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Newbie--worried and confused

Submitted by an LD OnLine user on

My DD is 5. She has the vocabulary of a an older child. She has an excellent memory, so much so that I haven’t been able to teach her to read, she memorizes the words, and guesses if she doesn’t know it. So far phonics seems to be an issue. I have my first meeting tommorrow to discuss a “disability” undisclosed with the school. Given her capacity for math, addition and subtraction, her ability to tell stories, recognize pictures in the order of stories, etc, I don’t see what disability she has. If they come at me with ADHD I will be ticked. This child focuses on things for hours at a time. She is struggling with letters and the sounds, but then she hasn’t been taught yet, and three weeks of school is hardly enough to decide she’s incapable of learning. I have wondered about dyslexia, but she doesn’t seem to have issues with words, or her speech, just the letter’s like m and w and such. So what’s normal and what’s a disability? Yes she talks all the time, but so did I, and I dont have adhd. I was labeled gifted. It’s not that I don’t want to treat or give her what she needs, but I have a child who is by all appearances above average, and who hasn’t struggled, and I just feel like they are judging her prematurely. She understands so much, and is so good with complex ideas, can define words, so nothing seems to fit…she is very articulate. Maybe it’s a visual problem like I have been reading about on the boards, but help…I mean..so much of what is on this site doesn’t apply to her at all. It’s not just my bias though. Honestly, I am a nurse too, I take care of kids. My DD is not behind, if anything she’s overly concerned with other’s opinions, worries too much. Most of her traits and abilities fall into the gifted category. Could the teacher be wrong? I kind of didn’t like her when I first met her, still kind of think maybe she’s been doing this too long, because honestly, she doesn’t seem to be that great with the kids.

Submitted by dhfl143 on Sat, 10/02/2010 - 11:43 PM

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Hi lizziemax09 -

Welcome to LDOnline. Feel free to start your own thread, as many may not see your question burried within this thread. Here are some good resources to start right here at LDOnline: http://www.ldonline.org/indepth/adhd

In addition, here are two other resources that explain the complexities of diagnosis for young children: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/2488.html

and

http://pediatrics.about.com/od/weeklyquestion/a/04_preschl_adhd.htm

Best wishes.

Submitted by lizziemax09 on Tue, 09/28/2010 - 5:57 PM

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Hi. Just newbie here. I have a 3 1/2 old son. He is a hyper active child,I was confused if he has ADHD. Could it be possible on his age? in what age do you usually know if your child has ADHD?

Submitted by Mandi on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 12:36 PM

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Sounds maybe like some form of dyslexia? There are after all several of them. I used to do the same thing when reading. For a while i had everyone fooled at 3. They thought for nearly a year that i was already reading. Unfortunately that wasn’t the case.

The best thing you can do is to get an evaluation. She will probably get labled with ADHD. No one goes in for evaluation and comes out without that lable. It is a load of BS. But what is important here because you are right something may very well be up is that you get her help that is apropriate and helpful. I don’t think she sounds like a case of ADHD either. Some other form of LD something related to written language perhaps?

I was also above average and gifted. That is actually VERY COMMON with children with dyslexia. That they are extremely bright. So just be aware of that. She probably has a very high IQ score.

Next thing i have to say to you, is i know this is hard it is new. You feel bad for a multitude of reasons, but take a deep breath. This is still your intelligent little girl. No matter what they come back to you with. This is still your bright little girl and you sound like a good parent.

Let me put it like this, don’t worry no use in worrying. It will only drive you crazy which will only make her have more trouble. If it is worth worrying about, then there is no sense in worrying. So instead, focus rather than on being frantic with fear and worry on finding answers. Answers that make sense with what you observe in your child. Don’t just listen to anyone with a few degrees if they come back with ADHD and try to medicate her. Ignore that. That is not the problem that you see when you deal with her. But go after getting answers related to what the issue actually might be.

Start out by making a list of the symptoms maybe? Then you can go in armed and specific that your daughter does NOT have ADHD. Another thing you can do is get a letter from a teacher maybe someone who watches her or babysits someone else who doesn’t feel she has ADHD. Then simply say you have the required material to examine my child. I’ll bet they still come back with ADHD and offer medication though! It’s what they do in just about every case! But they may also discover something else too and that is the part you need to jump on and look into.

Stay calm and best of luck!

Submitted by scifinut on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 12:58 PM

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I would go to the meeting with an open mind and see what they have to say. As a parent you have rights and you don’t have to agree with the school. Let them discuss their concerns and see what you want to do from there.

Submitted by saoz on Mon, 09/28/2009 - 6:19 PM

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Hi Jennifer. I am a mom and I have three sons. There problems were dyslexia and ADHD. They are older now but still have there conditions. One of my boys I knew had ADHD from the time he could walk. I should say run. The other I eventually found out in grade five (mild case)and my other son found out by himself that he had dyslexia in university. Also one of my sons was not very hyper and he was the one that took me until grade five to find out. His teacher had taught my other son and she was the one that recognized it. Also she told me that her husband was also ADHD. One of the things I did was to have their hearing and eyes checked. The schools can be of great help with learning disabilities and this meeting is a step in the right direction. You have to keep on it so that they do provide the right assistance for your daughter. Having a list of things that you have observed is great info for the school. I supply for a school and they provide good support to children that require help. I am also taking a course in Learning disabilities. I hope your meeting goes well.

Submitted by dhfl143 on Tue, 09/29/2009 - 7:13 PM

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Jennifer —

Check out this site: www.brightsolutions.us

It might help you get a better undertanding of dyslexia and help you to ascertain if your child is experiencing some of these challenges and gifts.

Your daughter sounds much like mine. It is not uncommon to find that chldren can be what is termed “2E” or “twice exceptional” which basically means that they are gifted in some areas and have challenges and specific areas of weaknesses.

Take a look at this resource:

http://community.greatschools.net/groups/16042

Best wishes.

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