someone is rude its best to ignore them. I find talking to a close friend, watch tv, listen to the radio, play with my dog, and join in activities make me feel better. It's best to find something to get your mind off of these things. Hope this helps.

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