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8yr old daughter's frustration...

Submitted by an LD OnLine user on

My 8 yr old 2nd grade daughter has just had her IEP written, placed in an inclusive classroom for reading/language and math, and attends speech therapy 2 times a week. The rest of the time she is with her 2nd grade class (very little time). The teachers/administrators are working on her “scheduling” of classes, being that she leaves her “regular” 2nd grade classroom, for her “special education”. She even attends a gym class with another 2nd grade teacher to accomodate the “reading” schedule.

My daughter complains of not spending any time with her 2nd grade class, constantly “bopping” around from classroom to classroom for instruction. She has even said that the inclusive spec. ed. teacher yells at her. (I have confirmed this with another mother who’s child is in the classroom). We have an appointment to discuss this with the teacher.

Our case Mgr. (school psychologist) asks that my daughter takes some time to get used to the changes. My daughter is miserable, and is always crying. Her spirit seems to be broken, and I’m afraid she will begin to hate school. She never did before.

I don’t know what to do for her, we keep telling her to try to get used to it…

I’m at a loss for words, my friends are tired of listening to me,

is it normal for a 2nd grader to be shuffled around all day long?

Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 02/28/2004 - 5:24 AM

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If this were my child, I would take her out of special ed entirely and do private remediation. Her point of view is perfectly valid, and apparently she has more sense than the school does. Trying to get a school to change can be a losing battle, though.

If you cannot afford a private tutor, then I would suggest you get the book “Reading Reflex” by McGuiness (under $20 at bookstores, or check your library). This book is written specifically for a parent who wants to tutor a child at home. I would also recommend getting the Sound Reading CD (http://www.soundreading.com , about $60) and having your daughter work on that for 15 minutes per day on a computer at home.

The school thinks it is doing a good job, but instead it is creating a hostile environment. Stress interferes with learning, and misery is a form of intense stress.

Nancy

Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 02/28/2004 - 5:24 AM

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If this were my child, I would take her out of special ed entirely and do private remediation. Her point of view is perfectly valid, and apparently she has more sense than the school does. Trying to get a school to change can be a losing battle, though.

If you cannot afford a private tutor, then I would suggest you get the book “Reading Reflex” by McGuiness (under $20 at bookstores, or check your library). This book is written specifically for a parent who wants to tutor a child at home. I would also recommend getting the Sound Reading CD (http://www.soundreading.com , about $60) and having your daughter work on that for 15 minutes per day on a computer at home.

The school thinks it is doing a good job, but instead it is creating a hostile environment. Stress interferes with learning, and misery is a form of intense stress.

Nancy

Submitted by pattim on Sat, 02/28/2004 - 5:49 PM

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to collaborate with the teacher. I do this with many of my students as they don’t like the ping-pong day…they feel fractured…they can’t handle regular ed but they also don’t like going to special ed unless we are working on what they are working on in the classroom. Also up the ante with private remediation. I have found that the children who are most successful have private remediation or speech therapy at home. I had to do this with my own child as her problems were too complex to be solved by the school district alone. cost me a bloody fortune and caused me to change my career midlife but to see my daughter in high school and mainstreamed was worth it.

Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 02/28/2004 - 6:18 PM

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Ah yes, the downside of pull-out services. The constant coming and going is a legitimate problem and shouldn’t be something thought of us the Nature of the Beast.

My son was in constant Interrupt Mode. Halfway through science time, pull out for speech. Halfway through Math time, pull out for resource. His desk had to be by the door so he wouldn’t disrupt the regular ed class with his constant coming and going. Well if it’s disruptive to observers, just imagine how it feels to the kid coming and going!

He goes to an LD school now. The pull out in the public school was one of the main reasons.

The school will tell you that they try to create a schedule that is least disruptive, but it’s tough for them to create a schedule that is perfect for each child.

My son was too far behind to survive in the regular ed class and just do private remediation.

Submitted by Anonymous on Sat, 02/28/2004 - 9:34 PM

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No, it’s certainly not normal but it can happen. And it’s always less than ideal. One of my own sons had a similar schedule and in the second grade too but it was years after that when he finally told us how much he had disliked it.

It may be all they can offer you but you can play around with the permutations and think it all through. Your post doesn’t say why exactly she’s pulled to an inclusive (?) classroom for reading/math.

If her reading/math classroom is inclusive, as you say, why couldn’t she stay there all the time except for her speech therapy?

What would happen if she stayed with her reg. 2nd grade all the time only leaving for speech therapy?

Which teacher - the reg. teacher or the inclusive teacher is the better teacher for your child? As you consider what to do, I’d observe both teachers and see if one seems a better match for your child than the other I’d also say this school year is almost over. What about next year? Put your ear to the ground and try to pick up on what next year’s teachers are like and would there be one that would be a good match for your child?

Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 03/23/2004 - 3:58 AM

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Our son, now in 3rd grade at a private LD school, also suffered through the stress of the ping-pong day through 2nd grade. Was clinically depressed by March of second grade and made little/no progress, despite considerabe outside support. The child who couldn’t read had muddle through Spanish. The child who excelled in math missed math class but sat through music. His IEP reading component was in the last the 30 minutes of the day; the resource teacher would complain that he “wouldn’t concentrate” or “couldn’t sit still”. -His hardest challenge, placed at the end of the day with other kids with similar situations. Go figure. If we’d stayed in the system, I would have tried to address this nonsense schedule. By the time we understood what was really happening, we were appalled by the lack of consideration for the child. The lack of coordination between the classroom schedule and the resource room was unconscionable. I applaud you for being so in tune with your child and the effects of such a schedule.

