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16yo son with ld I have many questions

Submitted by an LD OnLine user on

Hi everyone!!

I just foung this site, I wish I would have found you all many years ago. I will try to give you a brief history. I would appreciate any & all advice, be bold & up front with me, as Ryan is 16 & we need to plan fast.

Ryan is my 1st born, normal pg c-sect delivery at 40 weeks, I was a SAHM so Ryan was with me 24/7, he had what I considered a normal toddler growing phase..I decided against preschool as I thought we were doing fine with speech, abc’s colors, etc….took him to the K screening at the local public school & all *ell broke loose in our lives so to speak…

They told me he was prob ADD because he would not sit at a desk like the 20 other children (my fault for not sending him to pre K), they said he only tested at 75% & needed to be 90% to start K….I sent him to one week of bible school & we preacticed the things on the test he got “wrong”…he went back to retest at the end of summer & got a 95%….K teacher tried to switch him from writing with his L hand to using his R hand…she was a horrible teacher…He had a great 1st grade teacher & made lots of progress even earning the “Most Improved” student award…2nd grade teacher did not want to be “bothered with a slow student” as she put it….3rd grade teacher was an angel & still is….she taught him over & above & she “cared about us”…since I was in the middle of a divorce by then, I gave in & let them test him, but I insisted on a psychologist outside the school…Ryan did not have ADD or ADHD…but they did decide after numerous tests that he had LD, I signed the IEP & he started spending part of the day in SE…bad teachers again in 4th, 5th & bad science teacher in 8th….he did most of his core classes in SE….Ryan was on the principal’s honor roll last year with a 4.0gpa…I am so proud of him…

Now for the questions:

Ryan is very very introverted…he prefers his room..even though he is 16 he has no desire to drive, date, go out with the guys or anything.

For his junior year of HS he is taking vo-tech Auto mechanics, government (reg class) English 3(SE) & learning skills (SE)….I want to have him tested again to see if he still needs the IEP…he is nervous about testing of any kind.

Any one else out there wanna help me with this?? Do I encourage college?? military?? jr college?? job?? license??

my email addy: [email protected]

thanks for caring!!! LL

Submitted by Helen on Mon, 07/07/2003 - 9:46 PM

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I think that you need to dig up any reports you have from testind done on your child. If you haven’t the copies you can go to the school/school district and request a copy of his file. They might charge you for the copy. It is difficult for us to advice without knowing scores and diagnosis. If you post scores (standard scores are the ones that can be compared over time) people could better advice you. Give the age of the testing when you post. The important scores are the IQ and the achievement testing (reading, writing and math). Also what LD did they say he has?

Helen

Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 07/08/2003 - 1:16 AM

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Sounds to me like you’re doing ok and Ryan’s grades sure are impressive. As to what type of ld etc., that will make some difference with some advise you get here. Definitely get copies of all records if you don’t have them.

Our son is ld, predominantly dyslexic/dysgraphic (as am I). Ours is in Junior College, taking longer than some to get his AA. He is one class away from getting the general ed AA, and is now excited about taking the next 3 semesters needed to get the AA in Business… go figure!

Regarding a 16 year old boy wanting time alone, they/we all mature at different rates. He needs to find what excites him and he’ll open up. I am guessing, but he may be trying to insulate himself from discomfort and failure. If he likes the auto shop, maybe a part time job at a mechanic’s shop is possible. He could talk to his teacher who probably knows many people in the industry. He could earn some pocket money and credit… who knows? Mostly, he needs to find success in what ever areas and then build on that.

I hope things go well for you both.

Good luck and best regards.

Andy

Submitted by socks on Tue, 07/08/2003 - 10:47 AM

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I’m with Andy,
sounds to me like your kid is doing quite well.

At 16 he still has a alot of growing to do. Tommorow he might not be as introverted. Unless he shows signs of depression I wouldn’t worry. They change with the wind.

He is looking for his niche in life,just like any of us do,allow him to do this..

Submitted by Janis on Tue, 07/08/2003 - 1:32 PM

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I am glad he is doing well, too, but I’ll have to agree with Helen, we’d need to see test scores. Making A’s in special ed. classes is not the same as regular ed. So he could actually be reading below grade level and making good grades in special ed. If it has been nearly 3 years since his last re-evaluation at school, you can ask for a new evaluation. Or, you can have the testing done privately. Whether he goes to a technical school or regular college will largely depend on whether his academic skills have been remediated or not. So you do need testing to determine that.

Janis

Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 07/11/2003 - 8:59 PM

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While we’d all like to see our children having fun and happy, does Ryan seem unhappy in his room? Some people are very happy as ‘loners’.

As to what he should do, what are his plans? When you ask him, what does he say about it? What’s he thinking he would like to do? I note that he’s taking auto mechanics. Maybe he has a sort of a plan.

There’s no one right answer to what any one should do after high school but it’s never wrong to take into considertation his interests and thoughts.

Good luck.

Submitted by Janis on Fri, 07/11/2003 - 9:10 PM

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I should have added, my teenagers also live in their rooms! They did however, have real interest in driving. Not going out with boys his age is a blessing. But I would try to ascertain if he is depressed.

Janis

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