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I have two questions

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I have two questions.1.) I would like to take my child out of ps and hs her but her father (my ex-husband) is totally against this. Do any of you know if I have any recourse as to what I can do about his refusal to cooperate?and2.) He wants to see my “teaching certificate” that says that I am a qualified teacher. I know that I don’t need any such thing but what can I show this guy to satisfy him?Thank you

Submitted by Anonymous on Wed, 03/14/2001 - 5:00 AM

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As far as I know, the custodial parent can make the decision about schooling, at least in our state. I have known several parents in a similar situation and, in all cases, the non-custodial parent could raise a fuss (including threatening to take the custodial parent to court), but the custodial parent always won. Even when taken to court, a judge will invariably side with whatever the custodial parent wants to do — as long as it’s not totally outlandish. Homeschooling these days is considered to be highly reasonable.From a legal standpoint, I would say it’s not a problem for you. The biggest hassle would be if he wants to take you to court over it. In that case, he would have to spend money on a lawyer and court fees, and you would have to spend money on a lawyer. You would win, but you would both be out a substantial amount of time and money.The bigger problem, as I see it, is winning his cooperation so you and your child don’t have to endure arguments, snide comments, etc. The only suggestion I can make in that direction is for you to call one or more of your local homeschooling organizations for advice. Perhaps there is a local “information night” or an upcoming workshop day he could attend, so he could get information and advice from people who have been there and done that. You could call yourself and get advice on how to convince your ex, or have him call so he can talk to experienced homeschoolers who don’t have college degrees.He can “want to see your teaching certificate” all he likes. If your state doesn’t require a teaching certificate to homeschool, he can’t legally require you to produce one.Mary: I have two questions.: 1.) I would like to take my child out of ps and hs her but her father
: (my ex-husband) is totally against this. Do any of you know if I
: have any recourse as to what I can do about his refusal to
: cooperate?: and: 2.) He wants to see my “teaching certificate” that says
: that I am a qualified teacher. I know that I don’t need any such
: thing but what can I show this guy to satisfy him?: Thank you

Submitted by Anonymous on Wed, 03/14/2001 - 5:00 AM

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PASSWORD>aa4um5Lp2CxdUIt would be wise for you to contact your state homeschooling association and find out 1) exactly what the laws & regulations for homeschooling say, and 2) whether other parents in your situation have been harassed by local school officials, family court judges, etc. There a few places where school officials will use ANY excuse to harass homeschoolers, call in CPS, etc., so you want to make sure the local and state environment is homeschool friendly if your ex is likely to look for trouble.Does your daughter want to homeschool? If so, this should be good reason for her father to specify his objections and work with you to find a solution that you can all live with. Perhaps he would be satisfied if you were part of an umbrella program- that way a teacher with a “certificate” would be overseeing your progress. If socialization is his main concern, then participating in a homeschool co-op program may be a solution.Jean: I have two questions.: 1.) I would like to take my child out of ps and hs her but her father
: (my ex-husband) is totally against this. Do any of you know if I
: have any recourse as to what I can do about his refusal to
: cooperate?: and: 2.) He wants to see my “teaching certificate” that says
: that I am a qualified teacher. I know that I don’t need any such
: thing but what can I show this guy to satisfy him?: Thank you

Submitted by Anonymous on Wed, 03/14/2001 - 5:00 AM

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Well, it seems to me that you have to ask yourself how much does homeschooling mean to your child. You have to believe that it is worth all the problems you might get from your ex. When I started homeschooling my child I thought that it was the only thing that was best for my child so I would have fought anyone that said other wise. It isn’t easy to go against what others think is “right”. Most homeschooling have encountered people who thinks it is wonderful and others who have strong opinions that it is not. You have to know that it is the best thing for you and your child and then all the right things to say to convince others comes easily. Think about it and talk to other home-schoolers if you can. Brenda

Submitted by Anonymous on Wed, 03/14/2001 - 5:00 AM

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Yes, check legal custody issues. If you have solo, you are all right. If joint, you’ll have to work it out. If he finally agrees, *get it on paper*, signed and if possible notarized.Sometimes a “mixed” approach may be taken by buying a program/joining an organization that has supervising teachers (with the official credentials). Just make sure any such program is not even worse lockstep than public school.Sometimes there are “paper schools”, often church schools, that register the child and make out end-of-year reports and offer social and athletic get-togethers but kids are homeschooled most of the time.Check local and national homeschool info on internet and in newsletters for ideas.If you do total homeschooling, keep papers. Build up a portfolio of all the child’s work. Add on all her test results. Keep a log of athletic, artistic, group activities she does (I did this for one month one summer while debating home versus public school — it’s astounding how much education you really do that doesn’t get noticed.)Keep a record of *everything*. If the ex gives you a hard time and threatens court, photocopy and hit him with a mass of evidence (improved test scores on top) and dare the public school to come up with any evidence at all of your child learning and progressing.Good luck.

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