I work as an ICS and resource room teacher for primary students with ADD/ADHD and learning disabilities. In an ICS Kindergarten class, I have one boy I work with 1 period a day for reading. He is resistant to the help I want to give him. He is very defiant. Today he yelled at a classmate, and told her she had to have a play date with him. She said no. I told him others can choose who they want a play date with. He started screaming," Why don't you leave! Don't tell me what to do! She has to have a play date with me!" I asked him to step out in the hallway with me for a "private talk." He screamed NO. At this point the regular ed teacher came over and yelled at him, and it was time for me to go to my next class. I was very upset by this incident. I felt inadequate as a teacher, having a 5 year old refuse to follow my request.
Occasionally, I take this child out for pull-out, and he is very cooperative one-on-one. However, I am assigned to work with him in class, and he seems to resent my presence. I have told the children that I'm there to visit and work with everyone, but they know I'm his teacher.
I also think since I'm there such a short time each day, he doesn't really see me as his teacher.
Sounds a lot like my 8 year old daughter with ADHD and ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder). If I immediately give her a time out away from everyone it helps until she has calmed down. Also, I don't try to talk or reason with her while she is upset because usually her thinking isn't rational.