It’s been a while since I posted here. I’m in need of help again.9-year-old son is gifted and has ADHD. We finally got the medication figured out and he is doing well in school. This year’s teacher is very understanding and lets him do things other teachers would never consider, like she lets him take his spelling test sitting on the floor under his desk, using his chair as a desk. She figures there is no harm, it makes him happy, he concentrates and gets 100%. I like her attitude, especially after dealing with teachers in the past, like the one that sent a negative note home with him every single day to tell me what he did wrong.The principal continues to be a problem, however. My dad, who retired after teaching for 34 years, sat down and had a talk with him last year and asked him if he had any training with these kids, and the principal said no. Principal put my son into in-school suspension three times last school year — 3 times. At that time we were still working through trying to get the right medication, so son was a little rowdy, but certainly not dangerous. We ended up having a conference with psychologist, school counselor, teacher, me, and my parents (they are very involved in son’s life since I’m divorced and ex has never chosen to be a part of son’s life). School counselor said to leave principal out of the meeting, so we did.Principal backed off and even commented at open house this year that son is doing much better.Well, here it is January and right before Christmas break my son told me that back in October the principal falsely accused him of something and put him at “the trouble table” in the lunchroom. Principal told him he has to sit there for the rest of the school year. What happened was sitting at lunch one day, my son was sitting by a little boy, 2 girls grabbed the boy’s toy, and my son grabbed it back from the girls to give it back to the boy. The principal saw PART of this and decided my son was the guilty party. As always, the principal refused to listen to my son’s side of the story.I called right before Christmas and asked son’s teacher if she knew about this event. She wasn’t aware he was at the “trouble table” but said she would check and let me know. I haven’t heard from her.We are now seeing a different psychologist due to insurance reasons and I don’t like this one as much as the one that went to the conference with us. When I called to update her on how my son was doing with his new meds I told her about this trouble table business. She said, “Well, I’m sure the principal had valid reasons for putting him there.” She said this without knowing the background of the problems we (and many other parents) have had with this man.I’m off work for several days and wondering if I should call and talk to the principal directly. If so, what type of information should I be armed with? Seems like his method of sticking the ADHD kids (several of which are always at the trouble table) will brand them or label them as bad kids, and that kind of stigma can certainly affect their feeling of self worth and follow them throughout their lives. Plus, the other kids will view these kids as trouble.I don’t want to call and simply sound like a pushy mom insisting that he take my son out of the trouble table. But kids can’t always defend themselves, especially from someone who refuses to believe ADHD is a valid illness.Any good ideas out there on what I should said when I call the principal? Should I start out by asking how long he intends to leave my son at the trouble table? Should I ask him exactly behavior modification he hopes my son will gain by sitting there all year?I can’t see anything positive coming from my son sitting there ALL YEAR. But if I make him mad, I’m afraid he’ll retaliate and my son will suffer.Thanks!
Re: Calling principal re: inappropriate discipline
You definitely need to go in and ask what is going on. You have every right-he is YOUR child. You are due an explanation at the least. Never question yourself when it comes to your son. I would go in and ask the principal exactly what you said “What is your goal by sitting my child at the bad table?” If you think you might need it-take some documentation about ADD and show it to him. Sounds like the principal needs to go and get some training on how to deal with children with special needs. (At this point, I don’t think I would care if the principal thought I was pushy.) Good luck!
: It’s been a while since I posted here. I’m in need of help again.first, has your son been recognized under either 504 law or IDEA? if yes, then tell your principal that you are worried about your son’s self esteem and that it sounds like he is being punished (by the principal) for behaviors related to a disability, which would be a violation under the Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. If you son is not covered under section 504, send a letter to your school’s 504 coordinator for your school building, asking to be covered under that law. (plus any student who is considered a student with a disability under IDEA-97 federal law would also be covered under 504 law.if your son has a disability and he is being punished for behaviors that may be related to his disability, they ask principal to do a functional assessment of his behavior and set up a positive behavioral support plan. positive behavior support is effective for kids with adhd. punishment is not. why would the principal want to use a teaching technique (punishment) when it is not effective? it wastes everyone’s time and lowers the self-esteem of the child.
: 9-year-old son is gifted and has ADHD. We finally got the medication
: figured out and he is doing well in school. This year’s teacher is
: very understanding and lets him do things other teachers would
: never consider, like she lets him take his spelling test sitting
: on the floor under his desk, using his chair as a desk. She
: figures there is no harm, it makes him happy, he concentrates and
: gets 100%. I like her attitude, especially after dealing with
: teachers in the past, like the one that sent a negative note home
: with him every single day to tell me what he did wrong.: The principal continues to be a problem, however. My dad, who retired
: after teaching for 34 years, sat down and had a talk with him last
: year and asked him if he had any training with these kids, and the
: principal said no. Principal put my son into in-school suspension
: three times last school year — 3 times. At that time we were
: still working through trying to get the right medication, so son
: was a little rowdy, but certainly not dangerous. We ended up
: having a conference with psychologist, school counselor, teacher,
: me, and my parents (they are very involved in son’s life since I’m
: divorced and ex has never chosen to be a part of son’s life).
: School counselor said to leave principal out of the meeting, so we
: did.: Principal backed off and even commented at open house this year that
: son is doing much better.: Well, here it is January and right before Christmas break my son told
: me that back in October the principal falsely accused him of
: something and put him at “the trouble table” in the
: lunchroom. Principal told him he has to sit there for the rest of
: the school year. What happened was sitting at lunch one day, my
: son was sitting by a little boy, 2 girls grabbed the boy’s toy,
: and my son grabbed it back from the girls to give it back to the
: boy. The principal saw PART of this and decided my son was the
: guilty party. As always, the principal refused to listen to my
: son’s side of the story.: I called right before Christmas and asked son’s teacher if she knew
: about this event. She wasn’t aware he was at the “trouble
: table” but said she would check and let me know. I haven’t
: heard from her.: We are now seeing a different psychologist due to insurance reasons
: and I don’t like this one as much as the one that went to the
: conference with us. When I called to update her on how my son was
: doing with his new meds I told her about this trouble table
: business. She said, “Well, I’m sure the principal had valid
: reasons for putting him there.” She said this without knowing
: the background of the problems we (and many other parents) have
: had with this man.: I’m off work for several days and wondering if I should call and talk
: to the principal directly. If so, what type of information should
: I be armed with? Seems like his method of sticking the ADHD kids
: (several of which are always at the trouble table) will brand them
: or label them as bad kids, and that kind of stigma can certainly
: affect their feeling of self worth and follow them throughout
: their lives. Plus, the other kids will view these kids as trouble.: I don’t want to call and simply sound like a pushy mom insisting that
: he take my son out of the trouble table. But kids can’t always
: defend themselves, especially from someone who refuses to believe
: ADHD is a valid illness.: Any good ideas out there on what I should said when I call the
: principal? Should I start out by asking how long he intends to
: leave my son at the trouble table? Should I ask him exactly
: behavior modification he hopes my son will gain by sitting there
: all year?: I can’t see anything positive coming from my son sitting there ALL
: YEAR. But if I make him mad, I’m afraid he’ll retaliate and my son
: will suffer.: Thanks!