I am 14 years old and I have ADHD. I have had it all my life but it only started to become a real problem in 8th grade. I started to slack off and my grades dropped. I knew it was because I was not paying enough attention in class, but I can’t help it. So my parents just made my suffering worse by making threats. I was not going to go back to my school if my grades didn’t improve, or I was going to go to military school and never see my friends again. It just all made me feel worse.
My parents just emphasize all the bad things that I do and just make me feel like I want to die or something. They have no idea that I feel this way. The only person that does know is a trusted teacher. I am not sure how to cope with all the built up sadness and anger towards myself for not being the perfect child that my parents seem to want me to be.
I have a younger brother with mental disabilities and all their attention seems to be on him and less on me. I feel like they don’t even notice the little good I do. They only seem to see the bad that I do.
Nikki
You are struggling and I am glad you are trying to get help. You mention several problems: (1) You are struggling in eighth grade: (2) your parents appear to be responding with punishment and criticism rather than responding by trying to figure out why you are having difficult; (3) your brother sometimes gets most of your parent’s attention; and, no one appears to realize how much you are hurting emotionally. I am glad you are seeking help. You are fortunate to have a trusted teacher.
You need help from people at school to work with you and with your parents. Start with that trusted teacher. Maybe show this teacher my comments. The two of you might know a school counselor or special education teacher who could be asked to help.
First, many students with ADHD also have problems with organization and with what is called executive function. They have problems organizing their materials (notebooks, papers, reports, homework) and they have equal problems organizing the information in their head. They might read well but not remember what they have read. They might know a lot but have difficulty organizing this information in order to write and answer to a question or to write a report or paper. If this sounds like you, further educational studies might clarify your problems and then clarify how to help.
Second, ask this teacher to go with you to the school counselor to discuss how best to bring your parents on board in an effort to help you rather than to make you upset and angry.