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Living with a Learning Disability.


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Joined: Aug 21, 2008
Posts: 2
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Posted Aug 21, 2008 at 10:30:22 PM
Subject: Living with a Learning Disability.

Hello everyone. I just want to a cliff notes version on who I am and the problem I am facing now.

Who am I?
Well, I am a 32 year old male living with a learning disability since 1st grade. I tend to try to hide it and don't tell anyone but sometimes people notice. I just want everyone to respect me for who I am.

My problem...
I am getting extremely depressed at my job(IT department at a Credit Union) because I am not advancing like I should. See a few months ago I told my department head that I had a Learning Disability during a heated argument. Well at that time he told me that he didn't believe I had a LD and that I was only using that as an excuse...

Well that time passed and I started noticing he started blaming me for everything that is going wrong with the department both in front of me and behind my back.(via info from friends at work)

Today I walked in his office and noticed he was talking about me over the phone(his back was turned). Telling someone that I was a list type of guy and when I defer off the list I tend to don't get things done. At the time I didn't think anything of it because I didn't hear all of the conversation. But when I got to the job site the employees at that location started to baby talk me. So the thought went through my head, "What the heck did <Name of Boss> tell these people?"

Does he have the right to tell people that I have a disability?

___________

Sorry if my grammar is off. That's one of the issues that I have.

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Bill Gordon
Joined Feb 01, 2008
Posts: 5

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Posted:Aug 22, 2008 3:00:29 AM

Big mistake sharing that because now everyone will know, and people have a special way of treating those of our kind, part of which is to condescend. There is a conspiracy against people in our minority group.

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Bill Gordon
Joined Feb 01, 2008
Posts: 5

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Posted:Aug 22, 2008 3:01:51 AM

When they baby you do you start to feel any different, like regressed or suppressed? That is the product of mind control.

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Kevin K76
Joined Aug 21, 2008
Posts: 2

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Posted:Aug 22, 2008 1:17:38 PM

I just continued with my work. I just tend to ignore it and let it fester inside until I stop thinking about it. I know that sounds bad but I been doing that all my life.

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Mandi
Joined May 05, 2008
Posts: 424

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Posted:Aug 22, 2008 9:45:15 PM

You sound very sweet, and it can be painful the predjudiced we face every day of our lives when we are just like everyone else inside except for something that complicates our lives and makes things harder but hardly impossible. People don't think in grey as a general rule. Only in black and white. So either you are retarded in their sick mind and to be pitied and babied. Or you are fine. And you are fine. You just need a little understanding on certain weak points or you need to find alternative routes sometimes. But you are as able as they are.

Letting it fester is a pretty piss idea. It will only cause you to hurt more inside. Because, by doing so you accept and allow others to treat you as less than you are. And you know, you deserve better than that. It is bad enough when we face that sort of crap from others but when we take it from ourselves too. No. This is not ok. Being LD means the most important skill in our lives is NOT the ability to overcome our LD. But it is the ability to advocate for ourselves. It sounds to me it is a skill you need to work on because you are a nice guy that doesnt want to disrupt anything at all.

I would suggest, that you set up a special meeting with yourself and those you work with at some point. I would suggest that you tell them candidly what your issues are and what they aren't. I would provide some reading material and information and i would explain to them in brief the history of man and the predjudices we have held. Then i would tell them you haven't changed since the day you first started work there and they didn't know. I would explain that your identity is exactly what it has always been And that you r3ecognize they are trying to be kind but handling you with kiddy gloves is not necesary or apropriate and that it makes you feel hurt and uncomfortable. You have a right to say these things. You have a right to be treated by others based on your identity rather than your LD. You also have the right when necesary to work out other methds or paths to an end result or an alternative form for the end result to take or what ever that still provides the necesary components.

A wise man named Orwell, or Orwel? Beh... I can't spell i am dyslexic... once said, "We must be the change we wish to see." It starts with you. You set a new tone. You treat you with respect and insist politely that others behave in the same fashion. It sounds like they care about you and enjoy having you there or they would have fired you by now. So don't worry. Don't be an abrassive jerk about it which i doubt you could be if you tried you seem too timid and sweet. But you are able to stand up and kindly and politely educate people about the issues rather than allowing it to eat you up inside.

But to make it easier, i am a tiny little wafe like woman i need protection from the big bad world. Like you i have had these problems in life. And every time these things happen to someone with LD i feel like i have personally been slapped in the face. So don't let them beat me. Stand up for yourself calmly politely and rationally if you can't advocate for you, do it for me. Good luck, and remember, they are well intentioned and meet them there with good intentions of your own and information.

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Rosco P. Coltrane
Joined Jun 28, 2007
Posts: 47

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Posted:Aug 26, 2008 9:23:28 AM

Sorry to hear that your job isn't going well....

Getting into a "heated argument" with your department head is a great way to piss the person off and land a huge target on your back. Now, this person is looking for every little thing that you do wrong in an attempt to get rid of you. As difficult and frustrating as it might be sometimes, you have to control your emotions and maintain a sense of professionalism. I'm not saying that your boss is right (slandering someone in the office is certaining unprofessional), but there is a right and a "not so right" way to handle things. I'm sure that the department head has a supervisor. Would it be beneficial for the three of you to sit down and talk about this matter in a calm manner? The only alternative would be to ignore it and see if things cool down.

With that being said...Because of your learning differences, you have developed coping skills to deal with your area(s) of weakness. It has obviously worked for you because it's gotten you this far. There is nothing wrong with having a system or a particular way of doing things. You might have to figure out a way to get your system to work within your current office setting. I don't know all the specifics of your situation, but I'm sure that you can do it. I don't think that there is anything wrong with telling your boss the reasoning behind your "system." You just need to get your message across in a calm and professional way.

Good Luck

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Alissa
Joined Aug 27, 2008
Posts: 4

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Posted:Aug 27, 2008 1:08:27 PM

Hi Kevin

I just joined today. I started a new job last September and had an adjustmemt problem there. Just carry on with you work and ignore it. I would start looking for another job.

Also, are you on medication? I am on Ritalin 10mg, 3x per day. Its helped me professionally and socially.

Take care and dont give up!

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