My 15 1/2 year old high school sophomore has ADD. He’s quite bright but is in resource for most of his academics because of his extreme distractability. He has always had problems staying focused on school work and would much rather socialize, doesn’t complete work consistently, doesn’t turn in homework, etc. Most of his teachers like him, some more than others— he’s a very likeable kid. Some of his teachers have been extremely frustrated by his behavior— calling out answers without raising his hand, socializing when he should be working, etc. On the other hand, some of his teachers have had no problem.
This hasn’t changed much over the years. Meds, when we tried them helped somewhat, but he had terrible side effects and now refuses to take them, and we can’t blame him. Meetings, reward systems at school and home, etc. haven’t helped.
Recently, he was attending a continuation-type school where he had one teacher for all his classes, and he did extremely well. The class size was small and the teacher very understanding which I’m sure helped performance. Now that he’s back in his regular high school, the phone calls are starting again.
What I’d like to get some feedback on is whether there are alternatives BESIDES sending my son back to continuation school as this school is basically where the kids are sent when they have problems which can range to gang activity, violence, drugs. We really don’t want our son back in that setting for obvious reasons.
So, what are our choices? We’ve tried homeschooling which didn’t work for us. We tried an independent study school, but my son is not an independent learner. My son has an IEP but we’re not exactly clear on how much we can expect the school to do. It appears that, what will happen if this keeps up, is that he will begin getting referrals to the office when he talks out and goofs around. Then, eventually, he will have so many “black marks” that they’ll have a reason to send him back to the contination school.
We’re just at a loss as to what to do at this point to help. My son’s getting to the point that he’s talking about dropping out. We’ve tried and tried over the years to get him the help he needs so that he would never feel this way about school and hate to hear that he’s even thinking along those lines.
Re: Is there ANYTHING else WE can do?
Thanks, Steve, it is tough. My son is immature. He hasn’t begun to think ahead yet and admits he has no idea what he wants to do in life. The only goal he seems to set for himself is to attend a local junior college and be independent some day. He thinks he has plenty of time to figure it out, and, right now, he simply wants to hang out with his friends and socialize. He resents that school interferes with that. Sigh…
motivation
Well, it sounds like school has never been a happy place for him. Frankly, I HATED school - it was SOOOO boring! I’d rather have watched paint dry! I wonder if he would be interested in getting into that Junior College sooner, like maybe getting a GED or just taking classes that might count for high school credits. Perhaps his motivation can be to escape from high school early. Besides there are some cute girls at any college campus, only a couple of years older… anyway, just a thought. Somehow he has to go after something he wants.
Re: Is there ANYTHING else WE can do?
CA Mom,
Would you like to adopt a 46 year old son with ADD? LOL!
My parents didn’t know anything about LD when I was a kid in the 70’s and by 72 they were divorced and our family was torn in half. They shuffled me back and forth until they got tired of me and shipped me off to the Navy at 17. They didn’t want me. I got discharged after 9 months (surprise surprise) and came back home but they didn’t want me. I was the unwanted child, even though they lied through their teeth and told me they loved me.
Your son is very lucky. Now that I’m all “grown up” that cuddly-puppy syndrome is gone, and people just want me to act like a man. Being a child is great if you have loving parents. If not, the chances of you ending up in an institution or jail is pretty high. I had my scrapes with the law and with mental hospitals, when all the while it was LD problems. If only they knew…
But now I’m on my own trying to get the “system” to help me build a life, and no one gives a rat’s ass. No wonder we read about guys in the paper who bring _____ to work and ____ their co-workers and then themselves. They feel trapped. I know what that’s like.
Cheers!
Ollin
Re: Is there ANYTHING else WE can do?
I have been and are currently where you are at now.
I am so sick of dealing with teachers that have no tolerance for children with ADD/ADHD.
I know they are busy with so many other students but, to my amazement, we have found that these teachers, for the most part, are just ignorant when it comes to their knowledge of these disorders and therefore would rather punish the child than spend time educating themselves on how to help them.
Like I said, been there. I have a 15 yr old step-son and an 11 yr old son both with ADD/ADHD. As of three years ago, my step-son went to live with his mother (long story short - the court system has no idea what they did placing him with a mother who is only interested in the child support checks and does not involve herself in the education of her son(whom is failing miserably). But, I dealt with all of the teachers, counselors and doctors for five years before she got him and have been dealing with it all with my own son for five years now.
We just moved to a new school district in February and they have been no more helpful than the last.
We have decided to do the electronic schooling next school year. It will allow my son to work at his own pace and eliminate all of the unnecessary work that has us all frustrated. It is sort of homeschooling but you are not the teacher. They get their lessons online and they have an actual teacher that they are accountable to. they also do testing and develop any necessary plans to assist your child in their education.
You can check it out at
[u]www.ecot.org[/u]
Good Luck
Barbara
What does he want to do with his life? It sounds like you may have a motivational problem. He may have no idea why he is going to school or where this is going to lead him. It sounds like school has been an ongoing nightmare for him, but you also tried the alternatives and that didn’t work either. At some point, it is his life, and he will have to decide what he wants it to look like. Maybe he is a good candidate for getting a GED and getting a job? Maybe he has some passion, like art or cooking or photography, that he could see as a possible career, and get into working toward? He probably feels like school is an endless tunnel to nowhere. If you can get him to look beyond high school and start working toward some personal goal, you might be able to get him engaged in some kind of a process to get there.
Sorry about your predicament! It sounds really tough! Good luck!