Hi, I haven't posted here before, but wanted to get some advice on the problem i'm dealing with. Basically I work for a major software company and although I know I am capable of doing a good job, it seems that i'm having focus issues and are making some pretty bad mistakes.
I often find myself up at night worrying and panting in my mind about what would happen if I lost my job. You see my family depends upon my income to a large extent at the momment. My mother and father do not have jobs yet and the two sisters I live with whom pay rent do not themselves make much money.
I think I have ADHD and I am afriad to use medication as I am not sure if it would make things better/I am scared it will make things worse. When I was younger my parents got me into a cult called Scientology. Even though I do not believe in the ideas, I still find myself worrying about the consquences.
Recently we had a specific problem at work that I thought I had resolved but instead duplicated information. I called my boss up and was asking him if I would get fired. He said I am not, but that he does not like it when I ask him that constantly. It seems that I am trying to predict my own outcome.
If I could only see through a glass that was not indented by a reflection of a shadowy past.