My son is in his 30’s & has a LD. Despite this he drives a car & holds down a decent full time job. What is sadly lacking is a social life. He has joined church groups etc.. but in this area most of the young people his age are professional, out of his league. Having a social outlet would make such a difference. Does anyone know of a social group for the LD in the NYC area?
Re: Social life for LD
I have a 23 year old daughter who has the same difficulties in socializing. It was explained to me that with LD it is difficult for them to read people. Now days I can understand that. Thus, people pick and bully her. It is frustrating and since we are in upstate NY there seems to be no social support for young adults with LD. She too drives, owns her car and works a full time job. I sometimes hope that she might find someone to write back and forth too. I think as parents the best we can do is point them in the right direction. This is the first time I’ve been on this site and I am hoping it is a positive tool and I can suggest it to my daughter.
If anyone knows of a social support outlet in upstate NY, please write to me.
Re: Social life for LD
It is sad….. LD people have so much trouble getting social with people…. The lady who said her son joins church groups to try to be social: Sigh…. Do not waste the time joining those groups. You should write to the state LD association and see if there are support groups for LD folks. Having LD is like the Black experience: unless you are one of them, there is no way to feel their pain.
Re: Social life for LD
I’m 47, LD and have no friends. I don’t have any idea what I do that turns people off. I guess I’m just one of those weird folks in life. I have had many jobs. I know a lot of people but there are no close friends. There is no social life, no holiday parties. I don’t know how to change me, and let’s face it— nobody is going to sit down and explain it to me face to face.
Re: Social life for LD
I’m amazed as I research for help for my 21yr old brother online what I read. I’m in Orlando looking for some social outlet for him. All my little brother does is work and sleep, he is stuck in the house with my elderly parents, who dont know what to do for him either….does anyone know of who I would contact to start a group, or maybe a government program to let someone know that there is a need for such a program to help adults with LD? if anyone is out there from Orlando, I would be willing to start something. Feel free to contact me at [email protected]
Re: Social life for LD
I’m 41 years old with ld with some social life. My advice is
to keep joining different social groups . I have some friends.
If he want s to meet people he needs meet his own age.You
must believe who accept as you are.Chris O
Social life
I agree. People should learn to accept us for who we are.
I have always had at least a handfull of good buddies.
I am 35 now. I have just seperated from my husband and moved home. I am finding it more difficult to make friends lately. I feel lonely and depressed and am getting the what’s wrong w/ me attitude. I haven’t felt that way since the 5th grade!!!
I’ve been going to church stuff and started a new job in a big store. I am feeling like an outsider big time.
I think I could be trying too hard. I am very bubbley. I think when I’m nervous I talk more than I ought to. Knowing that I am trying to work on my listening skills.
Mostly I’m learning that my family and cat are the only ones I can rely on. I’m trying to make a life for myself and it is hard.
I got my feelings hurt today on break b/c we were discussing tv shows and I said I like reality shows. This girl said she had a life and didn’t watch them. She also said why aren’t you drinking caffeine? I said b/c I’m already talkative and I talk more if I drink it. She goes well don’t drink any by all means. I felt like 5th grade all over again. It sucks!!! What do you do when you meet cruel people?
Re: Social life for LD
I wouldn’t be quite so honest with people I don’t know well, especially when they start out so snippy about your choice of TV material. Lots of people don’t drink cafeine—I would just say something like “it doesn’t agree with me, or I really don’t care for cafeinated drinks”.
You’re are right—those are fifth grade comments. They say more about her than you.
Beth
Re: Social life for LD
[quote:d0a781b229=”Anne Marie”]<HTML>My son is in his 30’s & has a LD. Despite this he drives a car & holds down a decent full time job. What is sadly lacking is a social life. He has joined church groups etc.. but in this area most of the young people his age are professional, out of his league. Having a social outlet would make such a difference. Does anyone know of a social group for the LD in the NYC area?</HTML>[/quote]
My son and I are reading this site together. He, too, has LD and yet has a good job and basically is self-supporting except that he lives at home with us since he has not found a circle of friends that are supportive. We live on Long Island and are looking for some type of group that might help him with some socialization and fun activities. He has tried single groups, on line match services, etc. but they do not fill the bill. Any suggestions would be appreciated. We can be reached on line at [email protected].
social skills
My daughter is 22 years old. She does not have any friends and just wants to be like everyone else. She is very depressed and is taking medication. She attends the Young adults institute, but still does not have anyone. She is very close to me and hates that I work. Maria cries all the time abd is very unhappy. People her own age just won’t give her a chance. She has a great heart and would be a good friend if someone would give her a chance. It breaks my heart to see her in so much pain all the time. I don’t know how to help her.
I,too, am an adult with LD...
[color=darkblue][/color]
As the subject line says, I,too am an adult with LD. And yes, my social life has suffered- What social life. I, too, have done the church thing as well.
