I am a second semester junior, with a recently diagnosed NLD, at a very top college, but I absolutely hate it. I’ve struggled all this time, but it gets progressively worse as I go along. I am completely uninterested in my classes and I have even grown completely apathetic about my grades. This semester, for the first time, I am not handing in assignments (like reading responses) and have handed my first papers several days late. Come to think about it, I HAVE NOT GAINED ANYTHING educationally in my classes. All it is is reading abstruse journal articles and writing papers. My mother wants me to have a college degree at any cost, but I am not sure it is all it is cracked up to be. I don’t want to transfer because I want a name-brand degree and because I am a junior and transferring would mean graduating later (as the other college won’t just let me be there for one year). Plus, my parents made it clear that since they’ve already paid over 30K for me, they want me to finish college and preferably the one I am in now.
I also feel like I’ve had a small stroke recently after being extremely short of breath for several hours. It is harder to think and it does physically feel like brain tissue has died. Clearly, choosing this school has been a mistake and I paid for my prestige-whoredom. Plus, I have other issues complicating it all and it all looks bleak.
Struggling in College
I am a Cognitive Science major with a Linguistics concentration. I’ve picked it by the process of elimination; basically tried to choose the least of the evils. But it was a wrong choice since I don’t like it and struggle with the work. I generally struggle with college work.
My college is a top private one so they don’t really want to fail people. However, I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t do the work and thus basically bring the failure on myself, although I am completely capable of passing, just with poor grades. All these past semesters, I’d squeezed my teeth and sweated for my 3.0s but this semester, I am going for Cs and Ds at most. I think it’s because I grew tired of pushing myself and stopped seeing any purpose in my classwork. I also don’t have any goals besides getting a credential to strive for.
My college is a liberal arts one, so they don’t really emphasize the major. I know that if I pass everything this semester (and I’ve managed to do almost the impossible—to jeopardize that), I only need three more classes in my major and five more classes in total in order to get my BA.
I am not sure I am going to come back to this college next year, though. Yet if I transfer to an easier school, it might not let me graduate in only a year and I would have to prolong my misery. At this point, I just want to get a college degree and forget about schooling. Another option is to take my 5 more classes at an easier school back at home and then transfer them for my degree at my current college. Technically it is possible, since I’ve already taken enough classes at my current school and thus can have those five classes be transfer credits. That way, I still get a name-brand degree.
I’ve struggled in school since early childhood, but my struggles have actually made me more driven and persevering. I’ve always been insecure about my abilities and thus craved recognition from others for academic achievement. My grade-grabber attitude got me to where I am today—at a top private college. My family had also always been very supportive and educationally oriented. However, now I see that going to the most prestigious school I could get into was a mistake and I paid for my prestige-whoredom. And yet, the lure of getting a degree from this designer-label school still entices me, since I am so close to it. My parents don’t mind my transfering to a crap school; their only condition is getting a college degree from somewhere; this they are unyielding on. Yet I still have my own ambitions to deal with. I am also apprehensive about my future beyond college, since LDs follow one throughout life and I am not sure I would ever be able to live apart from my parents and to support myself.
P.S. Actually, it’s reading period now and I am supposed to be writing a paper, but I am procrastinating here instead.
Struggling in College
You’re giving me flashbacks… this is the right time to be asking these questions, not ten years down the road. Don’t be too hard on yourself! This is like the last miles of a marathon, when you really, really aren’t sure you can make it… have you gone through this doubt before and then succeeded? Use what’s worked. You can survive this, too, and *then* figure out what you want to do with it. ‘
You have gained experience and wisdom from those classes, even if what you’ve learned is what you don’t want to do. You might not have learned what the syllabus dictated - but that’s a pretty common occurrence. The most important stuff to learn isn’t on any syllabus. (And you probably know… negative talk can come afterward… right now you need to call on the determination.)
[Modified by: Sue (Sue) on May 15, 2006 03:37 PM]
Struggling in College
Why couldn’t you live independently? You’re Ld, not mentally retarded. Stop being so damn hard on yourself! there are people who arn’t LD who couldn’t get into a top college. I’m sure you have more on the ball then you think.
Struggling in College
OK. Now time for me to reply.
You say you are about to graduate from a top
Liberal Arts College; maybe one more semester to go.
My advice: evaluate your five courses, and determine which (at most TWO) you might take a college closer to home. I have a Dysgraphia LD History, and I have some family problems. You are lucky to have the support of family; and I recognize I am in the Minority on that score. I work at Kean University in Union, NJ.
Seriously consider what you want to do with your degree, when you graduate. You need to determine how you will finish your final year of college. I have had to drop out of college. Take NO MORE than TWO (2) courses at your other college. DO NOT WORRY if it takes you until May 15, 2007 to graduate.
You have more going for you than I. I type 40WPM, yet could not get a decent grade in Math’s due to the kind of homework, and quantity of homework, and
reasonable accomodation. Now is the time to get some fresh air, plan for the Fall, and pursue the journey. Good luck.
/signed/ Joe Tag,Jr. << http://www.kean.edu >>
What is your major? What is your minor? Have you considered switching majors? How many professors have you gotten advice from (on several different occasions) ?