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Trying to determine how I can help myself...


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Joined: Jun 14, 2005
Posts: 4
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Posted Jun 14, 2005 at 1:04:34 AM
Subject: Trying to determine how I can help myself...

Hi, I am new to these forums, and hope that I am alright in making this kind of post...

I am a 23 year old male. I have always been an intelligent person, right from being a kid. I have always done well in IQ tests, usually scoring around 120-140 (although I struggle a wee bit in some certain types of tests).

However, I have never lived up to my potential at school or university. I am just about to finish my uni degree, after 5 and a half years (a year longer than it should have taken).


* I am a horrible procratinator. School study is the worst - I always seem to leave starting a project/essay/exam study until the very last moment to get it finished exactly by the deadline, at a level much below my potential. The harder I try to start it earlier, the worse I am - at this moment I am writing this because I just cannot force myself to study for my last ever exam, despite being in a Uni lab for a few hours. It makes me so angry :?

*I have always been a chronic under-acheiver at school and uni. I seem to have perfected the art of managing to score exactly enough to pass. This ties in with the previous comment. Despite this, I'm always complemented for my knowledge and stuff, I've always got mates contacting me to be on their quiz teams :D

* I have always been a brilliant speller, and a good writer. However, I always get caught up on silly wee errors - I often get "i" and "e" around the wrong way for example. I also often write a word, look at it, and think it just looks so incredibly wrong. The word I'm currently puzzling over is "choice" (it just looks so wrong as a word to me :?

* I have always had terrible handwriting. I can't write, I print, and it's embarrassing when people comment I have the handwriting of a 10 year old :) I also have always struggled with mathematics, and still often make simple calculations incredibly difficult for myself.

* I am incredibly disorganised. My bedroom has always been a pigsty - I actually find though that I find things better when things are just in massive untidy piles, than when I try and have things stored tidily. My parents have never understood that though :P I am also always running late for work, classes, dates, everything :)

* I always tend to automatically read things from back-to-front; it's really strange, I read magazine articles and things on the internet virtually in reverse. I've heard this can be due to learning disorders, however I've also heard it is a common male trait :)

*I have a terrible memory. This is something which kind of runs in the family, but I am getting worse and worse. I can never remember birthdays, even my own, and I have to do a calculation to figure out my own age (how I'll manage that when I'm 40 I don't know! :) And don't get me started about the time I forgot my Girlfriend's name ... :lol:

* I often can't think of a word when I am talking or writing, even though it could be a really obvious one.

* I really struggle with verbal commands. In fact, i often drift out of conversations, no matter how hard I try to concentrate. I definately learn a lot better by reading and doing rather than listening, but often I'll have to read something a number of times.

* I have always been a very well-behaved, polite, shy and quiet person. In the last couple of years, I have worked incredibly hard to get over my extreme shyness. I have been fortunate to have had a couple of nice girlfriends in the last couple of years - previously I couldn't even bring myself to talk to females - but have struggled with intimacy. I'm getting a bit better, maybe it's just what most guys go through in school when they start to date and stuff, and I'm 8 or so years late :)

* I had some health issues in my teens which had a big effect on my confidence and shyness. I've managed to get over most of these issues. I have also managed to turn my general attitude around hugely (damn can't think of a better word :P ). I used to be pretty miserable up until about 4 years ago, but know everyone comments on how great my attitude is and stuff. However, I still have annoying health problems, with skin/allergies the main complaints. I am a terrible sleeper as well.

* As far as I know, there is no history of known learning disorders in my family.


If you have read all of my post, I really truly salute you (sorry it was never meant to be this long). But I'm in a position where I should be about to finish my Uni phase of life, and don't know what to do next. I cannot figure out for the life of me whether I am just incredibly lazy and unmotivated, or if I have some problem that i should try and do something about. I am far too scared to simply go to a doctor and have him tell me I'm lazy and unmotivated. I feel like an idiot for even writing this message, but at least I feel like I am finally getting it off my chest.

Please, if you can offer me any comments or advice at all, positive or negative, please let me know 8) I am hoping that someone else out there has been / is in a similar situation to me, and can offer me some kind of advice :)

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manu
Joined Jun 14, 2005
Posts: 4

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Posted:Jun 14, 2005 1:07:20 AM

Sorry for the length of the previous post, but I feel like I still missed a whole lot off that I should add. Anyway I truly appreciate anyone who can read the entire thing :)

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Brookelea
Joined Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 66

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Posted:Jun 15, 2005 7:50:55 AM

hi manu,

we could of been twins except i'm not quiet, shy (have been known to be 'feral' in the past) and i have an excellent memory - which means i can't even excuse myself for not doing my work..
i can't blame the memory:( oh and plus i'm female..
i'm also 11 years older than you and have a child who is identical to me..

i know how depressing it can be - being highly intelligent whilst at the same time living in the twilight zone.. tis my life story.. wonderful underachievers but at least we are not alone:))

i'm just hoping that i can save my child the future heartache..

manu, i've studied with many people just like you and they eventually all did really well - eccentric but ripened with age:)

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manu
Joined Jun 14, 2005
Posts: 4

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Posted:Jun 15, 2005 5:54:05 PM

Hi Brookelea,

Thank you very much for the reply :) It's nice to know that I'm not the only one struggling with some aspects of everyday life and learning... I love your quote referring to it as "the twilight zone":

Quote 23cd5fee0b="Brookelea":

i know how depressing it can be - being highly intelligent whilst at the same time living in the twilight zone.. tis my life story.. wonderful underachievers but at least we are not alone:))

So have you ever been diagnosed with a specific learning disorder? Or is it more a motivational/self esteem issue or something?

At least I know that over the last 5 years hard work on my part has really improved a lot of important aspects of my life. But unfortunately, as far as study and learning goes, the harder I try the worse I seem to become. I'm at the stage now where I often can't help but zone out of conversations; at work any verbal instructions are hopeless with me, the only way I learn properly is by actually doing the task (and then I do it damn well I might add :D )

Anyway, thanks for the kind reply ;)

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Brookelea
Joined Jun 12, 2005
Posts: 66

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Posted:Jun 16, 2005 1:38:01 AM

manu, have had problems since a child and eventually sent of to do a range of psych tests including iq tests at the ripe old age of 13.. i was drugged by them in order to 'conform' to standards.. they found that i was very clever but i "might" be prone to criminal activities and suicide - mind you the thought of suicide never once entered my mind.. i told the psyche that i had a higher probability of killing him than myself!! you see i performed "too well" on the tests for an underachieving bored brat..

apparently i have adhd - i accept the fact that i am different and that i can't always do things like others (keep a job for longer than a year etc) but i also appreciate the fact that i can do lots of things that others can't do, ie many people only dream of changing vocations but get stuck in a rut whilst i'm out of that rut before the hole is dug!! i have a huge imagination and that allows me to dream - and many of my dreams and asprirations have come true and even if they didn't, they were real for me:)

a dear friend of mine was diagnosed as being "useless" - thats the exact term used.. he taught himself to read at the age of 19, worked harder than anyone to complete his undergraduate studies and now at the age of 32 he is working towards a masters.. he still can't spell, write and it still takes him a good hour to read one page but through his dreams and imagination he was able to accomplish it..

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