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How do I become independent? Please read!


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Joined: Mar 01, 2012
Posts: 1
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Posted Mar 01, 2012 at 11:42:55 AM
Subject: How do I become independent? Please read!

I'm a male in his early 30's who still lives with his parents. I struggled throughout my entire school career due to a visual processing deficit and working memory Ld's. Throughout my grade/high school career I was basically educationally illiterate, because I fell through the cracks of the system. My lack of education was due to poor planning by my parents/teachers and my refusal to cooperate. When I graduated high school I didn't have a focus or a goal in mind. I went to a community college for two years and flunked out. I attempted to go back in my late twenties to once again find myself, but I still haven't made much progress other than an improved GPA (in courses that are very easy i.e., Intro to Psych, History, and a few lit and English courses), but I am extremely terrified of Math and Bio and have even dropped them several times because of a fear of failure. I'll sit in a math 090 course, and when I'm intimidated by an equation I'll give up before I even
try to understand it. The same for Bio and foreign languages. Anything that requires cumulative concepts I cannot mentally grasp and won't take the time to try and figure it out. I believe part of the reason why I give up is because I was able to float through school without trying, and I always seemed to pass by the skin of my teeth. I have been going to community college, part time, for the past 5 years and am not gaining anything fruitful. I failed ONE test in Bio a few weeks ago and gave up without putting any effort in the other class material. This doesn't make sense because I spent a lot of money on the course and this will be my second time dropping it. I have to drop it now because I haven't attended class for 2 weeks and missed a project and another test. I start off with the best of intentions, but I end up biting myself in the butt in the end (Shaw was right about the paved road).


Fast forward to today, and I have a job that pays little and is unskilled. I've managed to work for the company for 8 years, but I don't like the environment or the simplicity of the job. I make enough money to barely survive on my own. If I were terminated from my job I would have to start all over and probably make about minimum wage. I feel trapped living with my parents. I live there because it feels safe and is the only world I have ever known. They said as long as I'm working toward a goal (I did live away with a relative for two years and came back) I am welcome to stay, but I feel that I have wasted the last 5 years by not gaining any meaningful job skills. I am ready to retire my college degree dream and focus on independence, but I don't know how someone with a slow processing speed and a very low performance score on the WAIS is supposed to survive in an economy that isn't producing jobs for the highly intelligent neuro-typical population. Do I attempt to find a "skill" that's marketable and in demand in this economy while still living in the nest, or do I accept the fact that I'll work physically intensive entry-level labor for the rest of my life because of my visual processing/abstract thinking problems?

I know these are questions only I can answer, but I would like some honest input. I know that remaining home until my folks die will make my life, and theirs, very hard!

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Leo
Joined May 26, 2007
Posts: 28

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Posted:Mar 02, 2012 3:04:22 AM

I suggest you check out the web site of Landmark College:
www.landmark.edu

There are some adults in their 30-40's who go to Landmark with hopes that are similar to yours, and they find success and more hope. It is a remarkable college, filled with expertise in teaching the adult and young adult student with the broad range of LD's and ADHD.

I am a parent interested in helping my 19 yo dtr, newly dx with dyslexia and working memory problems, start and be successful in college.

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eoffg
Joined Sep 28, 2011
Posts: 100

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Posted:Mar 02, 2012 3:43:48 AM

Hi Ihopeso and welcome to the forum,
While you had a WIAS test that identified that have a visual processing deficit and working memory LD's.
I think that very probably, it was never really explained to you, what a visual processing deficit actually is? As it's important to understand it, so that you can understand your own way of thinking.
We only have 3 ways of thinking, auditory, visual and spatial.
Where the problem with the WAIS visual processing test, is that they test the combined use of visual-spatial thinking. Which isn't very helpful, as it doesn't tell you whether you have a visual or spatial thinking deficit?
Where this is as helpful as telling someone that they have an audio-visual deficit. But not telling them whether it is a hearing or vision problem?

From what you've written, it is more likely that you have a Spatial thinking problem?
Spatial thinking is what we use to order things in our mind, and then think through them.
Which is the main thing that we use for working out equations.
Though spatial thinking is also what we use for Math, and how we actually concieve of numbers.
But as I mentioned, we only have 3 ways of thinking, auditory, visual and spatial.
Where the problem is that while everyone is aware of auditory and visual deficits. People aren't that aware spatial thinking?
So that I would suggest the answer for you, is to understand your own way of thinking, and build on that.

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adultswithld
Joined Jun 30, 2007
Posts: 15

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Posted:Mar 13, 2012 8:31:39 PM

Check out the Threshold Program, Cambridge, MA
http://www.lesley.edu/threshold/index.html

Check out video about The Threshold Program on Youtube.
www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=xLMfE6fzZP4

The Threshold Program at Lesley University is a campus-based, two year program for highly motivated young adults with special needs.

Also check out:
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Adults-with-Learning-Disabilities/243198555731652
http://connectingadultswithld.wordpress.com/
https://twitter.com/AdultswithLD

If you have questions, you can contact me at adultswithld@gmail.com

Good Luck!!
Cheri
[Modified by: ccinjrsy on March 13, 2012 08:37 PM]

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