Early Social skills awearness

My son is currently four years old and he's having great difficulties adapting to the social aspects of growing up.. I'm really worried about him not being able to conversate with us and hold more than a one part conversation. He understands certain things like turn the TV on or off or go get your shoes, but if i was to say what,where, when, or who did or said something or the location of an item he doesn't even respond. I've placed him in different little early intervention programs, speech and occupational therapy was his most recent programs, but little has helped. Even in his daycare/pre k program he's not socializing with others well. He's fine as far as motor skills and playing by himself, but social skills are far from great. We first noticed it when he started being picky about what he would and wouldn't eat and then as time went on he just wasn't picking up on things like other kids his age.. He doesn't talk on the phone or even watch cartoons other than blue's clue's or dora the explora.. We have tried everything we know how but sometimes you can only do as much as you know how.. if anyone has any ideas or suggestions please reply.. Thanks for your time and effort you spent reading this.

I second that suggestion- have your child fully evaluated. In the meantime, I would look into interventions geared for children on the autistic spectrum since they will address similar social and communication issues (regardless of your child's diagnosis). I suggest that you look at the work of steven gutstein (connectionscenter.com), stanley greenspan (ICDL.com), and barry prizant. They all focus on relationship- based, developmental approaches that involve a lot of play, interaction, and fun. I'll give you a few suggestions-
Your child is probably stronger in the visual realm (the evaluation will determine this)- use visual materials to support his weaker language areas. For instance, get photos of the kids in his class, different activities, teachers- the pictures will help him to share his experiences. Get a polaroid camera and take it with you when you have an outing with him- introduce him to simple photography. Make up little books for him about his family and school and his favorite things to do... Keep a dialogue going with him as much as possible- but keep it at a level at which he can respond. Speak simply and clearly. Notice his interests and go there. Keep it to the "here and now"- what he can see and hear and touch in the moment. If he has trouble responding, give him choices for responses. Suggest or do something really silly (ex, give him a fork for his cereal or ask him if pink elephants came to school that day) to see what he will do or say. Join him in his play and play a character- be silly, be dramatic- entice him to include you! Teach him social games such as hide and seek, follow the leader, and Ring around the Rosie. Then you can try simple playdates with one other child. Keep it short, structured, and supervised- help him play games that he knows and likes with the other child. I hope these tips help... Good luck.

Hey there,

Your son sounds a lot like my daughter when she was that age. She is now nine years old and also since we moved from one state to another she is actually one of the youngest fourth graders and most likely should be in the third grade purely due to her age. (Birth: August 1993). If I would have pushed for assistance in speech and language and also pushed to have a neuroped's eval rather than "just listening" to the pedtrician sooner things might not be the struggle that they are now. My daughter does fit into a NVLD catagory but that is my opinion. I believe her that possibly she could be a high functioning autistic. She also is very right brained in her thinking, doing, visuals etc. She is currently being punnished at school for an issue today yet she is in the ld program, i have a poorly written yet unsigned IEP in place for an indiscreation that she truly does not understand. I personally believe at this point in time the principal has decided that my daugther is defiant and should be in a single person enclosed classroom.
What I am trying to get at is this, learn all you can, seek out the specialist, dont give up and most of all remember your child is a loving soul who doesnt fit into the circle all the time, but is a bright star within the sphere.

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Hi Lisa- I just had to write a note. Im a specialist in autistic spectrum disorders- if there is a possibility that she might be on the spectrum, please have her assessed by a specialist in your area so that a proper IEP can be developed and she gets the help and support she needs! In my practice I often meet children who developed emotional and behavioral issues due to misunderstanding and poorly suited interventions. I'd hate to see this happen with your child. By the way, if she is quite strong visually- it is doubtful that she is NVLD (sometimes called right hemisphere dysfunction because of nonverbal weaknesses). ASD kids, on the other hand, are often very strong in the visual sphere... Just wanted to put that out there-

Hopefully you will catch this note too- check out the OASIS website for resources in your area- they also have a great guide for parents. Also, call your health insurance and tell them you need an evaluation by a specialist in autism/aspergers. If they don't have one on their provider list- then you should be able to go out of network. A major hospital might be able to help you or you may need to travel a bit. Thing is, you might have her evaluated by an ADHD specialist or anxiety specialist or a sensory integration specialist... and she could be diagnosed with all of those difficulties- but they might miss the boat of ASD. A pediatrician just does not have the expertise in this. Do your homework- there are great books out there about aspergers and ASD and you can see for yourself whether she fits that profile. Good luck-