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how many friends should an 8 year old girl have by now?

Submitted by an LD OnLine user on

Can anyone tell me where I can find out what the normal 8 year old child should be accomplishing now in terms of friends and outside interests? I need some help in this area. Thank you.

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 06/20/2002 - 5:57 PM

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I don’t think there is a normal. Is the child happy? My daughter, who is not LD, has always tended to have a very small circle of friends. When she was 8 she probably had three friends (people who she socialized with outside of school). She is in 6th grade now and has one best friend. She is happy though and doing well in school. My husband, like you, was worried about this and put pressure on her to increase her number of friends. Until I convinced him to lay off, their relationship was strained and she wasn’t making more friends.

Beth

Submitted by Anonymous on Sun, 06/23/2002 - 11:55 AM

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It’s a good question but the answer to it would vary widely. Some people are happy loners all their life. Some people pursue many otuside interests, others not.

I agree with the other poster. Does your child seem happy and content with her situation, whatever that might be? If not or if you’d like to have her/him consider making new friends or engaging in new activities, there can be many ways to go about that.

Submitted by Anonymous on Thu, 06/27/2002 - 9:18 PM

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I am a younger girl. I should be very helpful with this for I am in these situations. I don’t have LD though.

I’ve always had 5-7 good friends, although I tend to reach out to ‘new comers’. I’m sure that your daughter will grab the concept of friends, but until then, you should get her involved in after school activities. I personally like drama. Elementary schools don’t usually have drama, so there are programs that do have drama classes. I think that drama would be good, because you get to be someone else. You don’t have to be who you really are and your amagination gets to run wild! I hope this helped. Good Luck! :)

Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 06/29/2002 - 3:34 AM

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I would not worry much about how many friends she has. My son’s school spent a great deal of time telling us how he didn’t have or could not keep friends… With that in mind we invited 25 kids to his birthday party, hoping for 7 friends to come. ALL of them came!!! He seems to know everyone but only has a few close friends that change every year depending on who is in his class.

Just go over it with her. Is she happy? If not what could she do to make more friends? Is she scared of trying to make friends (like my son is)? Why? Give her ideas on how to make lasting friends and help make sure they keep in touch. You may find that she will giver herself the best advice if you let her talk about it.

I have also arranged for my son to attend a new Day-Camp (YMCA) this summer so that he would not have old friends in Day-Camp. This way he needs to make new friends. I also spoke with the Day-Camp admin’s about this and they have been a great help. In only a few weeks he has made new friends and is talking about how good he is at making friends now.

He has also been in Drama in one way or another for about 4 years and loves it. I would suggest it for anyone! Take them to theaters (not movies), your local Fine Arts Center and let them learn about local history. My son takes great pride in his extensive knowledge of local history. He has even corrected the teacher a few times this last year…

Jay

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