Parenting a Child with LD or ADHD

gifted/ld and not motivated

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Joined: Oct 27, 2005
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Posted Oct 23, 2008 at 10:19:47 AM
Subject: gifted/ld and not motivated

My son (6 in 1st grade) is in a Montessori class room, and is not completing the work he needs to be. In fact it is a good day that he completed anything at all.

He will come home, complete homework and read a 5th grade chapter book, but goes back to school the next day and does nothing.

Bribs, rewards, punishments, praise - nothing is affecting what he acomplishes during the day. Teacher is looking to me to have him complete work and she has resorted to not allowing him to go to recess or any related arts and is making him stay in the classroom and work (still not accomplishing work)

He has sleep apnea, we are getting a CPAP next month some time. Ped doesn't want to medicate ADD until it remains after no more sleep apnea.

How do know if its the sleep apnea effecting his day, ADD, lack of motivation, or LD. (by the way, school will not recognize LD for him, since he is performing at or above grade level, when he does work)

We have a conference next week with the teacher. I think she is going to say he doesn't belong in Montessori, or ask me to motivate him.


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Joined May 13, 2008
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Posted:Oct 23, 2008 1:29:36 PM

This is more of your dream than it is his. Don't project your desire of success onto your child to burden for the rest of his life.

My kids had sleep apnea and both had tonsillectomy and adeniodectomy done at age 2 and 3. The progress is amazing.

With other learning disorders or ADD, I would put on hold until the T&A is done. You need to go the ear, nose and throat doctor (ENT) for it. You would be suprised what a difference sleep makes.

Every one has a different calling in life. Some people have the gift of teaching, singing, acting, academics, computers and the list goes on. A public school education is just as good as any other place in my opinion. I would consider switching schools in mid year. Let us know what works best for you.


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Joined Oct 27, 2005
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Posted:Oct 23, 2008 2:37:52 PM

Sorry, I guess I didn't provide full information.

T&A was performed 5 months ago, follow up sleep study shows very lttle improvement, therefore we are looking at the CPAP. We have a study tomorrow with CPAP tritration and will get our CPAP prescribed in a few weeks at the follow up.

As for the Montessori - he is in the public school system, the school is 1/2 montessori, have regular classrooms, and he is in Montessori at the recommendation of the school.

My concern is how to motivate him, when he doesn't seem motivatable.
How can I tell if the lack of completing work is due to apnea, or ADD?

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Joined Jun 12, 2003
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Posted:Oct 23, 2008 3:09:42 PM

Sleep apnea can have detremental effects both physically and behaviorly, but until the sleep deprivation is resolved, it would only be a guess as to if it interferes with motivation or if this is a personality trait.

What caused the school to recommend him for the Montessori class instead of the regular class?

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Joined Jul 11, 2005
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Posted:Oct 23, 2008 7:11:38 PM

I would question why he can get the work done at home but is failing to do it at school. Why is he able to do it in one setting and not another? What are you doing at home that could be helpful at school?

scifinut mom to: ms 16, bp/adhd/anxiety/complex ld mr. 20, add/dyslexic I hear and I forget I see and I remember I do and I understand. -Anonymous

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Joined May 05, 2008
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Posted:Oct 24, 2008 5:27:53 AM

yeps once i could read i was similar. In The fifth grade i used to read college textbooks for fun in many subjects at home. The i would go to school and be bored do pretty much nothing and be miserable all day. Oh everyone tried they had me labeled....etc, and by highschool i was sooooo stinkin bored that i just stopped going to many classes in favor of sitting around the library to read various books on a great number of subjects but mainly music and even more mainly ancient cultures and evolutionary theory. Today i am an archaeologist. I have worked in my field but am back in school again continueing my education further into my field. When he finds his dream in life when he feels something is relevant, he has the capacity and the skills to go as far as he wants. It isn't his fault that the education provided to him is beneath him and it isn't his fault either that none of it connects with his personal interests. If it did, he would be fine. It's too bad some of can't start a major as early as the second grade because we would do alot better if we could.

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Joined Feb 06, 2005
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Posted:Oct 25, 2008 3:11:13 AM

A recent study identified how sleep apnea can seriously impact a child's school performance.
I would suggest that you focus on resolving that, before considering anything else.

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Angela in CA
Joined Mar 17, 2005
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Posted:Oct 25, 2008 10:08:24 AM

We are talking about a very young child. If I read your post correctly he is 6, first grade and reading chapter books. I would look at the expectations in the classroom and suggest that they are not a good fit for your bright little boy. What does he like? What interests him? Tap into those areas and help him find things he likes. I do not see a learning disability from what you describe. Enjoy your boy!


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Joined Oct 27, 2005
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Posted:Oct 27, 2008 7:58:54 AM

Why did the school reccommend Montessori - becuase he was bored in regular class last year (teacher is teaching the alphabet and he is already reading) They school felt he would do better being able to move at his own pace in the Montessori class, so that if he is high in one area and low in another, he would be able to work at those levels - vs moving him up a grade (they tried that last year for a few weeks) and have him not be able to do everthing in a higher grade.

LD - he has auditory issues, but has not been given CAPD formally due to age.
He also has disorder of written expression and a motor coordination disorder.

Because he does not qualify for special ed, he cannot get OT or PT through school - they said those are complementary therapies, unlike speech, you can qualify for stand alone and not special ed.

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Joined Oct 14, 2008
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Posted:Oct 27, 2008 8:29:51 AM

I have to agree with others that he is bored. My husband was a gifted ADD. He didn't do is work either. When his mother would as why, he'd say that he already knew it and didn't see the point in writing it down. At 2nd grade, he read the encyclopedia from A - Z. His parents gave him opportunity to advance his knowledge on given school topics at home. This then rolled over into school were he was allowed to give class reports. It also opened him up to sports. By getting his homework done so quickly, he could spend more time on practicing. Being allowed to tutor slower children was also a help. I'm not gifted, but I had a similar problem. I went from a Private School in NJ to a public school in WV in which two grades were taught in the same classroom all the way through to the 8th grade. I leaned everything the 1st year and spend the second reading books during class. I had homework done before I went home. The school got me into band and focussed on my one weakness - spelling. They also let me play chess during 8th grade class with fellow classmate who had the same problem as I. By high school, the teachers were smart enough to encourage me to do extra work (longer papers that went beyond what was being taught in class). The WV Social Studies Fairs were a life saver. I'm not talking about my husband and myself to brag, but to show a difference between school back then and now. Back then, school could be flexible - now it is nothing by getting ready for standardized State tests. My son hates them and refuses to study them - "I already know it!" My suggestion is a Private School. They have smaller classes and can focus on the individual children giving them the challenges they need, in the areas that they are interested in. Doing the homework for the other boring topics is rewarded by being able to expand in the interested ones. One other thing, have you had his hearing tested since the T&A? Swollen adenoids can put pressure on the hearing nerves and cause deafness. If he's not allowed to look at the teacher's face at school, but can look at yours, that might be the reason for not doing the work in class. Another thing you can do is a spot inspection. Don't worn the school, just come in and watch, out of site, through the classroom door window. Sometimes, the problem is the teacher.

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