My son has been diagnosed with ADD and is learning disabled. He is currently in the 5th grade. I have already been through the first IEP meeting and we had to reschedule another one. I did most of the talking, making everyone familiar with my sons past, his personality, (Very sweet, shy and quiet, easily overlooked) and expressing some of my concerns.
Naturally our opinions fromt he team members were very different as to his present level of performance. There were statements made like “Parents expectations are usually higher than what children are capable of achieving” (Low D to high D average), “Your child seems to be a different child at home than what we see here”, “How much medication is he taking, it sounds lik it is wearing off”, “His spelling is just fine and he is making great improvements in Language”, “It sounds like you help your child alot at home etc. etc.(Suggesting learned helplessness)”
He was evaluated two years ago. I am sure there is very valuable information in that evaluation, but I do not feel that it is being utilized correctly in his IEP.The IEP seems to be written more so on the observations of the teachers and the parents. I feel like I want a psychologist to look at his eval and say, this is what he has a hard time with, this is what needs to be worked on.Although, I don’t get the feeling that the special ed teacher even uses th IEP in the first place, so what is the point.
He has tutoring for 30 min daily but is in a class of seven and from what I gathered, they simply work on completing the daily work given by the teachers and not so much on his personal deficts. I think the first step would be to get some good goals written from his eval. but you won’t get the goals if you don’t ask for them yourself, so how do I find out what to ask for? I don’t really understand what his eval is telling me. I know that he has a large gap in his hearing vs visual and the deficit lies in the hearing. He has poor organizational skills, has to be retaught every night, when there are several steps to finding an answer in any subject he is lost, cannot retrieve important facts from material he has read, I could go on and on. He is currently getting D’s and has already failed two grades up until this point. He was also diagnosed very late (4th grade) for both hearing deficit and sight deficit even though he was tested by pediatricians, spychologists, and the school.I am not even sure if her really has ADD as he was diagnosed with that first.
Any thoughts as to where to go from here? Are Ds an acceptable grade, should I have to spend every night at the table reteaching my child because he needs individualized direction, How can I be certain his IEP is appropriate and how do I make sure that it is being utilized?
Sorry for all the questions.
Thanks,
Sue
Re: Where do I go next? (long answer)
Sara,
I was very touched by your post. I’ve been there also as a parent, especially the long hours each evening reteaching the concepts that my two children (both with significant LD, but thankfully high IQ’s) just “didn’t get” at school. My daughter, now 20, has now gone on to college, and is quite successful there. She still needs assistance with research papers, etc. but luckily in college, they seem to give you lots of time for that. My son is in high school, and I still work with him each night. We have worked on organizational skills, and memory strategies for years and years. He’s made improvement, but he still just seems to need that daily one-on-one. His teachers, when I shared with them How I knew he was truly studying for tests…since I studied WITH him, were appalled. Rather than being glad that he was learning the material, they just kept saying that I need to “back off”…we try that, backing off, several times every year and always the result is the same…he starts the downward spiral. So I start back with the one-on-one…I hope that he will find college much more manageable than high school, as my daughter has. There is less busy work, and less “in classroom time” so she has more hours to study. I always enjoy your posts and just wanted to say that I am a parent, also, who truly understands that long, hard road of daily reteaching. I think it has been a positive in my children’s education.
Thanks, RS
Re: My advice is to go outside the school system first
It really sounds as if you need to take your son to an audiologist who specializes in CAPD to get an evaluation of his auditory problems. If you take a look at some of the threads on CAPD on this bb, you will find websites and advice on how to do this. Once you have the audiologist’s report and recommendations in hand, you will be in a better position at the IEP table to get specific goals and methodologies in place.
With what you are describing, 30 minutes a day in a class of 7 is woefully inadequate.
Mary
Re: Where do I go next? (long answer)
Thank you for your time. I was touched by your post, as was RS. What you have said about school I am coming to find out, is painfully true. I know that we will always be there every night to direct him, as he tries so hard and the reaction you get from him when he finally “Gets it”, is well worth all the sweat and tears that you have put in. We try to back off at times too, so we can once again take a shot at the independance,only to see that downward spiral that RS had mentioned.
It just scares me to think that there is more that I should be doing and that I am letting the school get away with just putting a band-aid on a broken arm.
Thank you both for the wonderful advice and empathy. You have been such an inspiration for me.
Sue
Re: My advice is to go outside the school system first
Mary,
You know I thought the same thing about the CAPD when I first read about it. I believe I will do just that.
About the 30 min a day in a class of seven being inadequate, any suggestions as to what I might ask for instead? I ask my son quite a bit about what they worked on in spec ed class. He says that they work on their homework and you can ask questions if you don’t understand something. I ask ” Do you ever ask questions” He says “No not really”. You see if a child doesn’t “Get something” then they don’t know if it is right or wrong. If they don’t know if it is wrong , then they surely wouldn’t know to ask for help.
