Parenting a Child with LD or ADHD

NLD or NVLD How do I tell my 18 year old daughter???

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Joined: Aug 11, 2013
Posts: 1
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Posted Aug 11, 2013 at 10:11:49 PM
Subject: NLD or NVLD How do I tell my 18 year old daughter???

Hi all. I've spent 18 years keeping my daughter physically healthy and academically on target. Unfortunately, I've never told her that she has NLD, Nonverbal Learning Disability. It makes her 'different' in social situations, she reasons differently, she has poor spatial awareness, and more. Now she wants to move away to go to college. We've registered her, but our housing and job opportunities have fallen through. I need some tools and advice on several areas: 1) Are there books designed for unaware NLD people so that they can discover their situation themselves? 2) If not, how do I go about telling her? 3) What are some resources or advocates when moving forward into college? Any help would be GREATLY appreciated.

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Joined Oct 17, 2014
Posts: 17

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Posted:May 04, 2015 3:25:28 AM

I realize this post is really old, but as someone with NLD who went undiagnosed until age 25 (survived college and most of graduate school). Here's my 2 cents. I don't know of any books specifically designed for "unaware NLD people" and I only found resources AFTER a "communication disorder" was suggested to explain my difficulties. I googled "nonverbal communication disorder" and suddenly my whole life made sense. So, I think you have to know what you're looking for in order to find it. Even if that weren't the case, I strongly suggest telling her yourself anyway, as finding it while sitting alone in a room an hour from home was somewhat traumatic for me.

Chances are she already knows she's "different" and on some level may be hoping for an explanation. I'll let you know how I wish I had been told: I know why you struggle with (fill in the blanks), I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to feel different, but you have a learning disability called Nonverbal Learning Disability that explains your trouble with (fill in the blanks). Try to focus on her strengths and frame being different or unique as a good thing.

If she has a diagnosis, the college's Disability services would be the place to start so she can be documented for accommodations and anything she was receiving before can be continued, I can tell you what specifically helped me, but it really depends what specific things she struggles with, everyone with this disorder is different.

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