I have just found this site, I have quickly scanned some of the forums. Please be patient with me, I don’t know many of the terms I have been reading.
My son who is seven is struggling to learn to read. He is in second grade, he will be eight in June. He underwent some testing last year when he was in first grade (after I INSISTED, because he came home SOBBING one day) . .. the results were both heartening and NOT at all HEARTENING. Basically, yes, he is “behind” but not as behind as I and his TEACHER thought he would be! I don’t know HOW behind a child has to be for this testing to show any real problems . .the testing did SEEM to be pretty thorough, but I can’t say I am overly impressed with the results! He SO clearly has some REAL problems, that didn’t seem to be picked up at all. I really don’t know what our next step should be.
I don’t feel I have found ANY approach that REALLY seems to help him at home, or stands out as being more useful, we just keep on keeping on . .. I get him to read me his weekly spelling words, out of order. He has to find them at random, as I KNOW he used to memorize the list, in order. I use flash cards (but I THINK he remembers the words, and just looks at the first couple of letters) he writes the words many times, he spells them aloud, he writes the words BIG with colorful crayons and draws pictures around the word relating to the word . . . what other things might help??
I get so frustrated (WORRIED) … although I TRY not to convey that to him . . but he just cannot seem to remember when it comes to spelling. We can WORK and work on a word, I’ll think he has “got” it . .. five minutes later, nope, he can’t spell it. The most frustrating thing for us BOTH, I’m sure, is he can seemingly learn his spelling words (after MUCH work at home) do REASONABLY well on his weekly test (sometimes) . .. but a few days later I’ll get out the flash cards or ask him to write the words he painstakingly learned, GONE. It’s as if he never learned them . .back to stage one. Also, some days he seems to do much better than others!!! There doesn’t seem to be any obvious reason WHY. It doesn’t seem to relate to tiredness or anything. He goes to bed at a decent hour, eats pretty well. His teacher has also noticed this, the inconsistency in his learning.
At other times there are some words he seems to learn, RELATIVELY effortlessly, that DO stick … I couldn’t tell you WHY, there seems to be NO pattern . ..they aren’t always the EASIER words. This is all very confusing to ME, I can’t imagine how my son must feel. I SEE him getting upset and frustrated however, and it is breaking my heart.
He is NOT this way with math. He consistently does very well. He is one of the best in the class.
He gets so down about his reading, I am SO worried that he is beginning to BELIEVE he is STUPID. I TRY and emphasize how well he does at math . .. and that he IS getting BETTER with reading.
When it comes to reading questions (in any subject, including math) I have noticed that he has to work so hard to actually read the words, and that there is USUALLY (again, it is inconsistent) so little flow, that yes, he does (in the end) read the question, but can he actually understand the question? No. Now if I read him the question (after he has read it) he has no problems understanding . . but I can’t be at school with him, reading all the questions (once he has haltingly read them to himself) so he can actually understand and comprehend what he has just read to himself. Gosh, am I making any sense???
I speak to his teacher, frequently. We both know that my son does not LIKE to ask him for reading and writing help when he needs it, if he can at all get away with it. He doesn’t like to draw attention to his difficulties, in front of his peers. I am EMPHASIZING that he should not feel bad asking for help. Have asked him if he has noticed other children who don’t find EVERYTHING a breeze . .he can reel off a list of names, of children who can read well, but don’t seem to “get” math as well as he does . .. still, he’s hard on himself.
He goes to the “reading lady” for a time each morning, with a group of other children. I’m glad to report that he says the reading is “stupid” and so EASY …Sam is a man, the cat sat on the mat. Just last year he would have struggled with THAT! I feel that the “reading lady” does help, because he does need to KEEP on going over the basic, or he forgets! He doesn’t forget mathematic stuff!
I don’t know WHAT it is about reading, writing or just LETTERS in general! It took him FOREVER (it seemed) to learn his alphabet . .he STILL isn’t thoroughly confidant with the alphabet. We began working on THAT way before he began kindergarten. I have had teachers TELL ME that they feel we need to work more at home, or that BASICALLY they feel we DON’T work at home, or never have! THEY JUST DON’T KNOW! We made a letter scrapbook (pasted pictures that began with the letter) even before kindergarten!!! At least his teacher now DOES seem to appreciate that I DO TRY to help my son! I am becoming more and more worried, however. My son seems to truly struggle, and for all the HOURS we put in, working on his homework, the results seem minimal and not at all consistent. Everyday, his spelling homework is a frustrating, difficult, often tear inducing time.
Can anyone identify with this description of my son. What could the problem be, what should my next step be? How can I help him?
Re: Long, don't know where to begin
What kind of testing did you have done? The testing should have given some insight into what the problem might be. That’s the point of testing.
Without that, based on your description, it sounds as if your son has a reading issue - some might call it a dyslexia. It’s not uncommon at all for children who struggle to read to also struggle to spell. And it’s not uncommon for them to forget the spelling words quickly even with all the great reinforcement you’re giving him.
I would review his test results to be sure you’ve gleaned all the information they offer. I’d consider having more testing done - this time with the intention of getting a diagnosis and a treatment plan.