Any thoughts?
Sue
Re: Where do I go next?
The schools ‘statements’ like are you overhelping at home, is his medicine wearing off etc. sound to me like they want to blame you, the medicine and your son instead of saying oh gee WE maybe need to do more here.
Instead of having a psychologist look at the existing tests I would suggest having him privately tested. This is quite often paid for by insurance. The advantages are that you “own” the results - the school doesn’t & the results are completely unbiased. The schools ‘results’ will be based on how qualified the testors are and what the school wants to provide. Believe me they are not all qualifed. My daughter was tested privately and has NVLD. The school special ed dept. said and I quote “what is that?”.
You need to read and educate yourself so that you are better equipped to understand and advocate effectively for your son.
As for the “help” he receives at school… this is quite often what is given in special ed. Basically they are releaving the regular ed teachers of ‘dealing’ with the ‘slow’ kids by putting them in another room. They ‘help’ them by answering questions about homework. Big deal. Please note, this is NOT an appropriate education by which your son is entitled to by law. D’s are not acceptable. A - D student is NOT learning. The law does not say the school should do what they think is right, what they can afford, what they are educated to do, or any other baloney answer they come up with. The law says they have to teach every student in an individulized manner if that is what is needed. If they have to hire an aide and educate her solely for the benefit of your son that is what they have to do. However, they won’t unless you insist.
You should do everything in your power to remediate at home and help him all you can. Don’t let them make you feel guilty for this. They don’t have to like it. Also, don’t let the school system ‘dumb’ him down (or you for that matter). The truth is most schools want the funding and if mom/dad say ok to a 5th grader doing 1st grade work so they can say they ‘helped’ him, then that’s all you will get. You must advocate strongly and insist they teach him in the way HE learns.
Hang in there and remember we weren’t all born to be rocket scientists. If all the junk they taught us in school was soooo important then we wouldn’t have to look in the book when our kids ask for help!!
an Ld mom
Re: Where do I go next?
The schools ‘statements’ like are you overhelping at home, is his medicine wearing off etc. sound to me like they want to blame you, the medicine and your son instead of saying oh gee WE maybe need to do more here.
Instead of having a psychologist look at the existing tests I would suggest having him privately tested. This is quite often paid for by insurance. The advantages are that you “own” the results - the school doesn’t & the results are completely unbiased. The schools ‘results’ will be based on how qualified the testors are and what the school wants to provide. Believe me they are not all qualifed. My daughter was tested privately and has NVLD. The school special ed dept. said and I quote “what is that?”.
You need to read and educate yourself so that you are better equipped to understand and advocate effectively for your son.
As for the “help” he receives at school… this is quite often what is given in special ed. Basically they are releaving the regular ed teachers of ‘dealing’ with the ‘slow’ kids by putting them in another room. They ‘help’ them by answering questions about homework. Big deal. Please note, this is NOT an appropriate education by which your son is entitled to by law. D’s are not acceptable. A - D student is NOT learning. The law does not say the school should do what they think is right, what they can afford, what they are educated to do, or any other baloney answer they come up with. The law says they have to teach every student in an individulized manner if that is what is needed. If they have to hire an aide and educate her solely for the benefit of your son that is what they have to do. However, they won’t unless you insist.
You should do everything in your power to remediate at home and help him all you can. Don’t let them make you feel guilty for this. They don’t have to like it. Also, don’t let the school system ‘dumb’ him down (or you for that matter). The truth is most schools want the funding and if mom/dad say ok to a 5th grader doing 1st grade work so they can say they ‘helped’ him, then that’s all you will get. You must advocate strongly and insist they teach him in the way HE learns.
Hang in there and remember we weren’t all born to be rocket scientists. If all the junk they taught us in school was soooo important then we wouldn’t have to look in the book when our kids ask for help!!
an Ld mom
Re: My advice is to go outside the school system first
I went to homeschooling rather than try to work through the school bureaucracy. Figured it was a better investment of my time and energy. This worked well for us, as my daughter really needs one-on-one to learn effectively. This year she goes to school mornings (I treat this as high quality daycare and an opportunity for her to socialize, although she has learned a few things there and it really is a nice school) and homeschools academic subjects with me in the afternoon.
If you need to work with a school, arm yourself with information. A good place to start is the “LD in Depth” section of this website, especially the “assessment” and “IEP” sections. There is an excellent article that explains test score results and how to interpret them, as well as many tips on how to take charge of an IEP meeting.
If you can stand to sift through all the information to find what you need, go to http://www.groups.yahoo.com and join the IEP group there. Be prepared to receive a ton of introductory emails with IEP information unless you set your membership subscription to “no mail”. The bookmarks at the list’s home page are a good source of IEP information on the web, and you will probably find a number of websites that give IEP information for ADD and CAPD.
