My daughter wants to go to college!

Are there any lists of colleges that are "user-friendly" for ADHD students?

Thank you Ree for your words of encouragement. We've been working hard and are hoping for an acceptable SAT score when she retakes next Tuesday. I appreciate everyone's encouragement and suggestions. Maybe with all the good thoughts, positive energy, prayers, crossed fingers, etc. on Tuesday she'll make it happen! If we can get her in, she'll find a way to make it work. I know this because she just never gives up. Keep us in your thoughts, especially next Tuesday.
Thanks everybody,
Paula DeTar

Paula,

Although a community college requires SAT scores for freshmen coming right out of high school, I doubt that they have the same requirement for an "adult" student. Although I don't know what the regulations are for the state you live in, the community college where I teach in NC has students that only have GEDs. My son was homeschooled through graduation, so I had him get his GED in case some colleges wouldn't take home school diplomas. He's never taken the SAT, and is currently enrolled at this community college. In fact, I teach developmental English there, and MANY of my students have only GEDs. Some are older adults who never got to high school, much less took SATs. The only requirement is that every student takes ASSET tests at the community college when they apply. These are like placement tests. If they don't score high enough on the math, reading, or English, they have to take a developmental class (which is what I teach in English and reading), pass with a grade of C, and then they can take the college credit courses.

Look, I even teach convicts out at the maximum security prison...many of them quit school in 6th or 7th grade! And they're passing the developmental classes and going on for college credit through the community college fo associate degrees!

In this state, an "adult" student is one who has been out of school for at least a year. Find out what the requirement is for your state. Your daughter could take a year off to work or help you out or even take some classes...just one or two a semester...without being part of the degree program. That way she can be learning without having to do the SAT requirement. An online course would be good,too. She could be getting experience that will help her in whatever degree program she goes into later.

It's absolutely ridiculous that she can't go to college because of a stupid SAT score when I teach people at the community college who can barely read and don't know a noun from a verb to do well enough to go on for business degrees, nursing certificates, etc.

Keep trying, Paula. There's always a way!

Ree

Paula,

I have exactly the same problem with math. I can't hold onto a formula for more than a day or so. I have to relearn it every time I need to use it. My teachers in high school tried tutoring me and finally passed me when they realized I just couldn't do it. I even transpose numbers and must double check everything with a calculator. But I graduated magna cum laude from the University of NC at Greensboro last December, so there IS a way! Your daughter should NOT give up.

I realize the developmental classes don't give college credit, but, once she passes the one in math, she should have to take only one college math class for the basic requirements for her BA. And she may not even have to take the developmental math class. She may pass the Asset test for it. I passed the math Asset test with only one point to spare, but did squeak by. It helps to study the formulas right up to the time of the test, so they'll stay fresh. I don't know what sort of learning disability this is that makes math formulas slide out of one's brain, but there are ways to work around it.

She can still have the college experience of dorms and all if she gets a couple years at a comunity college. Then she can transfer to a university with the math requirement behind her. I would suggest you talk to the local community college's student counselors and explain the problem. It would be worth having her tested for a learning disability in math so the community college could take that into consideration with the math class she needs. And, if she has trouble while taking the required math class at the university, she can request tutoring which will help her at least get the necessary C to pass. It won't fix the math learning problem, but will get her passed that class. My son has to take precalculus algebra for his associate's degree, and he has the same problem I do with math...in fact, his is worse than mine because I've had years of doing budgets and struggling with checkbooks so some of it has become a tad bit easier just from so many years of doing simple math. My son doesn't have that experience behind him.

Anyway, I also tutor students in English who are having trouble passing their college credit English classes...I don't expect to get into their heads what they have no ability for, but I do help them get their papers written well enough to pass the class. None of these students are English majors, so they only need one or two English classes to go on. The same can be done for your daughter with math.

And I realize how hard it is to commute to school. I spent two and a half years driving an hour each way, between 2 to 5 days a week, to go to UNC-Greensboro...and through the rush-hour traffic on I-85 and I-40. But it would be only a few semesters for her, and then she could go to the university.

