Behavior: Social Skills, Self Esteem

Please Help

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Joined: Jun 20, 2011
Posts: 1
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Posted Jun 20, 2011 at 4:03:00 PM
Subject: Please Help

Hi, I have no idea if this is the adequate section for this but if it is not, can a mod please move it ? Now to the point. I am trying to diagnose myself with whatever mental disorder I have. The reason for this is due to lack of money and the fact that my father is an idiot. Let me describe the situation. First off I think I have either Aspergers or OCD, and also I have been overweight my whole life up until recently where I am now in the process of shedding off those last 20 pounds. As a child I had trouble in school, I remember being sent to the school psychologist, and I had no friends. This was here in California. Around 8/3rd grade I moved to Puebla, Mexico where I then enrolled in school. There it was much easier for me to make friends but people still acted differently towards me. In a small way my academics increased. Around 13 I moved back to California and my ability to make friends was still quite difficult. My academics here largely increased, and although they were not as high as I expected, they increased nonetheless. My whole life I've been told I'm stupid by my family solely on the basis of my grades, even though I am aware I am the smartest in my whole family. I've noticed that I tend to focus on things in an absurd fashion and that at times my language slips up. Like I'll say the wrong word or sometimes I get stuck on a single sentence and will have to reread it at least 10 times. Also worth noticing is that I tend to break habits very easily. For example, I used to bite my nails, wanted to stop biting my nails, stopped biting my nails. I've attributed my weight loss to this. In school, I excel in English even though I don't really like it, I'm more in to math/science, but I've noticed I have to put in much more effort to comprehend it, and sometimes I just give up. In High School, I partook in AP classes and even though I was, not to be arrogant in the top 3 at any given time I was constantly labeled stupid due to my poor marks. When I write I usually tend to change my mind and change the placement of a sentence or so, as such to get adequate diagnosis I will leave this paragraph unchanged. I'm 17 and recently graduated from High School and it is only until after I saw a special on TV about Autism that I'm able to comprehend there is something different about me. Now to the social part. I am a friendly person and will engage anyone but as the school year progresses people tend to avoid me for whatever reason. I noticed that in the hallways sometimes I won't feel like talking to someone and will simply look straight ahead, it's actually a quirk of mine. I also never ask people about their personal life, and tend to avoid talking to fat people on accounts of dislike towards my own weight. In this last month, a lot of the people I've talked too stopped talking to me, a fact which I attributed to people just being assholes, but now I understand there was fault in my part. I am highly uncomfortable around personal situations. Interesting notion, this behavior led me and my best friend to stop being best friends; we rarely talk now. I also have lots of trouble sleeping because I think too much, oh yeah I over analyze things way too much. But about the sleeping, I can never remember my dreams and when I do they just tend to be really weird, but not nightmares. Oh, and sometimes I won't notice things. For example, I'm looking for an oil bottle in the kitchen, and I'll look around then look back and notice it was in front of me the whole time. I also wear glasses and did not really grasp the English language until about two years ago and even now I still don't know some basic stuff like adjectives and stuff, and I'm Mexican. So yeah, that's about it, hopefully you guys can help because as I said earlier I have no money and my dad thinks I'm just making shit up. Thanks for your time

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