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self-esteem and anger


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Joined: Nov 03, 2005
Posts: 69138
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Posted Mar 14, 2001 at 12:00:01 AM
Subject: self-esteem and anger

I have an 18 year old who has learning disabilities. We made the mistake of sending him to a private Catholic high school because we thought that time and care would be taken with him. The school's academic expectations increased as he attended and they could not and would not provide the accomodations that he needed. He was asked to leave for the last semester of his senior year because he had basically burned out. We have a lot of bitter feelings and he has a lot of anger. But mostly he has lost a lot of self esteem. He used to be an excellent horseman, actor, singer and generally social person. Now he sits at home doing nothing but really wants to go to college. He won't see a counsellor because his high school made him go when he yelled at a teacher. He sees it as punishment and not helping at all. Does anyone have any suggestions?

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Anonymous
Joined Oct 22, 2014
Posts: 69138

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Posted:Mar 14, 2001 12:00:01 AM

: If he really wants to go to college, then he should. He is 1/2 year shy of a diploma? He has many options and he may simply be unaware of those options. I don't know what state you're in but he could home-school for his diploma. He could possibly take the GED test and have a GED diploma without further schooling. (Colleges will accept GED diplomas) He could register with any one of a number of correspondence schools for his diploma or on-line schools. Check out Keystone for a long-established correspondence school or Clonlara.He could also take on-line college courses even without his degree. Check out Foothill College, a California based college which has on line credit courses open to anybody.If he would register as a part-time non-degree student, he might even be able to take college courses at a local college without finishing his diploma.I have an 18 year old who has learning disabilities. We made the
: mistake of sending him to a private Catholic high school because
: we thought that time and care would be taken with him. The
: school's academic expectations increased as he attended and they
: could not and would not provide the accomodations that he needed.
: He was asked to leave for the last semester of his senior year
: because he had basically burned out. We have a lot of bitter
: feelings and he has a lot of anger. But mostly he has lost a lot
: of self esteem. He used to be an excellent horseman, actor, singer
: and generally social person. Now he sits at home doing nothing but
: really wants to go to college. He won't see a counsellor because
: his high school made him go when he yelled at a teacher. He sees
: it as punishment and not helping at all. Does anyone have any
: suggestions?

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Anonymous
Joined Oct 22, 2014
Posts: 69138

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Posted:Mar 14, 2001 12:00:01 AM

Catholic schools can be great places for kids who learn easily and without "unusual" problems, but they can be pretty tough on kids with LDs. My ADHD son benefited from early Catholic school education, but he needed more flexibility in later years. I think I know what you're talking about. Anyway, it sounds like your son may be depressed. Lost interest in things that once were enjoyable is a warning sign. Tell him you think he needs a "check up" and let the doctor know beforehand what has happened at school. It's possible the doctor can help open the door to your son seeing a counselor. If he believes your son is depressed, he will probably recommend it and your son will have the benefit of hearing about it from the doctor, rather than you. Possible depression is nothing to fool around with. Your son should be evaluated now. Start with the doctor, and see what kind of support you can get from him (or her). Whatever you do, don't let your son get the idea he can call the shots here. Get a professional you trust involved, and don't wait for things to get better on their own. Get on the phone and start calling around.Who originally evaluated your son for LD's? If you saw a private psychologist, that person might be able to provide counseling. The thing you have going for you is a big plus...he WANTS to go to college. Good luck in finding help so that your son can see there are things he can do to help make that happen. JJ: I have an 18 year old who has learning disabilities. We made the
: mistake of sending him to a private Catholic high school because
: we thought that time and care would be taken with him. The
: school's academic expectations increased as he attended and they
: could not and would not provide the accomodations that he needed.
: He was asked to leave for the last semester of his senior year
: because he had basically burned out. We have a lot of bitter
: feelings and he has a lot of anger. But mostly he has lost a lot
: of self esteem. He used to be an excellent horseman, actor, singer
: and generally social person. Now he sits at home doing nothing but
: really wants to go to college. He won't see a counsellor because
: his high school made him go when he yelled at a teacher. He sees
: it as punishment and not helping at all. Does anyone have any
: suggestions?

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Anonymous
Joined Oct 22, 2014
Posts: 69138

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Posted:Mar 14, 2001 12:00:01 AM

Beside the GED option, homeschool option and online options posted by another - your son is still eligible for education and testing in the public school system. You can contact the director of special education for the district and request educational testing. Explain to him this will help him advocate for the accomodations that he needs and deserves. This is especially important to establish before he attempts college and can be helpful if he has not yet taken or plans to retake the SAT. He may need to take only a few classes to meet public school diploma requirements depending on what credits he can transfer. But you have to move fast to get him enrolled for second semester. Another option, if you have financial resources to pay for it, is any of a number of private boarding schools for LD students. These by their nature are ready to work with your son's special needs and there is nothing better for LD students than to realize that there are many students struggling with similar issues. Although he may think so right now, he is not the only teenager with special learning needs. I also agree that the medical evaluation for depression is important to pursue. Good luck.

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Anonymous
Joined Oct 22, 2014
Posts: 69138

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Posted:Mar 14, 2001 12:00:01 AM

Look into Landmark College in Putney Vermont. It has a one to one and one to three ratio ...two year school. Perhaps if he visited there he could get some ideas on how to finish. I believe they take GED...they would give him some hope. The other would be to take a hands-on techical program in "something" just to get him back into education....then maybe he could meet a mentor that would encourage him to finish. Good luck.I have an 18 year old who has learning disabilities. We made the
: mistake of sending him to a private Catholic high school because
: we thought that time and care would be taken with him. The
: school's academic expectations increased as he attended and they
: could not and would not provide the accomodations that he needed.
: He was asked to leave for the last semester of his senior year
: because he had basically burned out. We have a lot of bitter
: feelings and he has a lot of anger. But mostly he has lost a lot
: of self esteem. He used to be an excellent horseman, actor, singer
: and generally social person. Now he sits at home doing nothing but
: really wants to go to college. He won't see a counsellor because
: his high school made him go when he yelled at a teacher. He sees
: it as punishment and not helping at all. Does anyone have any
: suggestions?

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