teenagers/ADD/LD

: Hello Does anyone have advice for keeping a teenage girl up to date
: on her homework assignments? I am the parent/teacher. She turns
: papers in late, and is letting her grades fall. I need advice on
: how to help her keep her marks up. Thanks. MSIt’s a common question but there is no common answer that will work for all kids. Some of the things you could explore are these. Where does she write down her assignments? Does she do that regularly? Check out her assignbook or what system she has for keeping track of what work has been assigned. It’s hard to be timely if you don’t know what’s been assigned.You don’t say how old this teenage girl but does she keep a binder? Check that binder if she has one. Is it neat or are papers falling all over the place? It’s hard to be timely if you can’t find the assignment sheet.What other activities does she have in the evening? Do you observe her doing her homework? Try to set a time for her to begin homework every night. Sit down and look over her assignment book together. First, do all tomorrow’s assignments. Then tackle the long-term projects or save the long-term projects for the weekend.When she’s done, look at what she’s done.These days schools are giving a great deal more homework than ever before. Some kids are not developmentally ready to keep up with so much work. Teachers “try to cast a wide net” which means they try to plan their assignments to be right for every child but when you have 20+ kids in a room, you’ve got to be overloading some of the kids with more work than they can handle.Why are her grades falling? Just because she turns in papers late? That doesn’t quite make sense. Late papers alone shouldn’t make all her grades drop. Are the papers she hands in correctly done when finally handed in? Does she understand the material or is she not doing work because she doesn’t understand all of it?She’s fortunate to have a parent/teacher willing to help her.

: Hello Does anyone have advice for keeping a teenage girl up to date
: on her homework assignments? I am the parent/teacher. She turns
: papers in late, and is letting her grades fall. I need advice on
: how to help her keep her marks up. Thanks. MS Are her papers coming in late because she is unaware of the assignment when given out, not writing in due dates, finishing the work timely and then losing it, or forgetful in handing it in? Many children with ADD apparently have problems with organization and/or time management. I have a child with this problem, and have solved the issues to a degree through the iep. The teachers make sure everything is written in the assignment book, I read it nightly and check the backpack when work is completed. My child’s iep stipulates that he cannot be marked down for late assignments (many teachers do not want to understand this is an accomodation, but this is in the iep). There are other organizational accomodations in the iep, and I modify it as needed.

PASSWORD>aaI221mi7wL3II have a 14 yr. old son with ADD and a 11 year old daughter with ADD. The boy has trouble with time management and turning in his work and the girl doesn’t have that problem. In regards to failing in a class, I have found through working as a teacher of LD kids much of it is how well is the child attending in the classroom. If they are zoning during class by talking, drawing or not paying attention to what is going on they are going to fail the class and no matter how much homework they do is not going to make up for their inattentive behavior in the classroom. I would suggest preferential seating so that your daughter is front line and center so that she has minimal distractions, it is hard to zone directly in front of the teacher. Is she on meds at all? Meds have helped both my children in paying attention in class and to the boring details in their homework. They both have daily agendas that have to be signed. Our son has a sheet on his wall in his room that is a weekly calendar. He has to fill it out daily so that he knows what fires are coming and how to budget his time better. We are there cracking the whip every day and it is hard but by limiting his time on the computer and staying on top of his homework and making sure he isn’t drawing 24 hours a day his grades are going up. These kids need lots of structure, they need to know how far they can go and have someone to coach them through their disorganization. They need to have a distraction free environment to do their homework, no music, posters, or TV.A great book to help a person understand what an ADD person goes through is called Driven to Distraction. In there it mentions how ADD people need a coach to help them learn to modify their behavior.

