I have a nine year old fourth grader. He has recently been diagnosed with adhd with dyspraxia, learning disability in writing, and having components of NVLD. I will be starting a mediation process because the school feels he doesn’t truly need help - it’s all his fault due to his behaviour. He is a mild boy who wishes to do good, but will fight what he views as unfair treatment. He scored very high on the academic skills, but has weakness in many areas. I am finding that the school will not work with me and am forced to work with an advocate on finding the best road to take.
My question is How does one “figure” out what is best for a child? What has other parents found to be helpful? Are there things to look out for? I am very confused and feel helpless at this time. Any suggestions and/or comments will be much appreciated.
Re: advice
First, do a lot of reading about your son’s issues. Second, see if there is a support group in your area. They’re a good source of information and often can give you some information on your district’s special ed policies and problems and how other districts handle similar problems. They can also direct you to experts who can help. Read the LD in depth section and others like it.
I have always found it is better to work cooperatively with my son’s school than in a controntation manner. I talk to everyone involved quietly before any meetings and try to influence the outcome. If all else falls, then by all means use an advocate. But don’t start off there unless you know what you want and aren’t getting it.
Re: advice
Thank you for your advice. I have tried this tactic. The problem with my son is multi-fold. He needs constant one-on-one help. He needs someone to keep checking up on him. He will be going to a middle school next year and I’m not sure how this should be addressed. In addition, his motor output is lagging way behind (by about 2 grade levels) which the school feels is not that big of a deal. He needs step-by-step supervision across the board. When this doesn’t happen, then behavioral problems develop such as defiance and shut-down. The school feels that they have given him the tools but that he isn’t utilizing them. I feel that he doesn’t know how to utitlize them. BIG difference. Any ideas?
Hi! I do not know if this will help, but this is what I have done with my LD daughter now in 6th grade. I probably know her better than the teachers, so I figure I know more than they do about her problems. I write down what she can do, and then I write down what she can’t do. I write down what I see as where she needs help and try to come up with suggestions that will help those needs. Example for a few years now the school always wants to put organizational items in her goals, but his is not one of her problems. She is better organized than most adults. She gets great grades for a ld student, but works hard to get them.One of her weaknesses is her phonics. She just does not know the rules, so I feel this should be an area that her goals should address. Sometimes you have to push the school, but pick your battles. It is a game of give and take. It shouldn’t be, but it is. Also at the school keep in mind who you are talking to. If it is the principal-it is a money time thing. If it is special ed teacher it is can I work on the problem and when will I have the time. If it is the regular ed teacher-it may be I do not know how to handle this problem. Think about what you want the child to be able to do. If it is more than one thing-then take it slow and address one thing at a time. I am not an expert, but this is how I go about my daughters problem.