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Behavior: Social Skills, Self Esteem

nvld and friends


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Joined: Nov 03, 2005
Posts: 69138
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Posted Jul 04, 2002 at 6:45:43 PM
Subject: nvld and friends

Well, here i am back looking for help and suggestions
I am going for further evaluations to confirm that my son has nonverbal ld.
my biggest concern right now is what to do about the social interactions he has.
he is very active and always outside. 2 of his 'friends' are not the best of influences at the best of times. unfortunately aaron doesn't see this and is getting treated like ^*$&6. :( it breaks my heart.
so, my question....
what should i say to aaron about how others treat him and take advantage of him and encourage him to make not good decisions and choices?

so folks,
you said i should listen...
here i am, all ears, i hope someone will talk:)
thanks
charlene

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Anonymous
Joined Oct 01, 2014
Posts: 69138

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Posted:Jul 05, 2002 6:44:54 PM

This is a hard one, because on one hand: your boy is rejected by his peers because he has LD and kids do not sometimes understand about LD. It is a rough thing, the very sad thing is he may want to be accepted by someone, anyone. This is sometimes leads to the wrong influences. Just be available to your boy to listen and advise him. If you push the issue , he may just get defensive and shut out totally. Did you try a support group for LD or ADD kids ? Maybe he can find somebody who is nice and a good influence on him to buddy with. Otherwise, maybe a church group or scouts may do the trick. Do not give up... because he needs to know you are there.

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Anonymous
Joined Oct 01, 2014
Posts: 69138

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Posted:Jul 06, 2002 7:37:23 PM

thanks for the thought!
we are doing cubs and taekwondo(has been wonderful for him!)
just not sure what to do when i see the 'friend' treat him like *%^*$#- this kid is probably the worst we could have at this age!!(at least in our neighbourhood)
oh, well, my son is away from influences for the summer so maybe i can get him settled down!

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Anonymous
Joined Oct 01, 2014
Posts: 69138

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Posted:Jul 07, 2002 6:42:57 AM

Mamm:

You just wait ! The real test is in the "Middle School years", because this is where the groups start to form. The Nerds, punkers, cheerleaders, jocks etc. He just needs to keep his self-esteem up and healthy. But it is good that he is involved in tae kwon do etc.. anything activity wise outside of school is good. Hang in there ! He will do fine eventually. Only make sure he has alternatives to this "friend" before this person drags your kid's reputation down with him.

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Anonymous
Joined Oct 01, 2014
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Posted:Jul 08, 2002 4:47:23 PM

Charlene, My son also seems to have NVLD (some say yes, some say no but socially it seems to fit...) and he's holding his own socially. I attribute this to a couple of things:
- we had him in a social skills peer group for a year, and probably will do it again at some point.
- he' s in a regular private school that celebrates all kinds of diversity: ethnic, learning style, religious. So he has found he can make friends with some of the other quirky or different kids. He's low on the social hierarchy , but has made friends.
- I have personally tried to connect with the mother's of the boys I think are also a little different. I have found that they too are looking to help their kids connect and are more sensitive to the fact that some kids need help on playdates etc.

Its painful - but then again growing up can be painful for kids without an LD.
Hang in there.

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Anonymous
Joined Oct 01, 2014
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Posted:Jul 09, 2002 2:18:21 PM

thanks to both of you for the pep talk!

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Anonymous
Joined Oct 01, 2014
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Posted:Jul 13, 2002 10:18:19 AM

Maybe you should give him different situations related to social skills and tell him to discuss the right choices or decisions. Also role playing is a good way to help learn how to make the right decisions.
On the internet you will find lots of information on bullying and social skills for the nonverbal learning disabled child. There are articles about how to help the child that is a nonverbal learning disabled child. The website overs a wealth of materials to help the nonverbal learning disabled child. It also gives organizations and parent groups that could offer you help with your child.
The website is www.nldontheweb.org.
A book has been written for parents who have a child with nonverbal learning disability. This book is a parents' guide to help at home. It helps the parent better understand how to deal with the disability. This book is called Nonverbal Learning Disabilities at Home: A Parent's Guide by Pamela B. Tanguay.
You may need to help him team up with a student that will be his shadow. This student will need to be a good model for Aaron. This may help Aaron learn to make good choices and make good decisions. Sometimes children working with children works better than adults working with them.