OK, let’s see, keep a binder, charts on the wall, agenda, schedules, meetings — AARGH!I’ve got this classic organizational difficulty myself, you see…I have the chronological filing system on my desk — the most recent important papers are on top. Every year or two something vitally important comes up and we excavate the desk. Right now I’m preparing for a divorce hearing on Monday (That’s why you’re seeing so much of me on the web, folks; displacement activity, and rewarding myself after several hours filing papers into milk crate files. Yuck, uck, uck)The surface of my work table and the floor of my office have been found for the first time in three years.My bedroom is full of stacks of papers I am getting around to, and my coffee table has disappeared again and I’m in the middle of six house renovation projects, and yes, I write notes on my hand. And my car is a mobile office for my evening classes and has to be excavated if I take passengers.I’ve also found it useful at night to write out a list for tomorrow and leave it on my purse so I can’t get out of the house without it. Shoes and driver’s seat of the car work too as memoranda locations.Answering machines and voicemail and email are great; now when I remember something in the middle of the night I don’t have to forget it and track it down several times; I just immediately get on the phone at 3AM and call the office and leave my nice organized message.I’ve never in my life had anything like a time sense; I feel about time like the totally colour-blind feel about colour — nice theory, glad you enjoy it, but does not compute, sorry. Quartz watches with batteries are a wonderful invention and really helped me pretend to be an adult when they finally became common in my twenties.And you tell me I’m supposed to use agendas and charts for my kid? Shall we say, a bit unrealistic?I tried offering her sympathy and support and suggesting she not imitate my terrible example, because she certainly knows where it leads. I alternated this with the traditional parental screaming. The combination worked to some extent; she remembers her schedule a bit better than I do mine.She alternates a couple of good semesters, turning things in on time and being very faithful with her work, with a disaster of near-failures and dropped classes and absenteeism. She tends to focus on one thing and one thing only, to the detriment of all her other projects and responsibilities. This past semester it was first serious boyfriend, God help us, a complication to even the steadiest student’s concentration, and her academics barely survived, partly because she was in two of the classes with him (physics …). She’s known her own mind quite strongly since she was two weeks old and it takes a major tractor pull to change her direction; but I’ve found that, when she’s calm and not frustrated, most of her decisions for herself are good ones. So even since her childhood I’ve learned to stand back and only interfere when she doesn’t see the cliff edge she’s going over.Maybe using that force of will and energy that ADD kids have to take care of yourself is a good thing — she’s certainly developed character.BTW, I decided many years to learn to live with myself and who I am. I got a BSC from a good university and MA in Education and taught for several years, then when my daughter was four went back and got the honours math degree I’d intended to but got steered out of, and went to grad school in math; left that to get married again, a mistake which is now being corrected, although I did teach some college math, and I’ll probably be re-starting some graduate pure math again soon. I’m not just bragging, but trying to say that you can learn to love your ADD and make the energy work for you.My ex-husband believed in the screaming and threatening and punishing approach, which simply got my daughter’s back up worse, surprise. Neither she nor I react at all well to threats; we tend to take them as dares (Is this a characteristic of ADD, or just my family?)Anyway, all you other parents with ADD out there trying to raise your kids who take after you honestly and all too well, can’t give much real help (still trying not to drown in disorder here) but we can empathize.

: Hello Does anyone have advice for keeping a teenage girl up to date
: on her homework assignments? I am the parent/teacher. She turns
: papers in late, and is letting her grades fall. I need advice on
: how to help her keep her marks up. Thanks. MSEvery week have your teenager get a progress report from her teachers so you can keep track of her work and progress. Also, you can call the teachers any time when you have questions about her school work. Try to stay on top of things. LP

