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Finally dealing with it.

Submitted by an LD OnLine user on

I’ve been searching and here you are. There is so little material/help for adults w/LD. Quite depressing. Well here a little bio and if you can help, please do.
At the end of my sophmore year in college I called home and asked”whats wrong with me?” I was not doing well and in 1 course, analytical methods I had a 15%F and it was a required course. That was the first time I heard anyone say “You’ve have a learning disability since 1st grade, but they said you would grow out of it” I did not return to college. And no help was offered from my parents to find help at school so I could stay. All is well, I was not ready. But I’m now 31 and having such difficulty w/daily things: schedules,finances, just getting things done. The basics. We have 2 kids and my role is overwhelming. I bought a book called “How the learning disabled can realize their promise” I need more and I cant find more info/stratagies to accomodate my deficits. It’s hard. Following a recipie and getting interupted and the recipie fails or I forget an ingrediant. The book helps me make sense of what is going on in my life, why I have a hard time and get exhausted trying to accomplish 1 thing. I did start today by getting a wall calendar(dry erase) for remembering school stuff for the kids and appts ect. I also got a purse that has a wallet sewn into it because when I take out my wallet I forget to put it back in at the store or I leave it at home and stand at the register embarrased. But by no means do I think I’m stupid. I’m not. I did through school. Teachers and kids helped with that destruction. I need to learn what to do. I want to go back to school in the fall and succeed. Some form of psychology degree(maybe teach kids w/ld). Can you help? Thanks.

Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 04/06/2002 - 3:10 AM

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I have a lot of dry erase calendars and a lot of strategies for things like trying to follow recipes. I can memorize things so I will first memorize that there are seven steps and then talk myself through them. Interruptions still ruin things though!
One thing I learned was not to take having to start over again as a reason to give up — that each time I get out the calendar and try to get organized again, well, those are days that I am more organized than if I didn’t do it. So if I realize I’ve gotten away from it, I don’t decide that calendars don’t work and I should give up. I just wipe off the dry erase board and get going again. Dry erase is real good for just eliminating mistakes ;) WHat’s really good is sometimes I’ve actually done the stuff on it!
Many schools now have disability services if you’ve got documentation — and other services even if you don’t. RIght now I’m tutoring community college students who are in “developmental” classes because they didn’t test well enough to go straight into 101 in either Math or English. Yea, some of them have LDs — lots of them might but don’t want to even think about “having a disorder.” The good thing is I can help them either way. Now there are people that just come to the lab because it’s a quiet place to work and they can ask “stupid” questions like how to spell because or whatever.
So be sure to look through the catalog for “academic services.”
And remember, it’s not how many times you fall down, it’s how many times you get back up.
Oh, one more thing — www.flylady.com is a neat supportive website and group if you want to get your house organized and have somebody daily encouraging you.

Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 04/06/2002 - 7:14 AM

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Definately get hooked up with Disabled Student Services at your school. Some of the bennifits may include books on tape, if your texts arn’t already available on tape, they’ll have someone put them on tape. That way you can do your cooking, cleaning, driving etc. while listening to your texts. You might also be able to get note takers for you, extended time on tests, and priority registation. At the university I attended they would even give you advice on which instructors were more, or less LD friendly than others. You might even be able to get extended time on admission and placement tests.
Good Luck

Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 04/06/2002 - 3:29 PM

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I have not been formally diagnose w/ LD, but suspect greatly that I do have some…differences. My biggest frustration is following directions. Especially finding a location I was already at. I have NO sense of direction.And I can’t pay attention to what I read, or what others say to me. I tell myself I will, but soon catch myself thinking about something else. And there is lots more. Does any of this sound familiar? And should I be tested? Thanks for any input.

Betsy
P.S. love computers for their spell check, but even they can’t always figure out what I’m trying to say.

Submitted by Anonymous on Sun, 04/07/2002 - 1:43 PM

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Go back to school keep trying
days get bad but rember tommmer is a new day to start fresh
Try ever thing be cases your kid will see and thay will learn never give up

Learing outside the lines
By Jonathn Mooney and David Cole

Good Book

Submitted by Anonymous on Sun, 04/07/2002 - 2:56 PM

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It’s kind of odd for me to be posting here, I don’t normally talk about myself online. I’ve got a small pile of LD’s, and ADD(not much H in there), that might be related to having CAPD. The former ones I dealt with as best I could in college and drifted into computers as a result, which has been a good thing.

