How was your child evaluated?

You won’t want to hear this, but my experience is that my own attitude that my child could not possibly have ADHD (because he wasn’t hyperactive) and that I would never consider giving him medication cost him two years of great unhappiness. My own fears led me to deny that there could be something wrong with him. It was a big mistake on my part and I deeply regret it. If you don’t like the school’s evaluator, why don’t you find a private specialist whose credentials you trust and have your daughter thoroughly evaluated. If they find nothing, then you can tell the school so. If they find a problem, at least you’ll know what it is and can review your options for what to do about it.

It is not only that she is not hyperactive. She has no problem whatsoever concentrating. Her problem is that when things do not go her way she gets angry. Half the time it involves the same 2 girls at school. DD and another girl are friends with Ryan. But the 3 cannot play together at the same time. And if DD does not get to sit next to Ryan she gets mad.

I don’t have a problem specificly with the psychologist. But I know that in this district he tends to tell parents to use the meds. I mean he REALLY pushes them. I thinkt hat he goes inot these evaluations already “knowing’ what the results will be. I do not want that branded on her. Does that make sense?

Some people tried to tell me my son was ADHD because of problems he was having. But I found it it was that he was being bullied at school and the teachers and EAs were not doing anything about it. Once those bullies moved up to middle school DS was fine. Also one of his best friends had ADHD and even I could see teh diffrences int he boys. ANd that was with t he other boy being on his meds.

Thank you for talking with me.

It is important to remember that this decision is entirely up to you. No one else has a right to tell you what to do or even to know what you decide. You sound like a great advocate, and I doubt you will have any big trouble. I have heard stories similar to yours, and I find it distressing. Non-medical people don’t feel free to tell me (unless I ask them) whether I need antibiotics or not, or what I should to about my blood pressure. So why do teachers feel they have a right to tell you how to make this particular medical decision? They certainly have a right to tell you what problems your child is having and to expect you to participate in a solution, but they have no right to dictate a diagnosis or treatment. Not even a doctor has that right, except in certain very limited life-and-death situations. So do what you think is right, and don’t be afraid to tell them that they are out of line for making medical recommendations without an MD. I think if you are really clear with them about your stand, you will get a lot less harrassment.

Good luck!

I agree with Steve, it is up to you. If you do not feel that there is enough problems to warrant an evaluation, you can refuse. You also have the choice of doing something privately if you fear bias from the school personal. I know that if I could change one thing that I did when getting my dd evaled, it would have been to give the outside PhD and MD the testing results from the school AFTER they did their own eval. Not that I think that it would have changed the results, but I would have liked to get an opinion that didn’t have a seed already sown as to what was going on with my dd. Also, if you choose to go ahead with the assessment, it doesn’t mean you have to follow through with recomendations, and the school PhD cannot write or recommend meds, it’s out of their field, they can only refer you for a consultation with someone that can prescribe.
If you find that this school PhD is pushing you to seek meds for your child, I would suggest that you remind him that meds are seldom, if ever the only answer to treating disorders, and they needn’t always be the first step. If meds are ever going to work as part of a treatment plan, everyone (Doc’s and caregivers, and even patient) need to be on board with it. Personally, I’m an advocate of meds, but it really irritates me when I hear meds being tauted as the be-all, end-all to treatment.

Girls! They drive me nuts with their complicated social interactions. The three girls need to be given some tools from adults on how to play as a three-some. Some girls have a very difficult time with this and there is still a lot of time left to the school year. The teacher needs to separate them totally for academic time. All the teachers that we have been involved with will generally separate best friends because they get too exclusive and sometimes whisper and make the other girls feel uncomfortable. Maybe the psychologist can help the girls during recess to work things out better. Intimate 1 on 1 interaction between girls should be outside of school. The teacher should not be afraid of an emotional explosion from your daughter if she keeps all three of the girls apart during academic times otherwise your daughter’s behavior is reinforced.

If the teacher thinks that there are other problems that suggest ADD then you may want to go observe the class to see for yourself. I have a good friend that teachers K-G and she encourages parents to come to school and observe their children when there are problems. She says that helps tremendously to get parents and teachers to agree that there is a problem and possibly even a probable diagnosis. She has been teaching for 30 years. Is this teacher a young inexperienced teacher?

Terry

Steve and Roxie have both given good advice. I just want to add that I would have never guessed my child would be diagnosed ad/hd inattentive. She was evaluated by a vision specialist with results that showed severe perceptual (visual processing) impairment. She was tested by the school SLP and auditory processing problems were found. We were told she had some significant memory issues (tested at 8%). We had her privately tested because waiting for the schools is to wait months. We did bring all of our results with us to the dr who specializes in neurodevelopmental exams. All of us thought we were looking for a learning disability. Half way through the exam the dr turned to me and said this child has no learning disability. I was very surprised. It turns out the ad/hd is the root of the problem for her. I would have never guessed it could affect so many things academically.

If you are really uncomfortable with the school staff and you feel there is a problem then I would also suggest you look for somebody private. Another option would be if your district is big enough is to see if there is somebody else you would feel more comfortable using. The problem with the schools is they take forever. We would still be waiting if we had gone that route. We also would have had our daughter being diagnosed differently since they can’t make a medical diagnoses. They would have looked at all of the little pieces and most likely determined an LD, developed an iep and put her into special classes. I don’t have a problem with that if that is what she needs. She does need remedial help but is now at grade level. In fact, she just earned student of the month for February and that is something I would have never thought possible! She is on meds. Part of that decision was based on the fact that she is already doing several things like Vision therapy, after school academic program, remedial reading classes and we didn’t want her whole life to be therapy.

