My LD son just turned 18 last week. He is in the 11th grade. He has always worked very hard at school, friends and his part time job. His repeated failures and disappointments have been difficult, but he seemed to find the strength to pick himself up and go on. Over the past few months, I have noticed increasing hopelessness. He says he believes he is resigned to a life where he will never find success. His LD influences his part time job, because he is unable to remember certain details (location of supplies, price of items, etc) that coworkers tackle with ease. He is frustrated that he is not included in invitations to hang out with friends or parties. His self esteem is incredibly low.
His father and I divorced several years ago and his father feels no responsibility to help prepare our son for the future. Our son was diagnosed LD in second grade, and just getting his father to allow to have him tested was a fight to the finish. His father states that our son will be fine….that all he needs is just to know he is loved, and everything else in his future will just “work itself out”.
Consequently,througout my son’s life, I have been the sole advocate. Accomodations, tutors, physicians, specialists, counselors….any intervention for my son has been arranged by me.
I am physcially, mentally and emotionally at the end of my rope. I realize that I cannot project this hopelessness to my son- how can I expect him to be hopeful when his own mother isn’t? But I have run out of options to help him, and quite honestly, I feel hopeless. I cannot admit to anyone that I believe my son is destined to a life full of failure and broken dreams; and I’ve exhausted every reason for trying to instill hope in him that somehow, today will be different.
I have had counseling (and my son is currently in counseling and taking an antidepressant)- I have blamed myself and spent years of my life feeling that if I were just stronger or somehow a better parent- my son would not have to suffer.
I am fully aware that I cannot help him unless I am strong, but honestly, I’m not sure I can endure another day of the pain caused by his unhappiness or watching him struggle.
Sara545— welcome to LDonline.
Of course you worry about your child and are concerned for his future. Blaming yourself will not help your son and it is not beneficial to you either. There is a new documentary on Dyslexia that is airing on HBO this month that focuses raising awareness and on giving hope for the future. It might be worth viewing together.
What are your sons strengths? What are his interests? What type of accommodations does your son have? Where are his greatest challenges? What
compensations skills is he developing? What types of assistive technology does he use?
Asking for help and seeking out a qualified counselor is a way to get answers and deal with the challenges that those with processing deficits or LDs often face.
It can be difficult and you. You may feel isolated in dealing with the challenges that you and your son are and have been facing. Rest assured you are not alone. Many have worn similar shoes.
Take a look at the free resources on this web site and check out the resources available on LDOnline’s Learning Store: http://www.learningstore.org/
Best wishes .
[Modified by: dhfl143 on October 26, 2012 11:24 PM]
Sara, You are a good mama. Keep his deams and hopes alive… pray a lot. Please read my email I sent to you.