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Anonymous
Joined Oct 01, 2014
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Posted:Jul 30, 2002 12:00:01 PM

Hi,
I have to say things are more complicated for more son Daniel. He will be 14 in Sept. He has adhd and has always had symptoms with nld. He was dianosed with depression the beginning of 7th grade . His doctor recomendded a iep in place last nov. 01 . My son is very intelligent so the spec ed dirrector kept him in the 504 plan. Well my son went through axnietys depression and chewed pencils pens he had tics facial and some bodie tics he disrupted the class at times and got detentions. At the end of the year I am sad to say he wrecked his alpha smart he put keys in the wrong place so the alpha smart doesnt work. M y son has to pay for this. I acually cried to the spec ed director and she had him tested. He has nld and there is question maybe tourettes . I love my son. He loves his home and sometimes he sleeps on the floor in our room. H ehas fears and he beats up on himself alot. I feel if the school had met his needs sooner my son wouldnt have suffered emotionaly so much. how do you feel . I quess I need to get some help outside the school for disability training
AudreyJPC wrote:
>
> Maybe you should give him different situations related to
> social skills and tell him to discuss the right choices or
> decisions. Also role playing is a good way to help learn how
> to make the right decisions.
> On the internet you will find lots of information on bullying
> and social skills for the nonverbal learning disabled child.
> There are articles about how to help the child that is a
> nonverbal learning disabled child. The website overs a wealth
> of materials to help the nonverbal learning disabled child.
> It also gives organizations and parent groups that could
> offer you help with your child.
> The website is www.nldontheweb.org.
> A book has been written for parents who have a child with
> nonverbal learning disability. This book is a parents' guide
> to help at home. It helps the parent better understand how
> to deal with the disability. This book is called Nonverbal
> Learning Disabilities at Home: A Parent's Guide by Pamela B.
> Tanguay.
> You may need to help him team up with a student that will be
> his shadow. This student will need to be a good model for
> Aaron. This may help Aaron learn to make good choices and
> make good decisions. Sometimes children working with children
> works better than adults working with them.

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Anonymous
Joined Oct 01, 2014
Posts: 69138

Other Topics
Posted:Jul 30, 2002 12:00:05 PM

Hi,
I have to say things are more complicated for more son Daniel. He will be 14 in Sept. He has adhd and has always had symptoms with nld. He was dianosed with depression the beginning of 7th grade . His doctor recomendded a iep in place last nov. 01 . My son is very intelligent so the spec ed dirrector kept him in the 504 plan. Well my son went through axnietys depression and chewed pencils pens he had tics facial and some bodie tics he disrupted the class at times and got detentions. At the end of the year I am sad to say he wrecked his alpha smart he put keys in the wrong place so the alpha smart doesnt work. M y son has to pay for this. I acually cried to the spec ed director and she had him tested. He has nld and there is question maybe tourettes . I love my son. He loves his home and sometimes he sleeps on the floor in our room. H ehas fears and he beats up on himself alot. I feel if the school had met his needs sooner my son wouldnt have suffered emotionaly so much. how do you feel . I quess I need to get some help outside the school for disability training
AudreyJPC wrote:
>
> Maybe you should give him different situations related to
> social skills and tell him to discuss the right choices or
> decisions. Also role playing is a good way to help learn how
> to make the right decisions.
> On the internet you will find lots of information on bullying
> and social skills for the nonverbal learning disabled child.
> There are articles about how to help the child that is a
> nonverbal learning disabled child. The website overs a wealth
> of materials to help the nonverbal learning disabled child.
> It also gives organizations and parent groups that could
> offer you help with your child.
> The website is www.nldontheweb.org.
> A book has been written for parents who have a child with
> nonverbal learning disability. This book is a parents' guide
> to help at home. It helps the parent better understand how
> to deal with the disability. This book is called Nonverbal
> Learning Disabilities at Home: A Parent's Guide by Pamela B.
> Tanguay.
> You may need to help him team up with a student that will be
> his shadow. This student will need to be a good model for
> Aaron. This may help Aaron learn to make good choices and
> make good decisions. Sometimes children working with children
> works better than adults working with them.

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