One of the problems is that, if your son does indeed have CAPD, you need to find out the subtype(s) of CAPD he has in order to know what kinds of services are best for him.
At some point you may want to hire an advocate to help you navigate your negotiations with the school, although this is still no guarantee you will get what your son needs. An advocate would be able to help you draw up specific IEP goals and requests.
Mary
Re: Where do I go next?
Mom,
Thank you for the response. I guess I needed the nudge to go in the right direction again. You get so tired of fighting and sometimes you need that “Go get em attitude” rejuvenated in your system.
Thanks,
Sue
Re: My advice is to go outside the school system first
Mary,
Thank you for the response. I have not been to the yahoo Iep site yet, so I am very excited about that.
I will print your post to help me deal with the hearing specialist and when I get through all that, I believe I will definately need to get an advocate. Is the definition of a child advocate a: Lawyer who specializes in child advocacy? I looked in the phone book and didn’t see anything pertaining to child advocacy.
Any help as to where to start?
Thanks,
Sue
Legal rights
Okay here are a few of your legal rights.
1. If a school is concerned and requesting evaluations regarding medication for your child,whether it is the med is “wearing Off”,they are obligated to pay for this evaluation. I can not begin to tell you how quickly they stop making this assumption when it is pointed out to them. A simple,”okay,so possibly the med is wearing off?” Gee,I suppose we could discuss this with our physican,and do another evaluation,will the district being paying for this?”
This is not to say the med might not be right,god knows we have been through enough meds,until the right one was found. I would pursue this,but I would go to a specialist,spent too much wasted time with pediatricians who didn’t understand how adhd meds work. I use a Developmental Pediatrician.
2. According to IDEA a full IEP team is obligated to be in a attendance for the IEP,this would include the psychologist,or the evaluator who did your son’s testing. They should be there to explain their eval results to the team. Making suggestions on his Strengths as well as weaknesses.This of course is assuming you are comfortable with the results,if not,if the eval doesn’t give you meaningful reccomendations,then you have the right to request a private evaluation be done at the district expense. The reccomendations are suppose to reflect what the IEP goals should be. Not scores,the reccomendations in the end of the report.
3. According to IDEA,the LEA(local educational agency) or school district is obligated to provide what is called” a meaningful educational opportunity” if your son is recieving D’s on his report card,the tutoring isn’t meaningful.
4. To get appropriate services for your child,you are going to have to fight for it,it is unfortunate.
I have some really good IEP strategies to share,if interested.
http://specialedmom.homestead.com/index.html
Re: My advice is to go outside the school system first
An advocate is usually not a lawyer. Usually it is an ex-teacher who is experienced with the school district and the special ed process. This person should know what resources the particular school district has, what is reasonable to request, etc. Some agencies/states will provide an advocate free of charge.
To find advocates in your area, go to the “Finding Help” section of this website and click on states, click on your state, and then start calling some of the agencies listed. One or more of them should be able to direct you to an advocate.
Good luck!
Mary
Re: Legal rights
Socks,
What really saddens me is that there were Nine people present. 1.psychologist (who I asked to attend, but wasn’t the one who did his eval.)
2. 5th grade Counselor
3.Principal
4.Director of Special Services
5.Special Ed teacher
6.6th Grade Counselor
7. one person I did not know who they were
8. Science teacher
9. Primary teacher (Language and Social Studies)
10.Math teacher
It seems to me that, it appears that the school is doing everything they can to help….. by commiting all of these proffesionals, but in reality aren’t doing a thing. I was the only one that spoke and they disagreed with everything I said. So it wasn’t really “the team” discussing his strengths and weaknesses.There stand was that he is making great improvements. The special Ed teacher said that “With LD children It may take several years to reach some of these goals and unfortunately reteaching is quite common and something that cannot be avoided”
The only posotive thing that happened was the Director of Special ED said that she wanted samples of his work, backing their opinions because that is the law. Well you know as well as I do they are all scrambling for all the good samples of work, which they probably did together in class or something. You can bet I am scrambling for all the D work to counterattack.
I will use your advice in dealing with the school about the medical evaluation for the meds. (He is currently being seen by a specialist who has worked with ADD for thirty years). As this seems like a very common statement that is used by teachers about my ADD child.
I will definately be using your quote about the meaningful education and will also visit your site.