The ADD thing I found out about a few years back, and did a fair amout of stuff to learn to cope.

The CAPD stuff, well, I can’t quite discribe what just happened to me, and i
t’s odd to do it in comparative public, but wtf, it’s not like it’ll make life worse somehow. When I was young, my parents had me in learning therapy (I am 40 now), and they focused on a pile of different problems I had, dysgraphia, dyscalcula, ADD & CAPD. At different points they tried to teach me ways of dealing & trying to compensate in different ways. The latter 2 issues they didn’t focus on too much and therapy for it, well, I didn’t recognise the ADD for a long time, and my mother would occasionaly remind me that I had some auditory problem, but I never knew what to make of it. The doctor’s had only ever explained it to me that sometimes I didn’t hear stuff correctly & had crossed wires in my hearing. And that was it. My reaction when my mom occasionaly pointed it out to me was one of `so what’. This becasue I didn’t really associate it with anything other than not hearing people correctly occasionaly.

It seems my understanding of CAPD was well, not really there. I stumbled across information on it and ended up here through a rather freakish chance, and I’m not quite sure how to react to sudden, and not good, news. It at least explains some things to me about myself. Oddly enough, I had an idea involving facial recognition that I was pursuing, ran across some pages by a guy who can’t recognise faces, which led me to another site, where another guy with the same face recognition problem also talked about having CAPD, and I thought to myself `hey, wait a minute, that’s the thing I have!?!’ and ended up reading Paton’s article on it.

Having read it, well, yea that’s me exactly. I can’t begin to describe the effects this combined with ADD have had. The ADD, well that I can describe well, I know how that casues me problems. But this, well at least now I know. I’m pretty sad about it I have to admit. All I’ve ever known is that I needed quiet to get work done, or needed covering noise…

A lot of the other stuff that goes with it, well, the only good thing I can say is it’s nice to know what the deal is, even if there’s nothing I can do. I didn’t know before, only knew that something was badly wrong but I havn’t known how to describe it.

I’d describe to you how it’s been, but it’s depressing to hear, it saddens & embaresses me, and I’m not really too happy to realize it’s not going to get a heck of a lot better. Mabye I’ll feel differently later, but right now I don’t.

Tim

Submitted by Anonymous on Sun, 04/07/2002 - 4:15 PM

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HI EVERY BODY MY NAME IS SOMONA I DON’T REALY NO WHAT TO SAY. I HOW LD. I CAN’T READ GOOD OR SLEEP. SOMETIMES I JUST WANT TO GIVE UP.

Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 04/08/2002 - 3:23 AM

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Hello Lori,

Just wanted to let you know that there is hope and help out there in the world of higher education. I am living proof to it because I flunked out of college (Indiana Unversity at Kokomo) with a 0.97 and then ended up finding a private school, University of Indianapolis) and where I earned a 3.3 after my first semester with the added help of the BUILD program that helps students with LD, ADD’s etc.
Most of the added fee for the BUILD program was paid for by Vocational Rehabilitation Center, I received a little financial aid money, and then my parents paid for the rest of tuition. I also went to get tested by a neuropsychologist where my ADD was diagnosed. I just graduated 2 yrs. ago with my Masters Degree in Recreation Therapy and passed the national certification exam a little over a yr. ago. With a lot of help and support form many people, I am in the process of wrting my autobiography which focuses on how I survived through many very rough yrs. (elem., HS, and college) with a LD and ADD. I currently work at a hospital in the Indianapolis area.

My best advice to you is not to give up! Have faith, hope and love. There are many wonderful people out their who would love to help you to get through school, be it tutoring and emotional support. Also, with a formal diagnosis (Voc. Rehab. testing is free to you and the benefits are great) you can get any type of support you need - from books on tape to untimed tests, having someone write your tests for you after you tell them what your answer to the question is, etc.
For me I needed a separate room (away from noise, so I could take frequent breaks from sitting down, and I could talk to myself about the answer), I also needed someone close by in case I didn’t understand the question, and untimed tests. All of my accomodations fit me since I have dyscalculia, dylexic organization, reading comprehension difficulties, and ADD.

