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A Question

Submitted by an LD OnLine user on

Hello, All

I’m not sure this is the board to be posing this question on, but it’s the only place I can think to search for help at this moment. My 9 year old LD son, who has struggled so intensely for all his school years so far, is now making significant progress .. we’ve all been working so hard, especially my son. His teachers, who, along with us, have long been so worried about his lack of progress, are seeing great improvements .. both academically and emotionally … we have such hope for this child. My question is this, though …. at the end of the school year we’re moving one town away. Will the emotional trauma this causes him set him back in his progess? He and his brother are both afraid to leave their friends/schools. They don’t know yet that they’ll be ok in time. We’ll take every step possible to help them make new friends in our new town over the summer .. in hopes of lessening the fear when they must start a new school in the fall. I’m having him tutored over the summer .. yet, I fear this entire experience will stall or halt his progress. I’ve recently discovered that the town we’re currently in has school choice .. so I COULD continue their education here .. but is this best in the long run? For them to live in one town and attend school in another? I’m so worried about both of my sons, but what about moving in relation to my LD son’s academic struggles? Any thoughts? Thanks.

Denise

Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 04/06/2001 - 6:42 PM

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You’re asking excellent questions and raising excellent points. Children usually do have great hesitations around moving to a new community and a new school and usually do just fine with it when all is said and done. It’s also true that with the challenge of change comes growth and your sons will grow from the challenge of this experience. Life often puts change in our path and your son may be better equipped to deal with that as they will have gained experience in dealing with change from this move.

Having the possible opportunity to have your children continue to attend the current school offers the luxury of choice. How far is your new home from the old school? That should be a factor in whether you continue to have them attend their old school. What is the new school like? Have you visited it and had conversation with them around the continuation of the services your son has at his current school? Are the communities similar and are the schools similar? In size?

You don’t have to think about it as “what’s best in the long run” issue. You could continue to have your son there for one year or until the end of elementary school neither of which would fall into the catagory of the “long run.”

What’s his teacher like? If she/he’s approachable, you might consider asking the teacher what they think about his emotional growth. Would the teacher see him as being able to deal with this move well or would the teacher think the newfound emotional growth would be put at risk by the move to a new school?

Good luck with your decision.

Submitted by Anonymous on Fri, 04/06/2001 - 7:22 PM

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Dear Denise,
We live in a school district that encompasses 6 towns, and my 2 children (one LD 12 yr old and the other GT 7 year old) do not attend their home schools, but rather schools in the city in which I and my husband work. The commute is ~10 miles. We haven’t experienced any problems with living in one town and attending school in another. The kids participate in sports in the town we live in, and attend school events 10 miles away. They have friends both places, and we do make an effort to arrange playdates with school friends on weekends and vacations.

Given our experience getting good help for our LD child, if you’ve find a situation that works, I’d recommend keeping your son where he’s at assuming the commute isn’t too much for you. When he reaches middle school or junior high, and would have to change schools anyway, that may be a better time to make the switch.

Even a longer than 10 mile commute is doable. My neighbor’s son didn’t work out at our local school, and now attends a private school that specialized in learning disabilities that is 30 miles away. They make do with carpooling, and it actually has improved his relationship with the kids nearby, because they now don’t see the problems he had in school.

Sincerely,
K

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