Thank you very much Socks
Re: Legal rights
Sue,
you are more than welcome,as I have been there. You might consider scheduling an appt. with the evaluator,ask specific questions regarding reccomendations. Go down the list,”okay according to the math scores,what are your reccomendations for support,and accomodations? “etc.Truth is you have to chip away at em. ask questions,ask how they came accross this “wonderful” paper they found. The teacher came up with this thing at one of my IEP’s,stating that according to this paper he had met his goals,in this particular subject. “Wow” Look at this,I said to my husband,we are surprised this hasn’t ever came home with him,can we have a copy of this?” We would like to put this on our fridge!” When did he do this? Gee,I have the paper showind D work,this is indcredible” of course the tape recorder was on and running,. The goal? Well no we kept it,but changed the criteria of matsery instead. now instead of 70 % his goal was 90%. Again,learn to play their game,Good Luck.:-)
You ask good questions and I can only tackle a few of them based on my own experiences. As a parent , I understand that all parents want their children to be successful in school. As a teacher, I sadly see that that is not the mission of schools. However much I think it should be and I try to have my own classroom express my belief, most of my colleagues disagree with me.
Most of my colleagues and most of our society seem to believe that school is a kind of funnel. It is believed that by definition not every person can be successful and so school is the place where children are sorted into successful and not successful catagories. In pre-school where the opening of the funnel is widest, school is at its most forgiving. Preschool teachers do not give tests or give grades. Kindergarten is the next step up. With each step up, the funnel narrows until you get to high school where only a few are admitted into prestigious universities. School, then, was the funnel by which that sorting out process occurred.
I think all that’s horrible, by the way, but most teachers feel they serve society well. Most people in our society seem to feel that those few who reach the top of the funnel successfully do so by virtue of their hard work and natural talents and those who got sorted out were less deserving.
No parent, including me, wants their child sorted out. We want our children to learn and so want them successfully taught. Deep inside, we have a feeling that if the teaching were right, the child would learn.
I agree with that but I also see that it’s hard to make the teaching right for every child. I’m comfortable saying to parents, “I may not be the right teacher for your child” or “this school is not the right school for your child” but most teachers and most schools don’t have the freedom to say that to parents and I take a risk when I do.
Schools then tend unthinkingly to try to shift blame onto parents. It’s an embedded practice and one which few schools question. They will make implications about your parenting practices and IEP meetings, as far as I’m concerned, have the deck stacked against parents. The school brings great numbers of its employees and at most you bring yourself and your spouse.
Schools do that because it’s very difficult for schools to change from within. They can’t change overnight to accomodate any one child. Our society’s schools are asked to teach great numbers of children and so they do. Those individual children who are lost on the way are sadly considered expendable by the system. And as they cannot blame themselves, schools tend to blame parents.
I think that’s what you’re feeling now and your feelings make sense to me. To prevent my own son’s lack of success in school, I did what you’re doing now. I spend every night teaching him what the structure of the school day had not been able to do for my son and his learning differences. If I hadn’t done it, it wouldn’t have gotten done. In a class of 20 - 30, few teachers, if any, can stop for the one or two who needs something difference or something more.
When you talk about getting a school to better meet your son’s needs, you’re talking about a lot. It’s a wonderful goal and many of the parents who post to this board have “nudged” the system to get it to provide more to their child. But it takes a lot of work with the school to accomplish that.
Your school’s resource room seems to have the philosophy that it will not remediate children but it will simply tutor them. That could be then the first question you ask the school. I would like more than the learning support for my son, I would also like therapies directed at remediating his weak areas. What can we make available to him in the coming school year?
His hearing deficit is something you might want others to take a look at. Many of the things you’re saying he has trouble with are the classic problem areas for children with attentional issues. His medication, though, should be helping him with those issues and as they are not, you might want to let the doctor who prescribes his medication know that. Unless medication helps, what’s the point? Either his medication is the wrong one or he’s taking the wrong dose or he shouldn’t be on medication for ADD.
Sometimes it’s easier rather than tackling the jargon and lingo of an evalution to simply ask yourself, what subjects are hard for him? What tasks are hard for him? Does he read well? Then fine, he doesn’t need any help with that. Is it math? Does he take tests poorly? Does he do fine on tests but when it comes to writing, he can’t write down his thoughts clearly? Does he get Ds in every subject?
The answers to those questions might be things you want put into his IEP. That doesn’t mean the IEP will be followed, though, and your point about his teacher not reading the IEP is well-taken. It is difficult to “make” a school and its teachers actually carry out the stipulations of the IEP in their daily practice.
But that’s where a parent can come in again. We can do some of the things at home that we would want done in school. In the past 10 years of having a son with significant learning differnces in school, I’ve read him many of his books, Ive written many of his assignments while he dictates them to me, I go over the class work… It’s been a tremendous commitment and it’s certainly taken a heavy toll on both my son and me.
I would sincerely hope that your journey through all this isn’t as much of a challenge as I’ve found ours to be. The good news is, though, with a backbreaking amount of help at home, my son became successful in school and that’s what he said he really wanted to be.
Good luck to you and your son.