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Behavior: Social Skills, Self Esteem

Feeling antisocial, but lonely at the same time.


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Joined: Dec 23, 2008
Posts: 2
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Posted Jan 05, 2009 at 3:35:22 PM
Subject: Feeling antisocial, but lonely at the same time.

I hope this makes sense. I'm 44 and have a hard time getting out socially. I have some friends and go to church, but have never felt totally safe around people because I feel so vulnerable and afraid of getting hurt or judged.

I have struggled with ADD all my life and just recently have been suspecting that I also have dyscalculia.

Lately, I've been finding myself shutting down and not getting out. Friends and family have called, but I don't take their calls or don't call them back for a while.

I've been hurt before by family members and friends and feel inadequate around them. Especially in how my finances are going. I'm so messed up financially right now, I don't know how to get out of this pit I'm in.

Sorry to go on about this, but just wondered if any of you could relate to these feelings. Part of me wants to open up and tell them what I'm going through, but then I'm afraid of them thinking that it's just all in my head or that I just need to get it together.

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Testaclese
Joined Apr 24, 2014
Posts: 69

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Posted:Jan 05, 2009 6:59:51 PM

Quote my3angels:

I hope this makes sense. I'm 44 and have a hard time getting out socially. I have some friends and go to church, but have never felt totally safe around people because I feel so vulnerable and afraid of getting hurt or judged.

Quote my3angels:

I have struggled with ADD all my life and just recently have been suspecting that I also have dyscalculia.

Quote my3angels:

Lately, I've been finding myself shutting down and not getting out. Friends and family have called, but I don't take their calls or don't call them back for a while.

Quote my3angels:

I've been hurt before by family members and friends and feel inadequate around them. Especially in how my finances are going. I'm so messed up financially right now, I don't know how to get out of this pit I'm in.

Quote my3angels:

Sorry to go on about this, but just wondered if any of you could relate to these feelings. Part of me wants to open up and tell them what I'm going through, but then I'm afraid of them thinking that it's just all in my head or that I just need to get it together.

People really can suck. Need I say more? I suppose I do.

I have decided to get really honest with people and tell them everything about my disability. Lay your cards out on the table and you will find out who the good guys are and who the bad guys are. There are more bad guys than good guys.

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scifinut
Joined Jul 11, 2005
Posts: 550

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Posted:Jan 06, 2009 8:44:47 AM

It sounds like you may be suffering from depression and anxiety. Please seek some help as both are treatable. (And no, that doesn't mean its all in your head, it means you may have a chemical imbalance causing problems and it needs treatment.)

((Hugs))

scifinut mom to: ms 16, bp/adhd/anxiety/complex ld mr. 20, add/dyslexic I hear and I forget I see and I remember I do and I understand. -Anonymous

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Mandi
Joined May 05, 2008
Posts: 424

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Posted:Apr 26, 2009 8:22:55 PM

Ahhh And getting told to seek treatment is not what you are looking for. It isn't even based on any kind of understanding of the issues....

You don't need treatment but it sounds like you could use a friend and a shoulder to lean on now and then as we all do. You want someone to understand how hard it is to struggle in a society designed poorly for your needs and for your style of functioning. You want someone to understand that out of batteries feeling we all get when we fight day after day with no end of difficulty in sight. I don't think such a valid sorrow can be classified as a chemical imbalance needing treatment.

Yes, I recognize the feeling. I once spent a year and a couple of months hardly leaving my house i had had such enough with life and living and friends and family. If anyone can understand being hurt by family it's me. That pain stays with you forever. It always makes you second guess yourself so you can never commit to any course of action that can get your life moving again. And even if you could, is it worth the kind of excessive effort it would take to overcome it all to keep going forward? How can someone who thinks so differently and has such a different way of existing inside their head, really conform to meet the measures of successes designed for people with a different kind of functionality? It is really heartbreaking to always be criticised as those with LD typically are. To never have our full strenths realized or seen by society. To always be told to keep who we are hidden from view.... Like some kind of wart on the face of humanity. Yes i understand the sorrow. And no you don't necesarily need medication. However, if you do find yourself thinking suicidal thoughts, go see someone and find help. If necesary look inside a pill bottle but first you may find what you need by seeing the right doctor if suicidal thoughts come up that may be treated in some other way see what can be worked out. No one can get through your mess but you.But people can help.

You can always email me if there is anything i can do to help you or to help you plan the steps necesary to get out of the pit... Anything i can do for you that is in my power to do.... Just let me know. You are not alone. You never were. And there is safety in numbers. So take a deep breath and if you need my help, no criticism here... Only someone happy to do whatever they can to give you a leg up as you lift yourself out of the pit you are in. So if you need any help with organizing or structuring or discussing things, my email adress is out there. Feel free to use it. I understand so well what it is like. I will never tell you it is in your head. Because it isn't. You are not alone. And if you need to, lean on me. It took me years to figure out that i won't fall, So if you need anything just reach out.

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