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Parenting a Child with LD or ADHD

How to tell your child they have an LD


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Joined: Jan 17, 2008
Posts: 9
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Posted Oct 08, 2008 at 2:08:02 PM
Subject: How to tell your child they have an LD

We think it's time to tell our 8-year-old that he has dyslexia. We feel knowing this will give him one more coping tool as he deals with school and other kids. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to go about having this chat?

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Mandi
Joined May 05, 2008
Posts: 424

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Posted:Oct 08, 2008 7:49:23 PM

I have dyslexia. I couldn't spell my own name at your son's age. I am now 28, happily married, to a PHD in theoretical physics with an emphasis on quantum mechanics.

They told my parents i would never be able to read or write. Today i am fluent in 6 languages. I am in grad school for egyptology with a degree in archaeology. I am fairly fluent too in hieroglyphs and hieatic script ancient coptic as well as Linear B and the Ogham of the ancient non existant celts or so we call them. (The term celt actually refers to an art style that originiated in spain and portugal but reached its height int he british isles that we consider the celtic lands, today. The celtic people themselves were tribal and each tribe seems to have had it's own name. The first one to use the term celt for the people of the british isle was one opf the various roman emperors. I simply hate misinformation and prefer to educate as talk about things especially to explain terminology when it is false.) Anyway, i also speak 6 modern languages and i am multi instrumental and i read and write music notation of the modern western variety and that of the ancient greeks quite fluently. I had to learnt o read though with the orton guillingham method.

This is dyslexia. It is NOT a death sentence. I am so tired of parents talking about it like you are telling your child they have cancer. Your kid doesn't have brain cancer. Just dyslexia! And there are ways to work around it. I am a living example of it.

Trust me your kid already knows something is different about himself and how he perceives things and learns things. The only thing you are telling him is what society has named his view point and that they all think it is a disability. Which it isn't. Dyslexics, have some of the highest IQs known to man. Most of them are exquisitely intelligent and treating him likie less and keeping it from him all this time is just cruel. He is able to understand everything now stop belittling him and treat him like a normal child because that is exactly what he is. A normal kid with a mildly different take on things. Sometimes that makes it harder in our society and sometimes it makes it easier. I am disgusted and offended by this post and the fact that someone would ask such a question. He may be a child with an LD but condescending to him seems awfully inapropriate. Get over yourselves he has Dyslexia not clinical retardatiuon or cancer. What you have though i like to call I.G.N.O.R.A.N.C.E. disorder. You are making a HUGE mistake in your aproach. Your child is your child not a disease. Nor is he a diseased being with no hope of survival. This question is so offensive to me i am actually really angry that anyone would ask it because it implies by default that i am a lesser being for being dyslexic. How dare you. You likely don't have half the education i do. You are outrageous and i pity your son. He deserves better than to be considered a disease as opposed to being judged even by his own parents not by his personality and identity. As a parent how dare you take that away from him? It is your job to protect that. It's not your kid that is the disease.... I won't finish that though because i am so very offended by this attitude And i don't want toi go too overboard.

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Mandi
Joined May 05, 2008
Posts: 424

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Posted:Oct 08, 2008 8:39:02 PM

I had to take a walk... I was very offended... Still am...But you can't blame the predjudiced for their ignorance they know not the damage that they do. Or for the purposes of this thread that is what i will try to believe.

You tell him.... That you talked to a woman who has something called Dyslexia. Dyslexia is an opportunity. It is an opportunity that sometimes seems like a curse. Which is what all curses really are. Opportunities in disguise. Tell him, you asked this woman, what it was like to live with Dyslexia and that she wants him to know,

"Time is a healer though we can't see how.
When we're caught in the moment and the hurting is now....
This ol' world it vcan be cruel some times
When your lookin for answers, well just keep in mind,
No you are not alone! We are *all* trying to find our way through this life!

I've felt the chill of this world cut down to the bone.
I've walked many a mile down this road on my own.
I've been through hell on my knees came face to face with the devil,
And i know that it's hard to believe, but it gets better."

Not many people can say that they have such experience. Normal people have normal lives those like us have a sacred opportunity. The opportunity to acheive greatness that few ever do succeed at, and that he is not alone. And if he ever wants to talk to someone who has been there, that he should shoot me an email with or without your help. It's hard to go through, but once it is overcome, what you develop to overcome it, becomes a strength of epic propertions and then, one can reach higher than most for what is out of their grasp and you can excel and acheive a greatness that few have the opportunity to dream of. That is what you tell your child.

