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Parenting a Child with LD or ADHD

Update on last weeks problem

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Anonymous
Joined Oct 20, 2014
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Posted:Mar 10, 2002 11:39:05 AM

God ,very true and great story. I believe you are right,just saying it at the right time and in the right format would be much more productive and proactive.

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Anonymous
Joined Oct 20, 2014
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Posted:Mar 10, 2002 12:19:36 PM

I understand your feelings. I have learned much here, but the trend of parents demanding this and that, that we fix everything from severe behavior problems to autism to severe dyslexia or they will sue us, we who work hard and do care, this is a frightening possibility. Any unbalanced parent can lash out against us and make our life miserable and there is little we can do about it. They are protected by the law, we are not.

Kathy, what is your profession, if I may be so bold as to ask?

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Anonymous
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Posted:Mar 10, 2002 9:55:51 PM

I work in the medical profession full time. But my second job is that of an unbalanced parent who lashes out at teachers and makes their lives miserable. In my spare time instead of trying to find a way to help my son learn to read and coming to this board for help, I sit around and think of ways that I can sue the school system. I don't sleep well at night, not because I lay awake worrying about what will happen to my son when he becomes an adult and can't read, I stay awake thinking of ways to torture some poor over worked teacher. And when my 13 year old son has to have me read things to him when he's playing play station, or when he leaves me a note, telling me where he's at and it's written in pictues instead of words, I cry. not because I worry about him and his unability to read. I cry tears of joy because I have another reason to sue the school system. And I don't waste time sitting around worrying if I did something to cause this disability, I'm sure it's not my fault that maybe his disabiltiy is because I went into premature labor, it has to be the school systems fault. So you see, I'm a very busy person!

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Anonymous
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Posted:Mar 10, 2002 11:45:31 PM


and let us not forget all those special ed attorney's out there just waiting around in the front office of the schools after IEP meetings,just chomping at the bit to help us sue the school system. All the rest? Well they are living the life working for the school system and spending millions of our tax dollars ,fighting us in court.

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Anonymous
Joined Oct 20, 2014
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Posted:Mar 10, 2002 11:48:06 PM

socks wrote:
>
>
> and let us not forget all those special ed attorney's out
> there just waiting around in the front office of the schools
> after IEP meetings,just chomping at the bit to help us sue
> the school system. All the rest? Well they are living the
> life working for the school system and spending millions of
> our tax dollars ,fighting us in court.

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Anonymous
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Posted:Mar 11, 2002 12:22:29 AM

You are right that many teachers are not adequately trained to really help your LD students. While there is quite a bit of research available regarding learning disabilities and their remediation, little of it has trickled down to the classroom whether regular ed or special ed. As a teacher I always tried to help my students, but it wasn't until I was the parent of an LD child that I knew the whole story. The frustration you see from parents is the result of being told outright or in other ways that you are bad parents and your child is bad because he/she has not learned to read (or ???). When presented with research that indicates programs that can make a difference these same school officials brush it off. If it takes time or money they are not interested. Somehow it is cheaper to keep a child in special ed until 12th grade, if they don't drop out, than to train teachers in programs that at least offer some hope. As a parent I just wanted to know that we had done the best available to help our son. If he was still not able to read, at least, we had tried. Teachers need training, materials and support to implement programs that work for LD children. These are not easy solutions, but they are the only way each child has a chance.

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Anonymous
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Posted:Mar 11, 2002 12:40:13 AM

This is exactly how I feel, at times when I agonize about why a child isn't progressing better, about how I can find more time in the day that is already bursting at the seams, or how I can work smarter and therefore do more things simultaneously. You know Socks and Kathy, this is all we want to tell you. We read your frustrations. I do read things that happen in schools that are wrong and I say so. However, there is a strong undercurrent these days that all can be fixed and that we can and should do that and more, or else we might be named in a law suit. We just appreciate a place where we can tell our side of the story, something we cannot do at school. We could never, ever tell a parent we didn't have time to do something they want, even when we don't. When I have to leave an IEP meeting at 4:30, a reasonable time to leave work, to drive my child somewhere, I have to say "I have a doctor's appointment" so no one will think me selfish enough to put my own children above their child. No one in their right mind would deny a parent or anyone a necessary trip to the doctor, someone's health may be at stake. But, in reality, this is sometimes the case. This is a safe place where I can tell things the way they are, you can as well.