PASSWORD>aaI221mi7wL3I: OK, let’s see, keep a binder, charts on the wall, agenda, schedules,
: meetings — AARGH!AMEN~!!!: I’ve got this classic organizational difficulty myself, you see…I’ve got it too…I just busted up laughing when I read your post, my husband read it as well and said, “I can see some of you in this post as he was laughing. I also have ADD and LD kids too.I go through spurts where I am so organized it is disgusting and then all the sudden I just can’t keep it up anymore. It really bothers me when I have little piles of papers and stuff around. I swear the papers multiply and divide all by themselves when I am otherwise engaged in some other pursuits..Thanks for the humorous post, I could see myself and it made me laugh. Hope you found all your papers you needed for court!See you next time you need to be distracted…as for me I have to get all my tutoring books off the back seat of my car…where are my keys??? Anyone see my keys????..they are in your purse…oh well, then where is my purse, it is in the car where you left it… You get the drift…I have the same problem..LOL: I have the chronological filing system on my desk — the most recent
: important papers are on top. Every year or two something vitally
: important comes up and we excavate the desk. Right now I’m
: preparing for a divorce hearing on Monday (That’s why you’re
: seeing so much of me on the web, folks; displacement activity, and
: rewarding myself after several hours filing papers into milk crate
: files. Yuck, uck, uck)The surface of my work table and the floor
: of my office have been found for the first time in three years.: My bedroom is full of stacks of papers I am getting around to, and my
: coffee table has disappeared again and I’m in the middle of six
: house renovation projects, and yes, I write notes on my hand. And
: my car is a mobile office for my evening classes and has to be
: excavated if I take passengers.: I’ve also found it useful at night to write out a list for tomorrow
: and leave it on my purse so I can’t get out of the house without
: it. Shoes and driver’s seat of the car work too as memoranda
: locations.: Answering machines and voicemail and email are great; now when I
: remember something in the middle of the night I don’t have to
: forget it and track it down several times; I just immediately get
: on the phone at 3AM and call the office and leave my nice
: organized message.: I’ve never in my life had anything like a time sense; I feel about
: time like the totally colour-blind feel about colour — nice
: theory, glad you enjoy it, but does not compute, sorry. Quartz
: watches with batteries are a wonderful invention and really helped
: me pretend to be an adult when they finally became common in my
: twenties.: And you tell me I’m supposed to use agendas and charts for my kid?
: Shall we say, a bit unrealistic?: I tried offering her sympathy and support and suggesting she not
: imitate my terrible example, because she certainly knows where it
: leads. I alternated this with the traditional parental screaming.
: The combination worked to some extent; she remembers her schedule
: a bit better than I do mine.: She alternates a couple of good semesters, turning things in on time
: and being very faithful with her work, with a disaster of
: near-failures and dropped classes and absenteeism. She tends to
: focus on one thing and one thing only, to the detriment of all her
: other projects and responsibilities. This past semester it was
: first serious boyfriend, God help us, a complication to even the
: steadiest student’s concentration, and her academics barely
: survived, partly because she was in two of the classes with him
: (physics …). She’s known her own mind quite strongly since she
: was two weeks old and it takes a major tractor pull to change her
: direction; but I’ve found that, when she’s calm and not
: frustrated, most of her decisions for herself are good ones. So
: even since her childhood I’ve learned to stand back and only
: interfere when she doesn’t see the cliff edge she’s going over.: Maybe using that force of will and energy that ADD kids have to take
: care of yourself is a good thing — she’s certainly developed
: character.: BTW, I decided many years to learn to live with myself and who I am.
: I got a BSC from a good university and MA in Education and taught
: for several years, then when my daughter was four went back and
: got the honours math degree I’d intended to but got steered out
: of, and went to grad school in math; left that to get married
: again, a mistake which is now being corrected, although I did
: teach some college math, and I’ll probably be re-starting some
: graduate pure math again soon. I’m not just bragging, but trying
: to say that you can learn to love your ADD and make the energy
: work for you.: My ex-husband believed in the screaming and threatening and punishing
: approach, which simply got my daughter’s back up worse, surprise.
: Neither she nor I react at all well to threats; we tend to take
: them as dares (Is this a characteristic of ADD, or just my
: family?): Anyway, all you other parents with ADD out there trying to raise your
: kids who take after you honestly and all too well, can’t give much
: real help (still trying not to drown in disorder here) but we can
: empathize.