Parenting a Child with LD or ADHD

New here - daughter diagnosed ADHD, still have questions.

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Joined: Feb 02, 2009
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Posted Feb 02, 2009 at 3:30:18 PM
Subject: New here - daughter diagnosed ADHD, still have questions.

Hi everyone, I'm hoping some of you may be able to help.

Our 5.5 yr old daughter was diagnosed with ADHD 2 weeks ago. We are not totally convinced that ADHD explains what is going on with our daughter, though. At this point in time, we are desperate for some help. We haven't met with our pediatrician yet as a follow up to the developmental assessment, so we haven't begun any treatments or any therapy for the ADHD.

I will try to provide some background:

-Currently she's in Senior Kindergarten here in Ontario, and attends school every morning for just under 2.5 hours. We notified the school prior to her starting in September that she had a "pending" diagnosis of Asperger's (based on an assessment that was done last spring), and that we wanted to keep the lines of communication open regarding her performance in class. September was ok, but once October rolled around she started having some problems. She was hitting other children and having serious meltdowns (screaming, hiding under tables, etc). Things worsened up until Christmas. Her teacher and principal applied for a Short Term EA because she was not functioning in the classroom. She was defiant, non compliant, and was having very frequent meltdowns. She has no friends in her class, and has great difficulty doing any social activities. She is wonderful with the academic stuff - she loves colouring and practicing her printing, etc. Since January, she has had the temporary EA in the classroom with her and it seems to have made a very positive difference.

-The diagnosis of ADHD explains some of her behaviours, but not all of them. She has some sensory issues which flare up - for example, she cannot participate in school assemblies or concerts because the noise is too loud (she covers her ears). She gets upset and screams when touched (if she dosen't want to be touched). She screams and has a meltdown when I brush her hair. More importantly, she also can go into a rage at the drop of a hat, and I have a hard time reaching her when this happens. Today we had to cancel our plans to run a (simple) errand because I asked her to use the washroom before we left. She said she didn't want to; as a mother, of course, I was gently insistent that she needed to use the washroom...lo and behold, here we are an hour later, and she has just stopped screaming and raging. I picked her up and took her to her room so she could be alone, which didn't seem to help. She was screaming and scaring our baby and toddler.

I have to run now as my baby is waking again but I'm interested in talking with some other parents who may have dealt with similar issues. We need some help!

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Joined May 05, 2008
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Posted:Feb 02, 2009 8:55:12 PM

I can't say what is going on with your little girl. What i can say is ADHD is the most over diagnosed thing in existence even according to it's founder.Unfortunately as of yet there are many theories passed off as truth however the facts remain they are only theories. I have as of yet after being used as a lab rat in the ADHD experiments for over 20 years been shown no proof that validates this LD. I have been able to find nothing to substantiate it's existence. That being said, i have also found nothing to unsubstantiate it aside from the long history of human witch hunts and cruelty.

Screamiing like that and behaving uncontrollably to me, would mean it is time to take my kid to the doctor. She may have some issues. She may also even have some physical ones. I did. And if my mother hadn't caught them cuz of the screaming, i wouldn't be here today. Even the doctors had trouble finding them at first... Took them 6 years... They even thought my mum had Munchausers and took me away for a short time. But again, if my kid were screaming like that uncontrollably my first instinct would be my baby is in physical pain and for some reason can't just say so.

Being rageful for the last stinking time is NOT a symptom of ADHD which is something these professional nitwits running around terrorizing parents with this garbage need to stop hyping. Being rageful, indicates some problems most definately. Hell if i know what they are but those with ADHD are not violent rageful people. I have been violent 2 times in my life. One of them, was to protect my baby sister that i ended up raising from my rageful father. I did what i had to to hurt him as much as i could at 12 years old to keep him from hurting her. She was about your daughters age, 5. The other time, someone killed cat. I spent the longest time trying to talk them down from it... If i had hit them sooner that cat would still be alive but it died on it's way to the cat hospital because being ADHD i find violence abhorrent.

The screams when touched bit is really indicative of perhaps some neurological pain disorder. I have never been hard to reach. Nor am i hard to calm down. Nor am i quick to anger as an ADHD person, sustained attention can be a pain in my rear. People assume i am impulsive because i act quickly. What people don't realizee is that my brain runs 10 miles a minute. The amount of thought and processing that happens in a super short span of time is quite extensive actually. And my action is in fact well thought out. It took my husband, about 2 years of living with me to realize that is how i function. But he watched, and he judged and sometimes (extremely rarely) he was right. But most of the time the fact was simple though the decision was made and the act was made fast the thought process behind it was arduous and extensive just fast as well.

