Behavior: Social Skills, Self Esteem

Messing up pants

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Joined: Jun 14, 2005
Posts: 2
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Posted Jun 14, 2005 at 4:47:14 PM
Subject: Messing up pants

Our 12 yr old has ADD. He has friends, and is very social. He has had an ongoing problem with messing up his pants with an unexpected bm, or when his stomach is upset, with diarrehea. Sometimes he will go a couple of months without a problem, and we think he has outgrown it, etc., but then he has another accident. He doesnt seem to be overtly embarressed, and will continue on with his activities, ignoring the problem, until he gets home or until we notice the odor. This includes when he is at a friends house, or out playing. This causes us all stress, and we are sure must cause him to use all kinds of coping strategies, not all positive ones. First question, does anyone out there have this type of problem to deal with?

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Joined Jun 13, 2003
Posts: 1784

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Posted:Jun 14, 2005 7:42:46 PM

This MAY be psychological in origin. In that case you need progfessional counselling ASAP.

On the other hand, it MAY be physical. My family runs to allergies/autoimmune of various sorts, and one of my problems and my daughter's is celiac disease, whch is an autoimmune syndrome that causes vicious reactions to wheat gluten and often a bad lactose intolerance as well. These reactions can cause some pretty awful accidents. When my daughter was young, I had some pretty big battles with teachers who decided they knew better and snuck foods to her behind my back; as I told one of them, the next time she was going to get the kid's underwear to wash.
Read up on allergies and diet -- and please, please be sure to check that it's real science and not some of the fringe stuff -- and try cutting out different foods for *at least* two weeks each (but stay with the science and make sure you keep a balanced diet) and see if the health issues improve. If you can find a real allergen, nerves and sleep and learning will also improve.

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Joined Jun 14, 2005
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Posted:Jun 18, 2005 4:14:09 PM

Thank you so much for your suggestions. My husband and older daughter have food allergies, and though we have at various times considered allergens as the root of the problem, we have never addressed it full out with a altered routine of diet, etc. Although it is probably a combination of causes, we are going to aggressively address the diet and see what we can learn from monitoring his diet. As is usually the case with your field area of expertise hitting very close at home and not dealing with it (ie the shoemakers children never have any shoes!) my husband is a physician and has a Masters Degree in Immunology! I had him read your response and he agreed on the assessment - though admittedly based on the very limited information I provided. Thanks for pointing us in a direction - wherever it leads.

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