On the other hand, I truly believe my other daughter would also be diagnosed ad/hd but in a more traditional girl way. We haven’t determined whether to have her evaluated or not. She is not affected the same way and I think that I would not put her on meds. Academically, she does well but grades suffer for lack of organization reasons. But, it’s not like she can’t do it or would require special education services otherwise. Her kindergarten teacher did tell me many years ago that she thought she had add. I said, no way! I didn’t know what I do now. However, the point is I said to the teacher, “let’s try some other interventions first. If at the end of the marking period we don’t see an improvement then we can talk about testing.” She did improve because she needed more feedback on a daily basis. She needed to know what was acceptable behavior and what wasn’t.

I don’t think there are any two ad/hd kids exactly alike. If you feel your child needs an evaluation then do it how YOU want it done. This is your baby and there’s nothing wrong with saying that to the school. If you think something more of an academic intervention like tutoring would help then try that first. It sounds like you believe the problem could be more of a social issue. Many times troubled peer relationships do go hand in hand with ad/hd. However, does your school have peer mediation? Maybe try that or get the guidance counselors involved. Maybe you can see how that goes and go from there. If she’s not involved in things outside of school maybe see if you can get her into 4H or something like that where she can develop different friendships and then see that maybe this other one isn’t all she thought it was. I also think that girls at certain ages can be really mean to eachother. This way you can kind of rule things out as you go.

The idea of going to her school to observe strikes me as a good one. Frankly, if the only problem is that she gets angry when she doesn’t get to sit next to her friend, I can’t imagine why the school would suggest an evaluation. How old is she? I suppose if she is 12 years old and this happens, that might be a bit unusual, but it sounds like fairly normal behavior in early elementary school, albeit behavior that may be disruptive in the classroom. How are your daughter’s grades? Does she have any difficulty with reading, writing or motor skills? Does she finish her school and homework? In general, is she able to make and keep friends? Is she easily frustrated at home? Does she tend to lose things or forget things she needs? What does her backpack look like? Is it filled with crumpled up paper? While you are at school, be sure to take a peek into her desk. Some children with inattentive ADHD exhibit mostly problems with physical and mental organization along with a tendency to be easily frustrated and, when frustrated, to become quite emotional. These kids tend to find everything hard “boring.” Motor skills and social skills may also be an issue. From what you’ve said, it is difficult to see why the school would think ADHD is an issue, but ask yourself some of these questions and, if any strike a bell with you, think about having her evaluated. From your description of the school psychologist, I would think that the best way to do this would be using a private person.

Doreen

Sometimes, social problems can be the tip off to other issues. I have no idea if that ‘s the case here at all. But I remember my own child - his biggest issue in 1st grade was social. The academic deficits became obvious later on, and now we are looking into his attentional issues.

I also remember a girl in my daughters kindergarten class last year. It was subtle, but as a mom of an LD child I could just feel there was something going on with this child. It also showed up in social situations, and now I hear that in 1st grade the parents are looking into learning issues.

Sometimes a teacher may feel that something is wrong. They are in no way qualified to diagnose what that problem may be - could be emotional, immaturity, LD, whatever. But they may the first one to note that something is just not quite right.

Having said that, I’d be very reluctant to trust an advisor that immdiately suggested medication. As JenM said, I think for most parents that decision comes after they’ve tried other therapies. Only when the therapies fail, or are taking over your child’s life would I try something invasive, personally.

You didn’t mention how old your daughter is, or what grade in school, or academic progress….have you asked what assessment the school will do? You can read up on ADHD assessment on this site, and on the American Academy of Pediatrics site as well. Check with your own MD as well….wait for all the data before deciding on the treatment.

My daughter is 7 years old in first grade. Her teacher has been at it for about 3 years now I think. Her oldest child was in kindergarten with my son so do I do know her a little bit.

My daughter does quite well in school on her good days. Her poor grades are the result of being pulled out of class for behavior issues.

She is very meticulouse. I have not been allowed to make her bed since she was 3. If I do she pulls it apart because I don’t do it right. SHe is the same way with were her stuff goes in her room. While it is fine if it is a mess, if she is going to clean it it is going to be done RIGHT!

I have been to her class lots of times. She loves having me there and is always well behaved.

It is a small town and one district. The school couselor is only in a couple days a week and tehre are not many other services available. I was not given specifics about the evaluation Wednesday.

Thank you all very much for sharing with me.

Hmm, this may be way off base, but I wonder if her behavior is the result of some obssessive compulsive issues. Your description about her need for things to done a certain way made me think of this. Does she have other rules or rituals that she feels like she has to follow? Again, this could be really far off the mark and I don’t want to get you all worried, but OCD did pop into my head when I read your last post.

OCD did cross my mind also but I have a child with OCD so I might be looking for it. There is something called OCP which is Obsessive Compulsive Personality and it is not as extreme as the OCD. You might want to read up on the two conditions if you have any concerns. Both conditions can cause a significant amount of stress between the child and parent.
Terry