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LD and Anxiety

Submitted by an LD OnLine user on

Hi,

I’m so glad to see that LD OnLine has included this board now.

I’m currently a stay-at-home mom and a former (I say that loosely) special ed teacher. I’ve tried teaching preschool, being a secretary, back to being a teacher (special ed - resource room), sales, teacher’s assistant, tutor, you name it.

It seems like a self-fullfilling proficy at this point, but I keep on losing or leaving jobs. I am so anxious and feel so hopeless at this point.

I need to earn an income. I’d like to figure out what I can do best and do it, successfully. I know I’m a good mom, but unfortunately there are no financial rewards for that.

I was retested as an adult and one of the suggestions made was to to try to find a job using my writing ability. How do you do that with a special ed degree that you’re not using?

Also, it was probably a combination of anxiety, not to mention a lousy school of education, but I never learned how to be a teacher very well. When I worked one-on-one with a student I did fine. I felt no pressure because this child was so severely LD (we actually think it was brain damage rather than LD) that there were no iep goals for her. I did so well and she thrived. But as soon as I have someone watching over me and making demands or expectations of me I freeze and get nervous and fail.

Have any of you gone through this and what finally helped you to overcome it?

Thanks.

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 04/11/2002 - 5:10 AM

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HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT PRIVATE TEACHING, OR STARTING YOUR OWN BUSINESS LIKE CHILD CARE FOR THE CHILDREN WITH LD. YOU HAVE A DEGREE IN THIS FIELD AND YOU GOOD AT IT START YOUR OWN BECAUSE I LOVE TO SEND MY CHILD OR GRANDCHILDREN TO SOMEONE SPECIAL LIKE YOURSELF THEY ONLY LOOKING OVER SHOULDERS BECAUSE THEY GAVE UP ON THE STUDENT AND YOU DIDNT. DO NOT LET THEM GET TO YOU AND LET THEM KNOW THERE ARE MAKING YOU UNEASY. AND YOU CAN SAY EXCUSE ME DO YOU NEED ME FOR SOMETHING IF NOT I WOULD LIKE TO HELP THIS STUDENT AND WE CAN DISCUSS WHATEVER IS BOTHERING YOU ABOUT MY PROGRESS WITH THE STUDENTS PRIVATELY THANK YOU.

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 04/11/2002 - 4:13 PM

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Joan,

Thanks for responding. I was really fortunate because nobody was looking over my shoulder when I worked with that one student. I wish I could have been as strong as you suggest when I was in the resource room or in other positions.

I’ve thought about tutoring again. Since you brought that up, maybe that would be the best place for me to be. I was working with LD kids to help them with reading.

Thanks again. It helps to vent and get suggestions.

How have you been successful in your career and life?

LDMom

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 04/11/2002 - 9:15 PM

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Hey LD mom…
We need to talk…read my message “Years of Tears as well as my reply to a reply”. I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL!!!
Georgia

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 04/11/2002 - 9:33 PM

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Hi Georgia,

I’d love to read your years of tears message but I can’t find it.

Can you direct me?

Thanks.

Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 04/12/2002 - 3:13 PM

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Hi Georgia,

I read your post on Years of Tears. Good luck getting back on the meds., hopefully you’ll begin to feel better soon.

You’re fortunate that you can do math well—I can’t balance my checkbook and math was my downfall in leasing.

I agree with the others—it sounds like you definitely do have visual and auditory LD. I do. I have a hard time with directions and receiving information verbally. I can’t take notes either. In school, when I went back for special ed. certification I was able to bring a tape recorder and the difference was dramatic. I went from B’s and C+’s to A- and B+ and I began to remember what I learned.

So, how are you proposing to start your business?

By the way, I’m changing my ID from LDMom to something else. I’ll let you know what it is as soon as I figure it out.

