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Behavior: Social Skills, Self Esteem

time out rooms


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Joined: Nov 03, 2005
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Posted Dec 11, 2002 at 8:05:27 PM
Subject: time out rooms

My 11 year old son has learning and behavior problems. Was suspended from school for one week due to swearing and spitting at a teacher. I had to take him back to school today. I was told he would be put into a time out room untill he appologised. My son was left in there from 10.00 in the morning untill 3.00. He received no food and no drink. He fell asleep but the teacher banged the window and door shouting to wake him. The handle on the inside of the door has been removed so children in the time out room can't get out. My son came home from school totally destressed claiming that the teacher had eat his dinner by the window of the time out room, the teacher also opened the door and teased my son telling him how delicious the chrismas dinner was, he licked his fingers to prove this. I know my son is not lying. He is so upset he is saying he wants to kill himself rather than go back to school to spend another day in time out. Surely this is abuse of a child. Anyone know???

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Anonymous
Joined Sep 02, 2014
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Posted:Dec 12, 2002 6:57:40 AM

It certainly feels abusive. Whether the law would recognize it as such is another matter. I would be outraged if this happened to my child. You have every right to be upset.

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Anonymous
Joined Sep 02, 2014
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Posted:Dec 12, 2002 12:47:30 PM

This is child abuse--call your local child protection agency and ask to speak with someone who deals in institional abuse. They are illegally denying your child access to food, water and bathroom and it is also emotional abuse to isolate him. What if there was a fire? you could call the fire dept and see if this breaks the fire code.
I would not ignore this and I would not send my child back without action. Call the school board, and send them a written statement on what happen. Call your local state representative--they also may be able to help you.

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Anonymous
Joined Sep 02, 2014
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Posted:Dec 12, 2002 3:42:11 PM

Thank you for your response everyone. I rang the school today and spoke with teacher in question. I asked him why David had received no dinner, he replied David hadn't paid for dinner so none was ordered for him. I told him that I have always paid for Davids dinner every four weeks in arrears and he had never gone with dinner before, he replied oh David didn't want any dinner. I asked about him banging the windows when David was sitting calmly with his eyes closed, he replied David is not here to sleep. I asked why he had teased David by eating his dinner in front of him he said to show him how silly he was to be in time out and not in class with other kids enjoying a christmas dinner. I asked him if the handle on the inside of the door was removed and questioned what whould happen in case of a fire, he admited that there was no handle but a teacher would open the door if there was a fire. I didn't mention that my son also came home with a badly bruised and swollen cheek, my son told me he had climbed onto a chair to look outside and had lost his balance and fell but that no one had come to see if he was ok. I asked the teacher what had happened to Davids face, he replied yes another teacher had noticed his face as he was leaving school but no one knew how he had done it. I rang the education board here in N. Ireland. They agreed that the teacher's actions were goading and teasing and understood why my son was so upset. They are looking into it. Will let you know of the outcome.

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Anonymous
Joined Sep 02, 2014
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Posted:Dec 14, 2002 7:05:23 AM

Good going ! If the teacher is found to be at fault, maybe, they should try an experiment: Put the teacher in a room with no lights or windows and keep them there from 9 A.M. to 6 P.M. and with no food and toliet water. Humilitate them and taunt them just like your kid. See how they like it.

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Anonymous
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Posted:Dec 14, 2002 3:49:57 PM

Well the education board have spoken to the head master. The school have had to hold a meeting. I spoke to the head and he agrees that what happened was wrong. He said it has left him feeling very uneasy. I have to ring the education board middle of next week. We will see what actions are taken

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Anonymous
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Posted:Dec 14, 2002 10:07:10 PM

I hope they deprive this teacher of his source of income the day after New Year. Happy 2003. HA HA HA.

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Anonymous
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Posted:Dec 17, 2002 7:59:16 PM

In our district (northern VA) some classes for emotionally disturbed/behavior disordered kids have time out rooms. They are used for only one reason- as a safe place for a child who has lost control to calm down. (they are padded with no furniture, there are regulations as to size, ventilation, supervision, etc.) The out of school suspension should have been the consequence for swearing and spitting, once served his "slate" should have been clean. Whomever wanted an apology apparently doesn't understand much about behavior or behavior modification-- sounds like a control freak. You cannot force an apology-- who cares if the kid says "sorry" if he doesn't mean it. With the teachers you describe I wouldnt be surprised if he was provoked into spitting/swearing! Many schools in our area use in-school suspension where the child does his work and eats his lunch alone in a room (supervised by an aide). This punishement often works better than out of school suspension (which often is just a nice vacation for the kid)

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Anonymous
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Posted:Dec 19, 2002 3:43:15 PM

nt

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Anonymous
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Posted:Feb 07, 2003 11:53:15 PM

The treatment that was described was horrific and I am glad that actions are being taken.

Did anyone in the school's administration apologize to the child for the way he was treated? If not, I would suggest that this be done. How can a child be asked to take responsibility for his behavior if this type of treatment is not addressed by the school's administration with the child?

Also, I would try to help the child direct his anger outward, rather than toward himself in suicidal ideation. He has a right to feel angry at a teacher. He does not, however, have the right to behave disrespectfully. Perhaps he can draw or write about his anger. If he is treated unfairly at school, he can be reassured that an adult will help him with this and that he need not act out in order to remedy the situation. Should he come home and talk about what happened, perhaps a parent can speak with the teacher so that the problem can be handled. If the teacher is unreasonable, then the administration should be consulted.

Children need to learn that their behavior has consequences, but the consequences should be reasonable. When a child acts out, the cause of the acting out needs to be understood and the child needs help in learning alternative ways that the situation could have been handled. Also, the child's ability to behave in the appropriate manner needs to be assessed. If provoked to the point that he cannot control himself, it is inappropriate to hold him fully accountable for his behavior. Perhaps only a token consequence would be appropriate, rather than a consequence that would be appropriate for a child with normal ability for self control.

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Anonymous
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Posted:Feb 08, 2003 12:09:00 AM

I posted a message under a question as to whether the school in question was in the US. That wasn't what I was writing about. What I was responding to was how the child was treated and what I felt he needed.

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Anonymous
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Posted:Apr 11, 2003 11:17:51 AM

I am fortunate in that my son is usually well behaved. However, when he has "lost it" he has to spend time in his bedroom. I always tell him, "Get a grip on yourself."

One day I overheard him telling his grandmother,"I don't have a time out chair, I have a time out room -- this is where I go when I don't have any grip." Got quite a chuckle out of that.

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