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Behavior: Social Skills, Self Esteem

Early Social skills awearness


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Joined: Nov 03, 2005
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Posted Dec 25, 2002 at 4:33:29 PM
Subject: Early Social skills awearness

My son is currently four years old and he's having great difficulties adapting to the social aspects of growing up.. I'm really worried about him not being able to conversate with us and hold more than a one part conversation. He understands certain things like turn the TV on or off or go get your shoes, but if i was to say what,where, when, or who did or said something or the location of an item he doesn't even respond. I've placed him in different little early intervention programs, speech and occupational therapy was his most recent programs, but little has helped. Even in his daycare/pre k program he's not socializing with others well. He's fine as far as motor skills and playing by himself, but social skills are far from great. We first noticed it when he started being picky about what he would and wouldn't eat and then as time went on he just wasn't picking up on things like other kids his age.. He doesn't talk on the phone or even watch cartoons other than blue's clue's or dora the explora.. We have tried everything we know how but sometimes you can only do as much as you know how.. if anyone has any ideas or suggestions please reply.. Thanks for your time and effort you spent reading this.

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Anonymous
Joined Apr 16, 2014
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Posted:Dec 25, 2002 11:58:57 PM

I suggest you look into having him evaluated (or re-evaluated) for autistic spectrum disorders (pdd, asperger's, ) and for non-verbal learning disorder.
You need to go to the local children's hospital usually and get a behavioral pediatrician or ped. neurologist to look at him. At this age, that might be what is happening. email for more info--or search out these on the web--and see if it might fit.

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Anonymous
Joined Apr 16, 2014
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Posted:Dec 28, 2002 10:02:42 PM

I second that suggestion- have your child fully evaluated. In the meantime, I would look into interventions geared for children on the autistic spectrum since they will address similar social and communication issues (regardless of your child's diagnosis). I suggest that you look at the work of steven gutstein (connectionscenter.com), stanley greenspan (ICDL.com), and barry prizant. They all focus on relationship- based, developmental approaches that involve a lot of play, interaction, and fun. I'll give you a few suggestions-
Your child is probably stronger in the visual realm (the evaluation will determine this)- use visual materials to support his weaker language areas. For instance, get photos of the kids in his class, different activities, teachers- the pictures will help him to share his experiences. Get a polaroid camera and take it with you when you have an outing with him- introduce him to simple photography. Make up little books for him about his family and school and his favorite things to do... Keep a dialogue going with him as much as possible- but keep it at a level at which he can respond. Speak simply and clearly. Notice his interests and go there. Keep it to the "here and now"- what he can see and hear and touch in the moment. If he has trouble responding, give him choices for responses. Suggest or do something really silly (ex, give him a fork for his cereal or ask him if pink elephants came to school that day) to see what he will do or say. Join him in his play and play a character- be silly, be dramatic- entice him to include you! Teach him social games such as hide and seek, follow the leader, and Ring around the Rosie. Then you can try simple playdates with one other child. Keep it short, structured, and supervised- help him play games that he knows and likes with the other child. I hope these tips help... Good luck.

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Anonymous
Joined Apr 16, 2014
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Posted:Dec 29, 2002 4:36:30 PM

It sounds like he indeed needs the speech and OT he was receiving-I would do my best to continue them and be patient.

I have an 11 yr old who has received services since 22 months of age. I often become frustrated at what he still is unable to do-after all, 9 YEARS of speech??? Shouldn't he be perfect by now?????

Then, I have to ask myself-where would he be without those same sevices? One never really knows, of course, but it is very possible he would be in far worse shape than learning disabilities and articulation disorders.

Your son may outgrow all his issues but it is also possible that he is not 'fixable'. I'm still grappling with that one myself;it's a process. Good luck!

And I second(3rd?) the advice to look into the autism spectrum.

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Anonymous
Joined Apr 16, 2014
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Posted:Jan 09, 2003 10:42:53 PM

Hey there,

Your son sounds a lot like my daughter when she was that age. She is now nine years old and also since we moved from one state to another she is actually one of the youngest fourth graders and most likely should be in the third grade purely due to her age. (Birth: August 1993). If I would have pushed for assistance in speech and language and also pushed to have a neuroped's eval rather than "just listening" to the pedtrician sooner things might not be the struggle that they are now. My daughter does fit into a NVLD catagory but that is my opinion. I believe her that possibly she could be a high functioning autistic. She also is very right brained in her thinking, doing, visuals etc. She is currently being punnished at school for an issue today yet she is in the ld program, i have a poorly written yet unsigned IEP in place for an indiscreation that she truly does not understand. I personally believe at this point in time the principal has decided that my daugther is defiant and should be in a single person enclosed classroom.
What I am trying to get at is this, learn all you can, seek out the specialist, dont give up and most of all remember your child is a loving soul who doesnt fit into the circle all the time, but is a bright star within the sphere.

true

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Anonymous
Joined Apr 16, 2014
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Posted:Jan 13, 2003 3:28:03 PM

Please take your son to an experienced developmental audiologist. Some children who appear to ignor you have audio processing problems or central hearing loss. Some kids can pass peripheral (tonal) hearing tests administered by pediatricians and school districts. Some kids have 'variable' hearing. Only an audiologist is qualified to detect these problems. Your pediatrician should be able to refer you to a good one. Sounds like your speech therapist should have recommended this. Check out http://www.ASHA.com for more info.

