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Behavior: Social Skills, Self Esteem

crying


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Joined: Nov 03, 2005
Posts: 69138
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Posted Sep 17, 2001 at 9:48:33 PM
Subject: crying

I have a 12 year old daughter with various LD problems who is in mostly regular ed classes with an aide that she shares. Our problem is that when she gets frustrated with something, she cries. I have tried to explain to her that others will view her as immature and babyish, but she says she can't stop it when it starts. Otherwise, she is a very sweet and co operative child. Anybody else encounter this or have a suggestion? Thanks.

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Anonymous
Joined Oct 25, 2014
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Posted:Sep 18, 2001 11:11:17 AM
Subject:Re: crying

Is your daughter getting any counseling or therapy which can be extremely useful to deal with these issues: both the emotions themselves, and strategies to regulate and control them.

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Anonymous
Joined Oct 25, 2014
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Posted:Sep 19, 2001 1:26:02 PM
Subject:Re: crying

My daughter is in first grade and has been crying when she get's frustrated as well. She hasn't been assesed for LD yet but this has been a red flag for us. We are now requesting further assesment of her level of functioning. My daughter is bright and with one on one does quite well. She has been labled as stubon and a drama queen. Like yourself I tried to encourage her and point out to her that she's a big girl now and sometimes the work is hard. That been tried we now have to look at the whole picture.

My suggestion to you is to look at her current level of functioning and reassess the interventions she's recieving. Is there anything more that can be done to make learning more enjoyable for her? Is her aide a good match? I would try to observe how the classroom functions and get a little more detail about what's going on when she gets frustrated and upset.

Goo luck!

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Anonymous
Joined Oct 25, 2014
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Posted:Sep 22, 2001 4:03:00 PM
Subject:Re: crying

Be careful about trying to extinguish her crying behavior. I know that when I keep myself from crying what comes out instead is anger. I like myself a lot less as an angry person than as one who cries.

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Anonymous
Joined Oct 25, 2014
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Posted:Sep 25, 2001 7:55:43 AM
Subject:Re: crying

Crying....seems to be the release of frustrations. My daughter would have anxiety attacks when I brought her to school starting in first grade and the roads we have traveled together since that time! It is so hard for us parents to understand how their school activities can frustrate them enough to cry. Yes, you can support her, and hug her, and make sure she is getting enough assistance...or the type of assistance that allows her to do the skills on her own. As another parent offered her opinion you could try counseling...but if it is only with tasks she has difficulty doing then you may need to review her abilities w/her tasks and make sure she is able to do them. Possibly by changing the teaching styles to accommodate the way your daughter learns. Also .. I try to put myself in my daughters shoes....and try imagine how I would feel if I looked at something and did not understand it at all....but was expected to complete it for my parents and teachers. You mean the world to her!! I wish you luck! May you forever be blessed....as we are blessed by the miracles we call our daughters.

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Anonymous
Joined Oct 25, 2014
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Posted:Oct 03, 2001 11:17:51 PM
Subject:Re: crying

As an adult who cries I beg you to tread carefully in dealing with your daughter's crying. I cry when I am frustrated, angry, afraid, even happy-just as others would blush or flush, I happen to cry (when I say cry, I mean simply that liquid is coming out of my eyes, no hysterics). It is a physical response to my emotions, that's all. I don't have fits, I can express myself calmly and clearly and can even continue working. Soon enough, just as a blush would pass, the tears do. However, when a big deal is made out of it or I am judged because of it, I am humiliated and it only gets worse-it takes longer to control it and then becomes this whole "other ball of wax" instead of just the way I react physically to stress. It may be the same for your daughter. If this is the case, help her understand that about herself-because she probably is already beating herself up about it (you might want to consider talking to a professional about this-they all do a free consultation), accept it and learn to continue dealing with whatever situation she is in in a calm and productive manner (yes, even with tears), without taking herself out of the situation. It may be that when she experiences no reaction, only acceptance, from those around her and realizes that she can still deal with the situation without anything truly terrible occuring (whatever that terrible thing may be for her), the tears may subside.

That being said, it is important to make every attempt to help your daughter react in a different way, if she can learn to do so, as crying is generally not socially acceptable.

I have written all this without observing your daughter "in action" and so I cannot know whether she is being manipulative, or throwing a tantrum or anything else-like whether there is one particular trigger...I have written the above only taking your info at face value-judge for yourself whether my advice is suitable.

best wishes.

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Anonymous
Joined Oct 25, 2014
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Posted:Nov 05, 2001 10:05:49 AM
Subject:Re: crying

Please do not ignore this warning sign, especially since it sounds as though the problem is getting worse.

You would be wise to seek a medical evaluation for starters. Your daughter may be depressed. LDs bring so much baggage with them, that trying to deal with all the areas of life they disrupt can be overwhelming for the child and the family.

Young girls seem to be easily trapped by the ideal of perfectionism. Your daughter may be having trouble keeping the flood of her emotions in check because she is not only frustrated by her LDs, but also afraid of not measuring up. She may need some counseling to help her put things into perspective. A good counselor may be able to help her deal with her fears before they turn into uncontrollable tears. Since you obviously are concerned enough to be asking for advice, I suggest you listen to your own instincts. Medical evaluation could open the door with your insurer for some counseling sessions with someone experienced in working with LD adolscents. If you must pay for them yourself, though,your daughter deserves no less. This problem is not likely to go away by itself. Best wishes. JJ

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