For this child with a reading issue or any other, I’d read out loud which I’m sure you’re doing. Reading outloud can only help, never hurt. I’d have him reading a little bit on his own every day at a level where he is completely comfortable reading. And if I could, I’d have him excused from spelling tests and let him spend that time reading. Before he can spell well, he has to read and read comfortably.
Good luck.
Re: Long, don't know where to begin
Sounds like learning disability. Have him retested. If he had an IQ test last year and if he has another achievement test now, you may have the discrepancy needed to get him placed in special education. It takes months to years to “cultivate” the necessary discrepancy to legally ID an LD on testing. This is just the way the states have written the laws. No fault of yours or your district.
Re: Long, don't know where to begin
Hi Louise,
First of all. Take a deep breath. Things will get better. I don’t advise teaching sight words by memorization. It is going to eventually lead to your son’s downfall. He can only remember so much - as we all can.
I recommend that you buy the book Reading Reflex that lays out the Phonographix Reading program for parents to use with their children. It is very easy to follow and it works very well - IF you keep up the practice. I used RR with my daughter when she was in 2nd grade and really not reading except for the words that she had memorized. We got up to grade level (3rd grade) within 8 months. The first two months were intense with the lessons and mapping, etc. After that it was just practicing reading, reading, reading.
You can do it!!
I second the recommendation
to buy the book “Reading Reflex”. It is available in most bookstores for $16. We used it very successfully with out 8yo when she was still reading on a preschool level.
You may also want to do Audiblox, which is a cognitive training program that helps develop sequencing ability. My dd also had difficulty learning the alphabet. Cognitive training helps a lot with that. Audiblox website is http://www.audiblox2000.com. Cost is about $80 for the book, video, and starter set of manipulatives. You then spend about 1/2-hour per day one-on-one with the child doing the exercises.
Meanwhile, I would talk to the teachers and limit homework time to 20-30 minutes per night — whether the homework gets done or not. Personally, I think a child of 7 should be getting *no* homework from school. Research shows it is actually counter-productive before 5th grade. Besides, giving a child more of what already doesn’t work for him only places additional stress on the child. You can explain that he needs after-school time for tutoring (you don’t have to tell them it’s you!). Believe me, you can do this. Parents often fail to realize the power they have.
Mary
Practical suggestions
Your son is able to deal with logic and patterns — that’s why he is good in math. His thinking style wants order and logic and rejects memorizing things that aren’t in a mental structure, which is why the lists of irregular spelling words to memorize go right out the window. So use his strengths (logical and method) to attack his weaknesses (memorization of irrelevant and often self-contradictory material).
(1) I second the advice to **temporarily** pull him out of his classroom spelling. It is clearly counter-productive. **After** he has mastered the regular English patterns, **then** it is time to start memorizing the irregular words. With luck he will get back to grade level in spelling in a short time, but even if it takes five years, he still will be in junior high and so what?
(2) The idea of memorizing “sight” words before learning phonics is well-known to be an extremely inefficient way to teach, and very frustrating to logical pattern thinkers like your son. The “reading lady” seems to be doing the right thing, going back to phonetically decodable work (“Sam has a fat cat” etc.) This will take some time, since two years of his time have been wasted in K and 1 trying to beat sight memorization in by brute force, but it is the way that leads to success.
(3) I second the recommendation to get good phonics program and teach him at home. Many people here are strongly in favour of Reading Reflex; there are other programs as well — just ask for more help if this one doesn’t suit you.
(4) Look at how he is moving his eyes when reading and his hand when writing. Proper directionality, first top-to-bottom, then left-to-right, is extremely important in developing fluent reading and writing. Many kids who have been taught to guess by sight and who are frustrated develop circular search patterns and disordered writing; at his age, this can be redirected. Particularly a pattern-thinker is helped by patterned teaching of writing — go as formal as possible.
(5) Have him *say* the **sounds** (not names) of the letters AS he wrotes them; for example, when writing “cat”, SAY “k-k-k- aaaaaaa t-t-t”” as the letters are formed. The combination of saying, hearing, and shaping the letters will make this all come together much better than reciting meaningless lists of letter names.
For now, stick to phonetic pattern spelling lists — for example, today all wods with short a like cat, tomorrow short e like bed, etc.; later, a list of spr blend one day, a list of verbs with ing another day, and so on. Irregular words can go on hold until the regular ones are mastered. (Rules first, exceptions later — makes logical sense)
Re: Practical suggestions
Thank you so very much, everyone.
I feel much more hopeful now. I definitely need to do some reading and will incorporate all your good suggestions. They are WELL worth a try. I especially like the idea of giving him tactile letters to touch and feel, and to gearing his weekly spelling to suit his needs. All words beginning with “st” one day (or one week) … I use that as an example, as he usually wants to make the t sound first, for some reason. I’m going to speak to his teacher about this. My son has SPENT LONG ENOUGH failing, trying to learn the class words for the week. I think I am going to come up with my own TEN words for a week, not twenty! I KNOW where he needs more work, and we need to go somewhat back to the basics. Goodness, one of the words he needed to learn this past week was “Southern!” This after he FINALLY learned the “ou” sound in house.