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Anonymous
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Posted:Mar 11, 2002 12:51:06 AM

Because I suggest some few parents are unbalanced, then you assume I point the finger at you. Heavens, nothing could be farther from the truth

I'll say it and I'll say it loud and clear....................there are unbalanced parents!!!! There are parents who have no business being parents!!!!!! That does not make you or anyone else here one of those unpleasant persons who do exist and can make a teacher quite stressed.

Get this, please, I am NOT referring to you when I mention anything unpleasant about parents. Consider this, if you will..............anybody who can have sex can be a parent................at least there are some qualifications and hoops we have to jump through to become teachers. Ditto for nurses.....

though the one who cared for me after my c-section certainly came across as a sadist. She pointedly, more than once, did not follow the doctor's orders, until he finally yelled at her infront of me in the recovery room. Oh, I'll never forget how she smiled with a gleam in her eye and said this will hurt and then proceeded to push with all of her weight on my recently stiched and stapled abdomen. Even partially under the effects of anasthesia, I still about passed out, then guess what, the sadist did it again, even harder.

Well, I don't love all nurses, but then one of my dearest friends is a C.N.M. So, I know, not all nurses are unbalanced sadists.

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Anonymous
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Posted:Mar 11, 2002 8:08:28 AM

.

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Anonymous
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Posted:Mar 11, 2002 11:30:44 AM

Where would we be without teachers on this site? I understand being angry at toxic teachers. I still have scars from them. But I've been lucky enough in homeschooling to work with a teacher who had never taught anyone with a ld before. She has a gift for helping kids that goes beyond what I can do. I also know there are teachers on this site that are paying their own way to LB workshops this spring and their school district has refused reimbursement. I know that I as a parent would put on my suit and go down to the school district and go to bat for her. I'm disappointed that she doesn't have anyone in her area to be an advocate for her.

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Anonymous
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Posted:Mar 12, 2002 10:18:51 AM

They're out there... they woulnd't have the sophistication to post anything like you did -- and they're also not common, but as Anitya said... all it takes is one.

THen there are the parents who've been burned just enough so that they simply read the worst in anything we do -- so suggesting a career as a chef to a bright non-reader with a *strong* interest in cuisine is interpreted as "you just want to keep him in the MacDonald's kitchen..." the worst part being understanding where the attitude came from.

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Anonymous
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Posted:Mar 13, 2002 11:32:28 PM

do you think any of these teachers really think about our children as adults? I would think ....that if they did ,they would be scared to death of some child ,they turned there back on lookin them up wanting to no just why they wasn't important enough to save? Then maybe they'd be up late at night worring instead of us parents!

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Anonymous
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Posted:Mar 14, 2002 9:50:36 AM

We do stay awake nights worrying about whether or not we are teaching a child correctly, agonizing about why a child is not progressing faster; at least I do. I take teaching my students very seriously (even the one with the crazy mother who is trying to have him labled mentally ill).

I also write assessment reports at home on my time, create my own learning units on my time at home and print many things I bring in for children on my laser printer, using my paper and my toner. I just spent another $35 the other night at teacher supply store to add to the already several hundred I have spent this year of my own money to meet the needs of the students that I am teaching. Everyone expects me to teach anything to any kind of handicapped and no one gives a hoot where the materials come from (but me) or how I figure out how to teach a child with bizarre thinking patterns to think.

We work our tails off, most of us and I guess we get a bit sensitive, too.

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Anonymous
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Posted:Mar 15, 2002 2:19:28 PM

I too have spent many nights unable to sleep agonizing on what I could or should be doing for a particular student.

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