On the positive side, I have noticed that I am a more caring and compassionate person than many people I meet. Yes, the caring way I am causes me more pain than others but you know what? I wouldn’t change a thing now. I have faith that people will continue to cross my path to help me along the way.

Good Luck always,
Maria

Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 04/08/2002 - 3:39 AM

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Tim,

Just to let you know that things really get better. I have been through a lot and I can honestly say that I am still alive so you too will get through this. I can tell from your message how much pain you are in and just want you to know that there is hope out there - people are supportive and caring if you just take the time to reach out. Have faith. Take time to care for yourself and talk to others with whom you trust and who you care for. This is a time to lean on family and friends who you are close to.

All the best,
Maria

Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 04/08/2002 - 5:40 AM

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i am 31 years old.i have 4 kids that are in school.I myself applied myself in college and I can’t remember nothing after studying and studying .For my pschology test me and a friend that also take the class studyied all during spring break and also two hours before the test and I didn’t pass the test I made a 26.I told the professor how i studied and all he could say was “really”.I was so upset and embarressaed that i ran out and cried in my car.

Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 04/08/2002 - 5:44 AM

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i am 31 years old.i have 4 kids that are in school.I myself applied myself in college and I can’t remember nothing after studying and studying .For my pschology test me and a friend that also take the class studyied all during spring break and also two hours before the test and I didn’t pass the test I made a 26.I told the professor how i studied and all he could say was “really”.I was so upset and embarressaed that i ran out and cried in my car.
There’s something wwrong with me.I am in a learning support class for the second sememster.I have atutor in math that is very wonderful.I can do the algebra problems with him and do it so well and undrrstand it better with him but when it’s time for the test..BOOM it’s gone.I said if I don’t get passed this Learning Support class at the end of the semester I will not return anymore cause college just might not be fore me/.
In my Learning support english class i can’t even write a decent essay paper like i want.

Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 04/08/2002 - 5:44 AM

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i am 31 years old.i have 4 kids that are in school.I myself applied myself in college and I can’t remember nothing after studying and studying .For my pschology test me and a friend that also take the class studyied all during spring break and also two hours before the test and I didn’t pass the test I made a 26.I told the professor how i studied and all he could say was “really”.I was so upset and embarressaed that i ran out and cried in my car.
There’s something wwrong with me.I am in a learning support class for the second sememster.I have atutor in math that is very wonderful.I can do the algebra problems with him and do it so well and undrrstand it better with him but when it’s time for the test..BOOM it’s gone.I said if I don’t get passed this Learning Support class at the end of the semester I will not return anymore cause college just might not be fore me/.
In my Learning support english class i can’t even write a decent essay paper like i want.

Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 04/09/2002 - 4:52 PM

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My sister, Monica is a Special Ed/Elementary Ed Teacher. She will grad. this year at Ball State in Indiana. She might be able to help you guy’s out. You can contact her at [email protected].

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 04/18/2002 - 5:11 AM

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I’m proud that you are dealing with it and so am I. I was a teacher for 20 yrs with AD/HD, but didn’t have the courage to get tested and receive treatment until Feb 2000. I was hit head on leaving school in May of 2000 and now my AD/HD is out of whack. I understand exactly what you are saying. I’m attempting college, but am struggling. I want to design a website for teachers so that they would gain more understanding and quit punishing children when their impairments come in the way of learning. I do see the need now of designing one for adults because such little info is out there. Since I now work so slow and am still recovering from the accident, I don’t have time to search for the necessary info for adults. I will do that later. Your message really redirected my thinking. I need to talk to other adults with it and find out 3what they want to know first. However, my own AD/HD and cognitive problems is keeping the Bureau of Voc Rehab from wanting to help me get the adaptive techn and training that I need. I haven’t quit the fight to get the tech skills that I need, but do get discouraged at times. Let’s win this battle together, not only for us, but others who desperately need a chance to succeed. More focus has to be on the strengths and not the impairments. I know that learning to manage the weaknesses can free us to enjoy the strengths that accompany AD/HD.

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