Suffice it to say, it took me thirty years to learn that if you’re not “Normal, have money…” You’re SOL..and up the creek with out a paddle…You’re not wanted if you don’t fit in with their little program and game. Let’s face it, LD isn’t normal by their standards…and most often LD’s don’t have the $$ to help keep the poor man’s social club up and running- so, they’re going to make sure you don’t feel comfortable or fit in with them…anything to drive you away for whatever reason! I also learned that in my area, they’d rather embrace a child molester that preys on young boys and men- over someone with LD, was one of their own,(Being raised in the local Christian Community)with no money, so to speak…someone that would NEVER harm a child if she could help it….yeah, me…So, finding a social life in a church setting is the WORSE thing your son could do….(Could do more harm than good in the long run..)
It IS hard to cultivate a normal, healthy social life,having LD. Those I’ve called friends weren’t really friends at all…and most people don’t want to associate with people that have LD in a social setting….They don’t want to be humiliated, or are too concerned with what others would say and think IF they were seen in pubic with someone with LD. You’d think that those with LD are either Lepers or whatever…Sadly there is a stigmata surrounding LD…due to a lack of education on the subject directed at the general public…I guess they think that we’re to be kept hidden, out of sight, and out of mind- and definitely a source of shame, I think…at least it feels that way. And, has been that way to my experience.
When the truth is,if given a chance, people wtih LD CAN be good and loyal friends, and people worth knowing….
Genita
life is rough!!!
Hello: I am 49 years old with a mild case of ADD and very low self-esteem, and always, or at least it seems that I have always had great differculty in meeting people and forming any type of relationship. The only thing that can change a persons ability to make friends, is confidence in themselves. And the resources to pull from for subject material ( topics to talk about ). I would like to say that it gets easier, but inless a person is willing to change and can change the aspects of thier life that seems to draw them back, nothing will change! A job with lots of people or schools are a good place to meet people that you might like. With my current job I have made many trusted friends. But we hardly do any activities out side of work, so some might not consider them friends, but only close co-workers. In closing, I have to say that the only thing that can really help is a positive atitude, even if takes lying to yourself about how good or nice you are. I wish you all the luck in the world…. keep your chin up!!!!
Re: Social life for LD
I wouldn’t consider a lack of social life as a problem. Generally people are idiots; I tend to avoid them myself. I see social lives as unnecessary, especially in todays society. There’s plenty of things he could be doing that are more productive with his time—for instance: Growing intellectually, debating, education, and plotting mass murder.. j/k
“The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.” — Albert Einstein
Re: Social life for LD
Hello. I’m new to this forum, but I have been observing the differnet topics the last several months. I thought I would contribute to this topic… I’m a 34 year old male, who is single and have a little bit of a social life(I have a few friends and sort of a girlfriend). I think the older you get the more social you become. My LD/ADD affects me in a lot of FRUSTRATING ways. I think I have worked out the Social aspects fairly well(not always as good as I would like though)..I have lived in a few differnet States around the country and it has forced me to become more outgoing… each place you move from you have to meet new people, and I have become pretty good at that. I think what helps me out(at least with woman) is that I’m a pretty good looking guy(not to seem arrogant, but I have been told I look like a male model) so it helps me meeting woman. I have never been married and it seems due to my impulsitivity problems. I always pick the wrong woman(I realize this after moving in with them VERY shortly)…..I don’t know what to tell a lot of you who say they have no social life. I play sports a lot and that to me would be a good place to meet new people. I just think the older you get(especially older than 30) the harder it is to meet people in general. I have just learned to deal with it over the years. I usually have just one or two people I socialize with, the rest of the time I enjoy being by myself… I have had periods in my life without really any so called ‘friends’, but it seems like I have always had some tipe of social life due to the fact that i’m very conscious of not having one in my high school years, so I have really tried to be more outgoing and friendly with people the older I have got(in my youger years, high school, early 20’s, I was a little cocky and at the same time shy!). I admit it is hard AND sometimes VERY frustrating(I have the ADD temper problems and get angry easily). For those of you Mom’s out there with kids who have no or little social life, all I can say is try to encourge them to get out and do stuff they enjoy…if there doing activities they like, it might be easier for them to meet new people with similar interests…..
social life for ld
I am a mother of a gifted ld young adult in his early twenties.
I have been visiting this site for the past few years and always been amazed at the desparate need that many of our adults children exhibit
when it comes to finding a solution to the lack of social life . Part of it
has to do with the fact that they are misunderstood on one hand and
might not posess same level of social skills as their peers. Through the
years I have been trying to help my son to find social activities and
opportunities to build friendship. Being involved in a non for profit organization that promotes a hobby that he has, helps him to a certain degree but definetly does not serve as an answer to make him feel socially satisfied. He has no close friend and since finishing two year
college, not many social connections. i tried to connect him with activities
through agencies but found that they were geared to a moresevere
developmentally disabled population. I came to the point that i decided
that if i will not find s.t. for him I creat one on my own. I made some
inquiry and was told that finding a place for gathering such a group will
not be a problem. If I get cooperation from concern parents or ld adults
I would start one on my own. i would like to have ypur response and
suggestions as to what would you like to find in this activity which will run in NYC
try leisure connection at the YAI. call the organization and ask for link
department.We also live in the NYC area. My son is 21. Maybe they can e-mail each other.