I understand a little bit where you are coming from. I think what helped me the most is having a counselor come to the house when my kids were in Early Intervention. I was able to review my childhood issues, throw out the garbage and make new values. For example, I never celebrated the holidays. After my kids were born, I had to decide if this was important. I decided to learn to celebrate holidays and prepare meals and do kid things.
Having a family was a healing grace for me. I was able to undo my childhood pain and re-do it with my kids.
I was always known as coming from the Dysfunctional family. I always thought my husband was from the perfect family. Now, I realize I was parented okay. My husband has underlying issues and pain with how he was raised and parented.
We can choose to work through our childhood issues or not to do it and just get divorced. Divorce is the easy way out.
While I need to reflect on the past from time to time, I try to live in the moment, for each day is a blessing that can't be given again. Each day has new hope, new meaning and new growth. I am thankful for each day as well as the progress my kids make.
Annette