Submitted by Anonymous on Wed, 04/17/2002 - 4:07 AM

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Belife in the facts of my own abilities, and knowing what my boundries are, really helped me with those sort of feelings. Demanding and hovering behavior under normal cicumstances are signs that managment has real problems bounding expectations. So much so that they know no other recourse than to be interruptive and dysfunctional about their communication. The negativity in situations where you feel like that isn’t so much about your failings, whatever they might be, as it is about a person trying to use those sorts of characterizations as negative reenforcement. It’s also a good sign that whoever you’re dealing with doesn’t have a lot of skill in managment in many ways.

Trying to figure out what you own in those types of situations, and what’s your companies behavioral responsibilities in the situation isn’t easy. But starting out with negative and perjorative characterizations of ones self makes for a pretty rocky path.

Valuing and being aware of my own good intentions, and reminding others of theirs when things turn sour is something I’ve found quite helpful too.

Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 04/22/2002 - 11:18 PM

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Hello,

I also think it would be great idea, if you could do private tutoring. There are so many children, who could benefit by that. I wish there had been teachers who understood NVLD years ago, when I was in school. Also, I wish I could have afforded private tutoring for my Son, who spent most of his school years in Resource. As far I am concerned, that is where they babysit your kids. My Son feels now that he is at a great disadvantage, because of his years in Resource. I think if he had had private one on one tutoring with someone, who was experienced, in his particular learning disabiliy, he would have done a lot better. Good Luck to You!

Debbie

Submitted by Anonymous on Wed, 05/01/2002 - 5:44 AM

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I don’t really know what to say but I hope something good will happen. I met a friend Maria on this site she is very very smart and maybe able to offer advice. Best of luck.

Take care dee

Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 05/07/2002 - 3:37 PM

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Hi, my name is Sarah although I have not been diagnoised as having LD; I can’t help but to identify with you. When I read your letter it sounded just like me. I fail at everything. All my life I have been told that it was not what I thought it was, or to try harder. The harder I tried the harder I failed. I am like you if someone is watching me I get nervous and fail big time. Then I feel so embarressed when I get them looks of failure from people. I am a student in a local Community College trying to get my degree in Office Systems Technology. When exam time come I get so depressed because I don’t do as well as I like to. This semester I failed Keyboarding can you imagine that simple keyboarding. I can type but that timer get me so nervous I just can’t pass. I could write more but I will stop for now, However I did enjoy your message and you are not alone.

Sarah

Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 05/24/2002 - 6:29 AM

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The always failing at jobs thing, that could be caused by so many different types of learning disorders, but it sure sounds like ADD/ADHD to me.
If you haven’t tried medication, you are cheating yourself out of a chance to feel good about what you can do in your chosen career. Try it for one month, you will be amazed. It’s almost like you become capable of being perfect at whatever you choose to apply yourself to.

The anxiety thing when you are in situiations other than one-to-one with your students, that sounds like social phobia. Antidepressants help with this. Your doctor can recommend something like prozac or paxil, which, btw, you should be able to take while you are taking ADD medication. Try for 3 months, if it doesn’t work, ask your doc to check the dosage or change medications.

I wish I had some special skill like writing. That is a gift. Use it to help others. Maybe you could be some kind of writing tutor for special ed students.

Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 05/24/2002 - 6:33 AM

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ps. I forgot to mention, in case you really can’t tell by my lousy writing style, that I am not an expert or anything. Well, ok, maybe an expert at always screwing up at work, failing at school, and being nervous in almost all social situations.

The only time I was ever successful at anything was when I had insurance and medication. Also the only time I was ever punctual & well organized.

Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 05/25/2002 - 12:19 AM

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Beth,

Thanks for your input. Actually the anxiety issues mimic those of add. Unfortunately I’m not adhd and so they didn’t help. That would have been great if they had though. The working one-on-one is what I do best because I have trouble focusing on a lot of things/people/distractions at one time. It’s not a social phobia, although as an LD person my socialization skills are not as great as they could be. Ironically, I’m pretty outgoing but I don’t have many, many friends but a smaller amount of really, really good ones.

I appreciate your insights and truthfully medication does help with the anxiety. I’m hoping it will also help me to feel better about my abilities too. I know they’re there somewhere. It’s just finding them that’s hard.

Thanks for reviving this thread!

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