There are so many things!
Rule number 1: "They" may be the educational experts but no one is a better expert on your child then YOU! If it doesn't seem to fit your child, ask, ask, ask.
You are an equal member of the IEP team.
It is the schools job to educate you about the process so that the best possible decisions are made. Don't be afraid to ask questions, don't be afraid to disagree, and don't sign anything you don't understand or agree with.
The IEP process is very legalistic. You and your child have rights. Learn what they are and use them.
Learn all you can about the process, your state laws, and the disabilities your child might have. The internet can be your friend here.
The schools have many, many things going on. Even with the best of intentions, your child is only one of many they deal with on a daily basis. YOU must be an active player in this process for you child.
Network with other parents...there are too many potholes. Use all the guides you can.
I was too passive in my first IEP meetings. I took things at face value. I didn't find out until two years later that the school made a calculation error and my child DID qualify for services. Two critical years were lost. I've learned to be a better advocate because my child needs me to be a better advocate.
Good luck on your booklet, Jennifer. How do you hope to get it distributed?
Barb