We do use phonics at home, he sounds out words, he doesn’t JUST spell them aloud, but I am going to concentrate MUCH more on phonics. He really can only be expected to remember so much, and once he does learn something, the “rules” change on him, poor child. I think it must be true, he has a very logical, methodical way of thinking. He got 100% in a math test last week, all 50 subtractions correct.:-)
I think SO DIFFERENTLY to my son (maybe another reason this is challenging for ME) I learned to read almost without effort (it seems, looking back) but I believe I gave him ALL of the mathematical side of my brain. It was NEVER in my brain, it was all stored in my genes, just waiting to be passed on. :-) His math ability amazes me.:-) The way his brain works is SO FOREIGN to me. Anyway …
Again, thank you so much for taking the time to so thoughtfully respond. I feel encouraged, and now feel that there ARE things I can do, that will really help.
If I could please ask for more of your wisdom. The kind of books that my son can read WELL or with ease are usually somewhat “babyish” in subject matter and appearance. I think he is insulted by them, and I believe it would do his self esteem good if he could read a book that LOOKS “cool” and has contents that might actually be of INTEREST to a seven year old.
He does have some of the “An I Can Read Book” by Harper Collins, they seem to be more appropriate for him. Anyother suggestions?
Re: Practical suggestions
My 12-yr-old son (reading about 4th grade level) and I read poetry.
There are a lot of funny poetry books to choose from.
Titles we are reading from: The Aliens have Landed, Bing Bang Boing,
It’s Raining Pigs and Noodles, For Laughing Out Loud, The Bad Case of
The Giggles.
The best thing about poetry is that it gives my son a sense of
control. He picks the book and he picks the poem.
He points to the words that flummox him and I break them
up for him. I mark all over the book, dividing words and checking
off poems he has read.
Look for joke books at the bookstore. Many are geared to certain
age kids or about school. We find many at the school’s Scholastic
book fair.
My son likes to pick out cartoons from the comics page to read.
The only problem I have with them is that many of them are
written in all caps. I would have no problem working through a
collection of comic strips if they are written in upper and lower
case.
I even write short and funny stuff for him to read.
Larger and more complicated novels my husband and I read to
him so he can be *in* with the latest Harry Potter, etc. We’ll
pick out short paragraphs for him to work on every once and a while
but usually just use that time to bathe him in language, vocabulary
and the story.
Anne
Re: Practical suggestions
Thank you Anne. YES, my son DOES seem to LIKE poetry. He has just one peotry book . .. he needs more, eh?! I know what we’ll be looking for in the library!
That is a GREAT IDEA, to write funny little poems or things for him to read. I’ll leave them in places I know he’ll find them
Re: Practical suggestions
You’ve gotten lots of good advice — couple of links that might be very useful:
http://www.auburn.edu/~murraba/ — “The reading genie” — this has lots of really good ideas for getting the sound/symbol stuff “in there.” It is also a great explanation of how reading works for those of us who didn’t need to know to learn it ourselves :)
And the “six ways to practice spelling” is at
http://www.resourceroom.net/OGLists/index.asp (scroll down the list — there are some other things there you might like too)
(It’s also at http://www.ldonline.org/ld_indepth/teaching_techniques/spelling_studying.html )
Re: Long, don't know where to begin
Louise, I am the one who sent you the long e-mail. You should also look here in this site on the bulletin board under “Parenting a Child with LD” Lots of information and will help you figure out some of the jargon.
Remeber, you are not alone!!! Connie
Well, part of the reason you may have gotten the results you did from last year’s testing is precisely because he was only a first grader- and sad but true- normed tests don’t actually expect much of first graders. However, in the list of things which emerged as weaknesses, I am guessing that there were some things for the school district to work on- and it sounds as though they are. You don’t say what sort of testing your son had- was it just reading or was it a full evaluation? It would be easier to make sensible recommendations with that sort of info.
But briefly:
It does sound like the school is teaching him explicit phonics and it is cool that he thinks it is easy- and if YOU know he couldn’t have done it before, then he is making some gains. This is good:)
His weekly spelling list may be over his head in terms of his skills in sequencing sounds and should probably be matched more closely to his reading. It is a truism that it is very difficult for most of the world to spell what they cannot read…
The purpose of sight words is memorization- they are words that occur with high frequency in text and that is why they are taught with flashcards. You are going for instant recognition. It is also true that kids remember words that have meaning for them more easily than meaningless words- so some of the easy high frequency words require a lot of practice to internalize.
Sue Jones has some very cool ideas for practicing spelling words posted on her site- why don’t you check there and see what appeals to you- www.resourceroom.net
It sounds as though you work very hard and are getting very frustrated. It sounds silly- but try not to-get frustrated I mean. Your son is young so it is early in the game, he is getting help and making gains. With the right sort of help, this stuff often clicks into place for a lot of kids all at once- there is a developmental piece that plays here too. The key is the right sort of help and patience. Good Luck!
Robin