I wish you could send her to the community college I teach at...the math prof here is a gem and allows students to use 1 index card on which they can write down all the formulas they can squeeze in. Then they are allowed to have that one card with them during tests. And the developmental math is all done on computer assignments, with a very helpful teacher available to get students through it.

But the counselors at the community college can be a big help. And many colleges and universities have their own grants and scholarships, both need-based and otherwise. I wouldn't have been able to go at all if it weren't for the federal Pell grant and the university grants. I took some student loans, but only a very few. Oh, speaking of the loans, you know they have very good deferrment policies. I'm on one now because I don't make over the limit of $967 a month. And as long as she continues to go to college at least half-time, she doesn't have pay back her loans. Once she's out of school for more than 6 months, she'll have to, but, as I said, they bend over backwards to arrange payments one can afford or else give deferrments or forebearance periods.

I hope you won't give up trying, for her sake. I lost many years because no one encouraged me or helped me find the ways around the problems. I'd hate to see her chances get pushed aside because of some red tape. I know it's frustrating. Best of luck, and my prayers go up for you and her.

Ree

Paula, I'm glad to now you're still trying. The developmental classes may be her best bet to get her past this math hassle. Once past that, she shouldn't have any problem with other classes and should get whatever degree she wants. I've struggled with the math disability all my life and, like you, found no help for it when I was in school either. It's a shame that university that has the documentation won't make some sort of allowance for her problem. I wonder if you can go to the university's office for handicapped students...this disability is most certainly a handicap...perhaps they would be more understanding or know of some rule that says she can't be excluded because of the learning disability. There are many laws now that prevent that sort of discrimination; maybe the people you've talked to in the other part of the university aren't aware of these things...or might just not care; there are, unfortunately, lousy teachers and school administrators who are more of a hindrance to education than any help!

Yes, she probably does know the answers to a lot of the questions, but marks them wrong. I have been in the store and had the cashier tell me the cost of something was, say, $32.57. My mind was saying it correctly, I was thinking the right number very carefully, but my hand simply wrote "$35.72"! As if it had its own mind! So irritating! I've wasted a lot of checks that way!

Well, I just got my acceptance letter for California State University's online master's degree program today, so I'm proof that this math disability isn't the end of a dream. If I hear of anything that could help out, I'll let you know.

Ree

I know of a junior college that has residence halls. It's called Paris Junior College, and it's located in Paris, Texas. And when I was a student there (I graduated from PJC in 1983), it had an open-door policy; you didn't have to have a high score on an ACT or SAT to get in. (I haven't researched it in some time, but hopefully that's still the same.) I don't know where you live or how far your daugther would be willing to travel to attend college, but distance is not a problem for her, she could attend Paris Junior College AND get the dorm life she craves (with special help in her problem areas). If your daughter can manage there, she'll be able to transfer to any university that has a good LD program.

Would that work for her, do you think?

Yours truly,
Kathy G.

I just have a few comments and suggestions for you, Paula. We homeschool and Georgia is NOTORIOUS for their demands of hsed kids---I think they require 6 SAT IIs for admittance to any of their prestigious state schools. Don't know what's up with that, but it sounds like they are very rigid! Who's running "the show" there?

That aside, has your daughter looked into the military as a way to further her singing goals and education? Believe it or not, each service actively recruits musicians and singers! You enlist, go through basic training and then are assigned somewhere to a band, chorus or even work as a soloist, depending on the ability and previous training. The GREAT thing is, there are super bonuses and money available for her education when she gets out---and many servicemen start while they're still active-duty. They might even pay her way through school BEFORE she becomes active duty, which means she'd be officer material. Do the research (you're obviously good at that!), find out exactly what MOS she wants and try to get the best deal you can from a recruiter.

She wouldn't be staying there in the hometown, but it sounds like that door is swinging shut. Sigh...

Blessings to your daughter, she sounds as if she's determined enough to keep battling through!

