dating an ld person
Joined: Jul 21, 2008
Posted Jul 21, 2008 at 3:41:35 PM
Subject: dating an ld person
hi i am new and wanted some info from anyone who ever dated anyone with ld , i am looking into dating guy who is and wondered what is like , he does not work and is on ontario disablity . so i know he does not work is there any down falls to dating someon with ld . i like kids . can he handle that ? i know this all sounds dum , but i am looking for help in this area .
can they handle long term ? what about sex? any info i really appreciate . thanks
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Joined May 05, 2008
Posted:Jul 21, 2008 7:21:39 PM
Subject:dating an ld person
Ummm Welll errr.... I must inquire what kind of LD he has. As different LDs make ppl different and it depends too on the severity of the LD and how well he has learned to overcome it.
It isn't like being clinically retarded. It makes some things more challenging for us than for other people. So the playing field isn't level making it harder for us to meet our goals or get where others get with relative ease. HOWEVER! There is ANOTHER side of it too. Our brains and ways of thinking seem to be *DIFFERENT* NOT less than. Therefore, for most of us, anything you can do we can do. The way our brains break it down and work it out may be different though. Our reasoning may be different. We tend to be extremely creative and many of us are highly intelligent.
LD stands for Learning Disabled. Which is totally false. No human living is unable to learn. We have a different style of learning. For example, i had trouble learning to read as a dyslexic person. I couldn't spell my own first name till i was 10. No one knew how to teach me. Then they found Orton Guillingham.... A method based on phonetics. I hold a degree. I am fluent in 6 languages. I am scientist back in school to go further into my field. Sometimes, you will have to aproach things with him a little slower, not because he is dumb but because he needs to make a creative way around the issue for himself. Or you may have to say it verbally instead of leaving a note for him. But this all depends on his LD.
In some cases there are some behavior differences to some degree as well. If your boyfriend is a man, sex should be no problem unless ofcourse you are really unatractive which i doubt you are. Just saying, men tend to be salivating dogs that tend to live like pigs till they have a woman in their lives taking care of them. I would assume he is no different in that department.
As for kids, it depends. I can handle kids. I raised my kid sister. Mom and dad worked full time plus. I have known a few that were too severe to be alone with kids for long periods...But in most cases, all they needed was a good support system to deal with it and they were fine. However, each LD person is different. Maybe he doesn't want them maybe he does. Best a question to ask him.
I just got married last saturday. I have been with my husband for something like 6 years already. Is that long term enough for you??? If not, i dunno what you mean by long term.
As for sex, his big brain is a lil different.... His lil brain shoulod be just fine.
If he doesn't work now, don't assume he ever will. If this troubles you... Run! He likely will never have alot of money. If you want to be rich, RUN! If you lack an independent nature, RUN!
The truth is this different people are affected differntly by different types of LDs. The experts have some interesting half truths to tell about it all. Unfortunately, they tore a page out of Bush Jr.'s book in order to help the drug companies make mass money which they receive some of. Therefore, a bit of rather deliberate fear mongering is typically involved in nearly anything any of them say. However, most of them are decent well intentioned people just trying to help and while they are at it since when is it a crime to help themselves at the same time??? So, take a step back when you read the specifics they give on whatever specific LDs your boyfriend happens to have. Which, would be important to know to understand him at all. Just don't over invest in what the shrinks say, and at the same time recognize they are not entirely full of crap. The reality is probably a bit towards the side of the middle of things that pretty much says, he is a human being we all are atleast mildly LD just some more severely than others. Still to get any real tangible answer to your questions, you must specify what LDs your boyfriend has. Best of luck.
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