Parenting a Child with LD or ADHD

Parents of Teenagers

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Joined: May 29, 2013
Posts: 1
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Posted May 29, 2013 at 11:30:50 AM
Subject: Parents of Teenagers

Newbie here. I am really needing support. I have a teenage son that has recently been diagnosed with LD. The school never caught it, and I wasn't aware of all of the aspects of LD. I had suspected since second grade that he had something wrong, and I voiced this many times to the school. He has since developed behavior problems at home due to the frustration of the school not recognizing the symptoms, and he suffers from acute stress disorder. The acute stress disorder is not organic. He was called lazy, unmotivated, an idiot, loser, retarded, etc by teachers and administrators. The embarrassment and shame kept him from telling me in a time frame I could do anything about it. It's his word versus theirs. I could write a book of what we have been through.

He doesn't fall into any particular category. He shows symptoms of many labels. He is not particularly a mental health issue either because it was born out of the stress he dealt with at school.

My question is how do you develop a healthy relationship with your LD child? I feel like I enable him. We walk on eggshells not to trigger him. I also feel we have a co-depency cycle that is not healthy. I could go on and on, so if you have questions, please ask. I just don't want to make this too long. TIA!

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Joined Sep 28, 2011
Posts: 105

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Posted:May 30, 2013 8:33:42 AM

Hi Geeky-girl and welcome here,

It is a confusing time after getting a diagnosis of an LD?
Where it is also a loss of identity?
Having grown up being told by teachers that he is:' lazy, unmotivated, an idiot, loser, retarded, etc.'
Being repeatedly told this, by teachers, whose opinion he is meant to respect? Then these words become part of his identity, and what he thinks of himself?
But if one is then later diagnosed with an LD.
Also told that one isn't actually lazy, unmotivated, etc?
Then if he isn't these 'things', then who is he?
What is his new identity and how he thinks of himself?

So that what could be helpful, is to help him to develop his new identity?
Where after getting a diagnosis, one is just given LD as a new identity?
But D as 'disability or disorder', are terms that many people with LD's refuse to think of as part of their identity?
Where they think of themselves as having a Learning Difference.
So that you might rather look at the diagnosis, as understanding his different way of learning?
Which recognises and builds on his strengths.

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Joined Jan 23, 2013
Posts: 13

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Posted:Jul 17, 2013 1:14:02 PM

I completely understand what you are going through, as I have a learning disability myself. Fortunate for me I was diagnosed when I was little, but the educational system sucked. They didn't teach students as they were supposed to, treated us as thought we were dumb, and because of that I have distrust for many teachers. Sadly, because of that I didn't learn as I should.

I don't blame your son for being hesitant, and I blame for the school system for that. They shouldn't accuse him of being lazy or whatever else they told him, they should find out what was going on and alerted you of this. I think it would be a good idea to find a group for your son, he could share his feelings with people with disabilities. If there isn't any locally, try online, there are quite a bit of groups out there. I think letting it out, it would be therapeutic. I also believe you two should talk, and have an honest conversation. Take him out, do things together that you both would enjoy. I think it would be good for both of you. Hope this helps.

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