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Garrett's mom
Joined Oct 05, 2008
Posts: 17

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Posted:Oct 09, 2008 9:38:13 AM

First off, stay focused on what your child does do well. I have a 10-year old with ADD and possible LD, probably dyslexia...see my blog (Garrett's mom). He struggles daily in school with reading, spelling, and some math problems, but he is brilliant with everyday problem solving, and seems hard-wired for electronics, mechanics, etc. He is at this very moment building a mechanical trombone with his electronic kit without any assistance except the instruction booklet which I sometimes have to help him read (he is out of school today with a sore throat). When he became frustrated with his inability to keep up with his peers academically and had to repeat 1st grade, we just explained that everyone has difficulty in some area...some are good at math but not language, etc. We then reminded him of the areas he excels in, such as building and designing things. His neighbor friend does very well in school, but I doubt he could build a radio with electronics; something Garrett can and has done with little to no assistance. Build your child up with praise about those things he/she can do well and help him/her with those areas they aren't as proficient in. Let your child hear those success stories about other people who do well with disabilities....some of our most famous and successful people (Einstein, for instance) may have had learning disabilities, but look what they accomplished. I honestly believe that most children classified LD have a higher IQ than their counterparts...they just learn differently (usually in an extreme way and one that most schools do not teach). The more confidence they have in themselves, the higher their self-esteem will be and the better coping skills they will have to be a success in life. Garrett is the most loving, helpful, dependable child I have ever encountered, and that is not just a mother's bias...all of his teachers have remarked about how sweet he is. I wouldn't trade his beautiful personality for all the so-called "normal" children in the world! He is a gift from God just as my other 3 children who don't have LDs are. Speak to your child with your heart and with love; it will all come together.

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annette10dance
Joined May 13, 2008
Posts: 91

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Posted:Oct 09, 2008 9:00:34 PM

My son is 8 also. We haven't told him he has an LD. We are not sure he has dyslexia since he is good in math and learning his times tables quickly. In fact, we are not sure what LD he has. We know his language skills are low and has low memory scores. So, learning is difficult. He knows reading and writing is very hard for him.

He has no idea he is in a special education class. He has no idea he is different. I figured as he gets older, he will know he is in a special class.

He knows he is doing well in 3rd grade. He knows he is doing great in math. Even though he hates school and hates his teacher.

I guess one day, he will ask me why he is in a small class and not a large class. Then, I will tell him. Good luck on addressing this sensitive issue.

Annette

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Rod Everson
Joined May 20, 2007
Posts: 45

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Posted:Oct 22, 2008 12:16:06 PM

Quote bellcom:

We think it's time to tell our 8-year-old that he has dyslexia....Does anyone have any suggestions on how to go about having this chat?

Hi,

I posted a quick reply earlier due to being short on time. Here's what I suggest.

Before you have the chat, take him to a developmental optometrist to determine whether he has the vision skills required to deal with print. I would bet that he doesn't, based on my experience with a lot of "dyslexics." It has to be a developmental optometrist, not your regular OD, preferably one with a reputable vision therapy department.

Then, assuming that the developmental OD finds issues, deal with them (probably through vision therapy, but possibly with an eyeglass prescription in certain cases.) While you're dealing with the vision issues (assuming you find them) instead of having a chat about "dyslexia," have a chat about how his difficulty learning to read was due to a failure to realize something was wrong with his vision, and that will probably find that learning to read becomes easier after it is fixed.

The more important "chat" you will need to have if you find and fix a vision issue is with his teacher(s) so that they will retrace a few steps to catch him up in reading (give him some phonics instruction yet again because this time he'll absorb it) while at the same time increasing their estimation of his ability to achieve at the level of his peers.

Hope this helps...there's a lot more on this on my website, including a
Vision Assessment Checklist
you can run through first.

Rod Everson
OnTrack Reading
[Modified by: Rod Everson on October 22, 2008 12:19 PM]

[Modified by: Rod Everson on October 22, 2008 12:18 PM]

[Modified by: Rod Everson on April 05, 2013 09:26 AM]

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