:cry: For the last three months I’ve been seeing a psychologist for self esteem problems because of my LD. When she asked what I want to do when I graduate from college next year I told her that I want to get a job and enroll into vocational classes at a university college. She says that I’m lowering my expectations for myself and I should go for a B/A degree at the university and not the vocational certificate program because she see me as a gifted and “differently- abled” student. Also she thinks I should see about enrolling into music lessons at the community college I go to to help my central auditory disorder. My problem is that it would take me several years to earn a B/A degree handling a job and trying to do all the requirements, especially with my math LD. And after an inccident in fifth grade during a piano lesson class I vowed never to pick up an musical instrument again.
On top of this this psychologist doesn’t like me to say I’m handicapped and makes me say that I’m ” Specially gifted and God gave the the LD as a gift.” I hate this because I see it as a curse after years of being bullied by other kids and yelled at by teachers who didn’t understand. She doesn’t know how it’s like to be me so I feel like no one understands my struggles. :x
Re: Am I lowering expectations for myself too much?
The degree I want to get is a vocational degree at a university and it’s in computer animation. An art teacher of mine told me a few years ago that there are some special programs that focus on just one subject and unlike a A/A or B/A degree you don’t have to take three to four years of general education requirements to earn these degrees. From talking to ladies who are taking cosmotology ( hair and make up classes) at school quite a lot of them have LD and it would take them six to ten years to finish college if they went for an A/A degree instead. Unfortunately my psycologist thinks I’m ‘chickening out’ and have a ‘fear of failure’ because I don’t want to study for a B/A or B/S degree. It bad enough that I’ll have to take Algebra 2 this Fall before I graduate in Spring 2005 with my A/A degree.
:(
Re: Am I lowering expectations for myself too much?
I’d agree — if you *like* the animation stuff, do it!! Besides, I’m not sure at all that music lessons would help CAPD issues. It could be an exercise in utter frustration especially if the courses are designed for people who have more interest — and probably more auditory ability — than most folks.
Something so important as college degree would seem to be a high-risk place to dive into and “not sell yourself short.” There would seem to be a LOT of opportunities for practicing raising your expectations — like in the courses you are taking.
Holler if you have qu3esitons about that Algebra or come on out to Illinois :-)
It is unfortunately very common for well-meaning folks to assume that your biggest problem is not LD, but your confidence… and that gosh, there really isn’t an LD at all. Sometimes they’re right, but sometimes not — and it takes more than just saying “oh, I really can do this” to undo years of negative experience. Takes successes in small stuff first unless you’re *really* sure.
Re: Am I lowering expectations for myself too much?
Focus on what you love most and ignore the background noise of other people. If you want to be a computer graphics artist or animator, then go for it. If you latter decide that you needed a full BA/BS, then go back to school. The reality is that no one can truly know what is best for you except for you.
Re: Am I lowering expectations for myself too much?
Wonderful replies. I wish I could have heard words like this back when I was struggling in community college. I agree about the music lessons. I was in string orchestra from 4th grade to college. I was decent, because I loved it. But I NEVER LEARNED TO READ MUSIC, go figure. Taking music lessons at this point in your life is going to add an unnecessary stress.
Your psychologist doesn’t seem to reflect a basic knowledge about LD life. I’d be concerned about that!
Re: Am I lowering expectations for myself too much?
I decided to take ballet and not the piano. I took a few years of ballet as a teenager to help me with my figure skating and it was a relaxing exercise so I decided to take the class this Fall. The only problem is that this class does American ballet and not the strict Russian style that I learned so many years ago. So it’s like learning a new language. I have to remember to watch the teacher do the moves so I won’t wind up doing the Russian techniques and styles. :lol:
Re: Am I lowering expectations for myself too much?
[quote=”Amber”] On top of this this psychologist doesn’t like me to say I’m handicapped and makes me say that I’m ” Specially gifted and God gave the the LD as a gift.” [/quote]
If someone tried to make me say that I’d slap them. It (1) begs the question that god exists, (2) that LD’s are gifts (last I checked LD’s were deficiencies), and (3) that if god exists it intentially gave it to you, nonetheless with good intentions. Personally, I think she’s just mocking you.
Hi Amber,
You have raised some tough issues because for folks like us, it is a balancing act between having our expections too low and being unrealistic. Without passing judgment on anything that you have said, why do you want to go to vocational school? Do they offer a program that you are very interested in and feel you have talent and passion for?
If that is the case, then stick with your decision. If you don’t feel any excitement whatsoever, then you might need to think about what the psychologist is saying. You don’t have to necessarily follow her advice but it is important to be clear on any actions that you want to take.
<<On top of this this psychologist doesn’t like me to say I’m handicapped and makes me say that I’m ” Specially gifted and God gave the the LD as a gift.” I hate this because I see it as a curse after years of being bullied by other kids and yelled at by teachers who didn’t understand. She doesn’t know how it’s like to be me so I feel like no one understands my struggles. >>
I would feel the same way. Personally, while I am sure this person had good intentions, I find those types of statements insulting. I don’t believe in the doom and gloom theories but I also think those types of statements come across as minimizing our difficulties. The next time she says something like that, ask her these questions.
1. How would she like it if all of a sudden, she couldn’t comprehend the psychology research articles she was reading
2. How would she like it if she couldn’t keep the facts straight on her clients no matter how hard she tried.
3. How would she like it if all of a sudden, she lost the ability to read non verbal language.
4. How would she like it if she couldn’t remember what one of her clients just said?
5. How would she like it if she couldn’t comprehend what a client just said no matter how hard she tried?
Get the picture? Everytime we hear this BS, we need to ask questions that relate to the person’s life and give them an idea as to how LD would affect them. Maybe then, they would stop making these statements.
What people don’t realize is even when we compensate, we initiate activities consciously that most folks do unconsciously. I never understood this until several NLDers discussed their difficulty with driving.
Even though I have NLD, fortunately that deficiency didn’t affect me and I pretty much drive without conscious effort. There are some exceptions but nothing earth shattering. Anyway, I had the lightbulb moment in understanding what having LD is truly about.
Therefore, I don’t go for statements such as everyone has strengths and weakness and I lose my keys also. Sorry, those are not the right responses even though again, they are usually said with good intentions.
Anyway, I didn’t mean to go on a rant but lack of sleep will do that to a person:))
I want to stress that I realize that there are alot worse things in life than having LD. But at the same time, I want people to recognize our difficulties for what they are instead of sugar coating them all the time.
Hang in there, Amber. We understand what you’re saying.
PT