These shrinks today running around giving this diagnosis to every kid that comes throught their door. Something *IS* up with your daughter. And you are a damn good parent doing the right thing trying to figure out just what it is. If the diagnosis doesn't fit like OJ's bloody glove should have then it is likely not the right diagnosis. If you as a parent feel your kid is not ADHD but has something else (which to me sounds more likely but i am not one of them experts looking for my head up my butt with both hands and a flashlight.)

I don't know you or what goes on in your home. You sound like a good and competent parent doing the best they can but some of her behaviors are concerning. The bit about hitting other children... Look, i say this just incase there is something going on at home.... We are our children's best teachers. Their most important. The lessons they learn at home they *will* act out in the classroom. So if there is some sort of unhealthy physical behavior in your house hold towards anyone in the house, i think, your kid is very sensitive to it and the environment may have to be changed however difficult it might be, That is if some sort of physical issues exist and i have no idea if they do or not i am not one to judge as i grew up a rather abusive family myself.

One other interesting thing to note, i had a cousin, and whenb she was little... She was the princess. And she knew it too. And the rages she would fly into on the occasions she was told "no" were terrifying....

Another issue might be the baby and toddler. Some children, get very upset when they lose the attention of their parents. She is still very young for that. She still needs you too as i am sure you know far better than i do. And now, being spread so much thinner, with more than 1 child.... Maybe she feels the younger one is the center of everything and she has to remind you that she exists? I am just throwing out a few thoughts and ideas i don't know how helpful they will be or if some of them even adress your situation, but trying to offer a bit of insight into ADHD as diagnosis and how i personally am affected by it if it exists at all which i am not convinced that it does. As every other therapist i see says i don't have it and the next one says i do. They can't even agree with eachother... So obviously the diagnosis of ADHD is more based on subjective opinion than on anything based in legitimate science. So if you think it doesn't fit it doesn't fit. But something is clearly up. Don't let anyone tell you you are wrong about the ADHD being possibly not right. It doesn't sound right to me in the least either. Yes a few things sort of could be construed as to fitting but i don't think it does and i live with adhd every day. Doesn't describe me ever in the history of my life or anyone else i have ever met who is labled legitimately by a non quack as adhd. Don't let them tell you your kid has adhd because it is the easiest thing for them it requires the least amount of work and if they can make her feel good by giving her drugs that affect her brain the same way cocaine would and in this way get her to be less irritating to the world.... Well that isn't their job. Their job is to actually find out what is wrong. So you make them do their job and do not settle for less.

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Joined Jul 11, 2005
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Posted:Feb 03, 2009 8:56:19 AM

Children with sensory issues often also have communication difficulties. This can make things very complicated to figure out. Screaming when touched does not always equate to pain. A helpful book is The Out-Of-Sync Child, which gives great information on sensory integration issues.

I would continue to get her tested as girls often are not diagnosed with Asperger's or Autism spectrum disorders until they are older, unless it is very obvious. I also know that in Canada it can be much more difficult and take a longer time to get the proper appointments.

Read up on Asperger's. http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/ OASIS has great info on Asperger's. Many children with Asperger's also have attention issues. Therapy for the Asperger's and Sensory issues just may clear that up, though.

scifinut mom to: ms 16, bp/adhd/anxiety/complex ld mr. 20, add/dyslexic I hear and I forget I see and I remember I do and I understand. -Anonymous

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Posted:Feb 03, 2009 12:50:09 PM

Scifinut is correct. That sort of behavior does not necesarily mean pain disorder of some sort. I merely mentioned it because it is a possibility. I don't have every answer especially... Not for this one. What i do know, is that though some of the behaviors could be construed (by the vast majority of very crappy experts out there who don't deserve the title of expert) to be ADHD, from someone who lives every day of her life with this alledged afliction it sounds nothing even remotely close to ADHD. That much and only that much i am quite sure of. Beyond that, i was simply throwing out thoughts i had upon reading something so tragic from such a rightfully concerned parent. With my history, pain disorder naturally came to mind so i thought i would throw it out there.... But it could be as off as ADHD seems.... Soo just making sure my words on that note were not taken as gospel but more as what they were meant as just a thought to be considered.

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Joined Mar 07, 2005
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I agree with the possibility of AS.

You also might want to consult an OT about the sensory issues as the right person can be very helpful.


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