I supsected a hearing problem in my child when he was 4-6 but since he passed tonal tests I didn't look deeper. He was 10 before he was properly diagnosed with CAPD and eustation tube dysfunction which required surgery. I wish we'd been more aggressive earlier. Best, Ann

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Anonymous
Joined Apr 16, 2014
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Posted:Jan 15, 2003 8:59:04 PM

Hi Lisa- I just had to write a note. Im a specialist in autistic spectrum disorders- if there is a possibility that she might be on the spectrum, please have her assessed by a specialist in your area so that a proper IEP can be developed and she gets the help and support she needs! In my practice I often meet children who developed emotional and behavioral issues due to misunderstanding and poorly suited interventions. I'd hate to see this happen with your child. By the way, if she is quite strong visually- it is doubtful that she is NVLD (sometimes called right hemisphere dysfunction because of nonverbal weaknesses). ASD kids, on the other hand, are often very strong in the visual sphere... Just wanted to put that out there-

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Anonymous
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Posted:Jan 16, 2003 11:18:35 PM

Hey there,

Thanks for the reply. I feel like I am grasping at straws here. Plus, I keep being told that 100's of kids could be put into these catagories because the symptoms are vague and at any given time kids show similar symptoms. Well heck my daughter is struggling and showing a great many signs that she needs some type of intervention. The Art School that I put her in this year as an outlet for afterschool was the first place that she is accepted but also the first place where a "teacher" asked me if it was possible that my daughter had been diagnosed with having Asbergers. My daughter's family physician about dropped her jaw and said "no way, no how can it be that", if anything its because me the MoM is resistent to medicating my daughter. Heck yes, I am, i want some testing done but no one here seems to know who does testing here in North Dakota, well besides ADD/ADHD testing. So I am scheduled to have her be seen and tested for that. I honestly believe she needs a neuropsych eval, perhaps an enhanced audiotory evaluation, and most definalty a pragmatics speech assessment. The IEP team at my daughter's school seem more concerned with making sure that I dont push the team for a meeting that I make sure to take in to account that some of the people involved are very busy and we need to work around their schedules. Yet, at the same time they are frustrated with my daughter, i am now being called at least once each week to fix an issue for them with my daughter. She seems to be in there "headlights" and they are focusing a lot of their attention upon her daily. That is why I feel that they have a predetermined focus to send her into an enclosed classroom. Odd that she can partcipate at Art School, she even just completed an comercial as an actor within the comercial. She partcipates in sports Hockey and Soccer without trouble accept at times I see where she becomes confused but one of the coaches realized early on that with the number of kids, that one really needs to be verbal and follow it up with a visual and at times having the kids repeat back to him what he wants them to do during practice.
This upcoming IEP for the second behavior rewrite is not going to be peachy I am sure. If anything it has already made me nervous and trying to get my ducks in a row, to come up with more knowledge and to have goals that I can negotiate with good priortation of those goals etc.

Thanks for helping and responding,
lisaJLH wrote:
>
> Hi Lisa- I just had to write a note. Im a specialist in
> autistic spectrum disorders- if there is a possibility that
> she might be on the spectrum, please have her assessed by a
> specialist in your area so that a proper IEP can be developed
> and she gets the help and support she needs! In my practice
> I often meet children who developed emotional and behavioral
> issues due to misunderstanding and poorly suited
> interventions. I'd hate to see this happen with your child.
> By the way, if she is quite strong visually- it is doubtful
> that she is NVLD (sometimes called right hemisphere
> dysfunction because of nonverbal weaknesses). ASD kids, on
> the other hand, are often very strong in the visual
> sphere... Just wanted to put that out there-

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Anonymous
Joined Apr 16, 2014
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Posted:Jan 24, 2003 8:44:22 PM

Hopefully you will catch this note too- check out the OASIS website for resources in your area- they also have a great guide for parents. Also, call your health insurance and tell them you need an evaluation by a specialist in autism/aspergers. If they don't have one on their provider list- then you should be able to go out of network. A major hospital might be able to help you or you may need to travel a bit. Thing is, you might have her evaluated by an ADHD specialist or anxiety specialist or a sensory integration specialist... and she could be diagnosed with all of those difficulties- but they might miss the boat of ASD. A pediatrician just does not have the expertise in this. Do your homework- there are great books out there about aspergers and ASD and you can see for yourself whether she fits that profile. Good luck-

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