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Parenting a Child with LD or ADHD

6 year old with ADD who is not social


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Joined: Jul 27, 2008
Posts: 2
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Posted Jul 28, 2008 at 11:09:38 AM
Subject: 6 year old with ADD who is not social

My 6 year old son has ADD he is on Concerta! I know there are many side effects and I did a lot of looking in to things before we put him on it. He plays sports and we do get him involved with things so he can make friends but he is with drawn from everyone. I am a stay at home mom and we go swimming 2 times a week with family and he wants to go but when we get there he just sits out side the pool and plays by him self. If someone ask to play with him he will not let them. I have seen at football practice team mates say hi and call him by name and he will say hi but when ask who the kid was he will say he don't know there name. I give him time before and after to meet and talk with the other players but he don't. The only friends he has is kids of are friends! We do not have kids on are street. I need help! I want my son to feel good about him self and make friends with out me doing the talking for him. What can I do to make my son more out going!

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scifinut
Joined Jul 11, 2005
Posts: 550

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Posted:Jul 28, 2008 6:28:46 PM

You can't "make" someone more outgoing.

Was your son outgoing or social before he started Concerta? Has he ever been evaluated for Depression? These may be some things to consider and then get seek out appropriate help.

Depression symptoms in children can be withdrawl from pleasurable activities, having difficulty paying attention and lack of interest in social activities.

scifinut mom to: ms 16, bp/adhd/anxiety/complex ld mr. 20, add/dyslexic I hear and I forget I see and I remember I do and I understand. -Anonymous

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Mandi
Joined May 05, 2008
Posts: 424

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Posted:Jul 29, 2008 12:46:46 AM

It's very hard to feel like one of the guys when you are constantly told how different you are. For example, if one is african american living in the deep south in an all white and all biggoted town (which not all of them are.) And you are told and constantly tested and even medicated in order to make your skin color lighter in order to uhhh 'fit in' or to be 'equal' to the others in this town, don't you think you might feel threatened? Don't you think you might want to segregate yourself??? Especially if the 'testing' was painful for you and annoying? Especially, if not getting a sun burn in the summer was viewed and treated as a disability and got you treated differently by like, everyone?

As for Concerta, from what i hear that stuff is in league with Paxil. I would find a new doctor. I am not saying don't medicate though i think it might be a good idea to explore other alternatives. However, every case is different and it is important to give a child what they need be it alternative treatment or drug so long as it is the right drug and the right dose. I would have a look at the drug...

Consider what it is like to be african american and sitting in a room with the grand dragon or whatever it is is that those fascists call themselves,(I am actually not sure that is the right title as i avoid all that idiocy and i can't tolerate such ignorant idiocy...) Having to watch them light their crosses on fire every single day. Depending who your child's teacher is and where they go to school that can be exactly what it is like. The good news though is, it doesn't have to be this way if you can find a good school with a good teacher and a good class for him where he is treated normally rather than as 'other.' And if you can find a treatment for him that works. My advice is don't try so hard. Give him room to breathe and to be himself. Because, having people constantly worrying and breathing down your neck (which may not be what you are doing. I don't know you, but i know how hard parents with LD children try and sometimes they really do over do it in an effort to help.)Celebrate how his mind works. Don't treat it and don't let anyone treat it as a disease. Otherwise, your child will grow up with low self esteem and a lack of a sense of self worth.

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annette10dance
Joined May 13, 2008
Posts: 91

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Posted:Aug 04, 2008 1:47:18 PM

My son was speech delayed, sensory issues and anxiety. He took anxiety medication when he was 4 years old for Selective Mutism. He was not able to speak in school. He had difficulty joining a group. We slowly, had him in swimming at age 3. Progressed to small groups at the YMCA. Last year, he did great in T-ball and soccer.

He is 7 going on 8. He is doing excellant. His motor skills are really good and he looks more advanced than other kids who never had occupational therapy. He is keeping up or looking ahead of his peers.

He is in special education class because he can't read and his memory is poor.

What I always did as a parent was move him along. I try not to enable him. I try not to coddle him too much. I keep him moving along trying new things.

Your description of your son gives me a couple notes. Firstly, kids with learning problems very often misread social cues. I like the book "Its so much work to be your friend" by Richard Lavioe which describes social problems along the lines of ADHD.

Secondly, is he shy or anxious? Has social anxiety been ruled out? Ask the physician to take the survey for the BASC II test in addition for the Conners survey for ADHD. I do a survey with a teacher and myself as a parent and each one gets a score each year.

It's is possible to have more than 1 diagnosis. Anxiety goes in a circle too because it manifests itself from the original disorder or the learning problem.

Also, the speech therapist at school can conduct a social skills group during recess time. Ask about it if your child is the type to stand alone during recess time.

Let us know what you think.

Annette

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