Cheryl

Hi everyone,
I wanted to update you all on our situation. You have all been so kind and concerned and we thank you very much for that. The situation got as bad as I thought it could get, we were at the point that we were thinking she would simply not be able to go anywhere. Until last week when all the professors got back to the college. As soon as my daughters voice teacher found out what was going on she went to the Director of the Music Dept and he was on the case! He finally ended up at the VP of the college and convinced her of my daughters talent as well as her difficulties with LD. The long and short of it is, contrary to what I was told by the Dir. of Admissions (who is, by the way, no longer the Dir. of Admissions), our situation does qualify for a Presidential Exception and my daughter has received one. She is attending the college of her choice (within the State University system) as of today. Of course they are making it as difficult as possible she is required to take remedial courses in Math and she will have to test out of those programs within a given amount of time, I don't know how many chances she has at it at, but she's in and that's all that matters at this point. We are looking at every resource possible to help her, but the problem isn't going to go away and, as it has always been, the problem is retention and retrieval. She can learn it today and not be able to access it tomorrow. It is so frustrating that I can't seem to get that across to anyone who doesn't, either, have the problem themself or have a child who does. I have to say that I had given up. I didn't know how I was going to break it to my daughter. We had investigated every school that we could afford to send her to and she was ineligible to go to any of them. God answers in his own way and in his own time. This time it was about 15 minutes after the deadline for paying tuition, but somehow we made it anyway. We have been truly blessed this week.
Thank you all for your support, encouragement and suggestions!
Paula

Fantastic news! So glad it's starting to work out. Will keep on praying. Let us all know how it goes for your daughter.

Ree

Hello to all,
It has been almost a year and a lot has happened. Most of it not good. First of all I must say that my daughter has decided not to continue at the local college, it's just too much of a struggle, too little help, and a losing battle at this particular school. She began her college experience with taking placement testing on the Friday before her first class on Monday, with the deadline for scheduling her classes and paying tuition at 4:00 that day hanging over her head. Needless to say she didn't do well and ended up in remedial classes not only for the Math but for English as well. They placed a requirement on her that she take all four remedial Math classes, pass out of each one with a C, then retake the placement exams. She was only required to take one remedial English class. The next hurdle was the Disabilities Office itself. She was not qualified for assistance without going through their evaluation process, which was going to cost us about $600. that we didn't have. The end of her first semester she had a very severe case of tonsillitis and missed a couple of exams. It was an extended illness and she ended up with IC in the English class and had to retake it second semester. The math class she just plainly failed. The other 4 classes she passed with A's. The beginning of second semester, we found out that her beloved voice teacher had terminal cancer. We lost her a few weeks ago. As soon as school was out, we had her tonsilles removed and at this point we do not know how her voice will be effected. She struggled for two semesters, much frustration and many tears later, I agree with her... it's just not worth it. She's working on some recordings and getting an agent, deciding if she wants to go to New York or Nashville or if she wants to try a vocational school of some sort. She is eternally optimistic and I know after all this she will never give up. She doesn't look at this as giving up, just deciding on another path. The most interesting thing to come out of all this is that she and a friend who is a Phyc. Major at Emory Univ. here in Atlanta have gotten together and developed an idea for assistance for LD families in our County. These two kids are really determined to make a difference for others and I'm so proud of them I could bust. They are beginning with research and that brings me to my other reason for posting this. We need to know what you all think. We have this site as a resource, but what do you all think would be the most helpful "local" information to make available for parents, students and maybe even teachers. I have my own ideas, but I don't always think the way others do, so it would help to have some input from you guys. We are talking about a website (since I do webdesign and hosting I will be donating that myself) but it would be aimed at just our County, so that we could be very specific about what information we gave people. They are talking about local meetings and a newsletter as well. Any thoughts that you all may have on this subject would be greatly appreciated.
If any of you are interested, Sarah has an on-line resume. It even has a couple of sound clips. I did this site right after she started at the college and haven't updated it since, so it's not current or complete. Just thought you might like to meet her.
Lastly, I want to thank all of you here for the help and encouragement you gave us last year. It really meant more to me than I can say.
Paula