Submitted by victoria on Tue, 03/23/2004 - 5:40 AM

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This is a tricky one. The resource teacher has to work the full day to make a living. She has to serve as many kids as possible during the school day. *Somebody* has to get the undesirable spot at the end of the day, and *somebody* has to get the undesirable spot right after lunch. Who do we put there, the Grade 5 and 6 kids who are getting too big for their britches and are very disruptive at the end of the day, or the little kids who are tired? Admittedly it is not an ideal situation, but sometimes compromises have to be made. It would be good if you could sit down with the teacher and talk over the parameters of the scheduling; maybe changes are possible, and maybe she is already stretched beyond her limits.

One time my daughter simply couldn’t get the classes she wanted in high school. This was a big high school with over 3000 students, so it was as complex as scheduling university classes. We knew her guidance counsellor (a rare breed, an excellent and caring high school guidance scounsellor) pretty well by that time, and we knew the chaos of new people arriving at a big school with no pre-planning, so I asked if I could take the schedule print-outs to a table and work things out for her — in fact I did that for myself in Grade 12 and it was a weird schedule with mobile lunch but it worked. Well, I spent two hours trying every possible permutation for my daughter and I kept coming out with a conflict. Finally I stopped that method and sat down and listed all the options and all the class periods they were offered in. Guess what? She wanted seven classes and they were offered in six class periods. Not a one of her chosen options was offered in period seven. Obviously it could not be done, no way nohow. She had to change one option, a pity but there are limits in life.

Submitted by Anonymous on Mon, 05/17/2004 - 6:00 PM

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I appreciate all of the responses.

Since my Feb. posting, (3 months ago) we have had an elevated stress level in our home due to the “scheduleing” of my daughter. At one point the special ed teacher and myself had a heart to heart about my daughter. It seemed the teacher was stressed as well with the constant influx of new students that had just been placed.

Amber’s reading ability has gotten better due to the additon of corrective glasses. But her confidence level is still at an all time low.

The latest review received from the teachers is that Amber needs to concentrate in class more, and needs to apply herself.

The at home tutor can’t understand why my daughter is having such a problem in class, when she does the work at home without mistakes.

We are holding out for 3rd grade, totally inclusive class placement, with no movement for other subjects except speech.

This summer brings her a math tutor, and a specialized reading camp.

We shall wait and see.

Submitted by Anonymous on Tue, 05/18/2004 - 4:42 PM

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DesignMom, I think you are on the right and only road — pullout and sped are not helpful for every child — many variables are necessary for it to work and the wrong program with the wrong kid is — well, I DON’T have to tell you, you’ve lived it! The school was pushing us that way in Gr. 2, and after testing and some of what you have experienced, we said NO THANKS quite emphatically in early Gr. 3. I knew it was the right decision when the nightmares, meltdowns, and morning stomach aches stopped!

Keep telling her that there is a mismatch between some learners and the ‘way school works’ — and that as she matures, her tutor (and parents) will help her develop the skills to be successful at school also. It is as much their (school’s) problem as hers — but they must teach many many kids and therefore some kids get sidelined. Her job is to learn how to figure out what they want, and how to give it to them. In our house, a C is ‘cool enough’ becuz we work at home to enhance the areas where his talents lie — we’ll be ready when his abilities mature to help him find his ‘true path’ towards the adult world of work.

IN the ‘regular program’, we’ve had our share of d’s and r’s (f’s in modern lingo) but we have told him ‘marks do not define you, they tell you where you are and where you need to go’. THIS, to me, is far better than an alternate marking scheme in SPED, which I was assured was necessary to save my darling’s self-esteem — sorry, I disagreed and still do. Our struggle is not over, but then life is NEVER easy, is it?

Plan to spend lots of entertainment $ at the bookstore — the act of choosing a book makes it much more attractive, provided she has the appropriate help to read it until she is ready herself. (I’m a huge believer in ‘assisted reading’ outloud, where you choose a book that is as close as possible to their level and help them over the rough spots to enhance their pleasure in reading.)

When my 2nd grader found Captain Underpants (Dav Pilkey), he for the first time EVER wanted to read — it was no longer a distasteful chore but became something he WISHED to improve in order to read these funny books. We have never looked back. In 5th Grade, reading is now in place — grade level at least, and getting better all the time; we’re working on spelling and writing (improving), and math will continue to be a struggle as it was for me — however, we WILL get there!

And so will your daughter…!
Best wishes…

Submitted by Janis on Tue, 05/18/2004 - 5:29 PM

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Just a note regarding terms. Inclusion is the regular class setting where some kind of special services (direct or consultation) are received. A resource room or setting is when the child is pulled out of the regular classroom and worked with by a special ed. teacher for remediation. An inclusion special ed. teacher is one who works with children while they are IN the regular classroom. It’s not inclusion if the child is pulled out of the regular class.

(And I agree with everyone else who says, forget school special ed. and get the remediation privately if possible. You may need to keep an IEP on a consultation basis for accommodations, however.)

Janis

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